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Frustrated with Husband Frustrated with Husband

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Unread 11-15-2003, 09:52 AM
Angry - Frustrated with Husband Frustrated with Husband

Ladies, I just need to vent. My 6 month old DS is teething and of course you know how that can be. I'm a stay at home mom and all day long he fusses and won't take a nap so lately I'm lucky if I have time to pee or eat. When I put him down he cries and since he is a preemie with lung issues I cannot let him cry for long periods of time. Sometimes plopping him in his bouncy seat and putting on a video will buy me a few minutes of peace and quiet (not the best parenting skill, but what the heck it works). When DH comes home at night I hand my DS over to him, but I usually end up being a "gopher" for him. Honey can you get me a diaper, honey can you fix his cereal/bottle, etc. When I explain to him that I do this by myself all day long and all I want is a few minutes of peace and quiet he says "why should I have to do this alone when you're home". Well today is no different. I'm coming down with a cold (which could be a bad situation with my son's pulmonayr issues). He tells me "don't worry I'll take care of him this weekend". Well what is he doing right now - he's outside raking leaves (even though we just paid a landscaper to do a fall clean up for us) and doing yardwork. My son is in his crib right now but I can hear him fussing and I know I'll have to go pick him up and sooth him when I'm done with this post. I'm am so angry right now I could spit nails. Why doesn't he understand that I need some "me" time every now and then. Maybe it's the hormones running wild - who knows. All I know is I'm ready to rip him a new one when he comes in. Thanks for letting me vent.
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Unread 11-15-2003, 10:02 AM
Frustrated with Husband

I'm really sorry about this! I know it's frustrating!

I have a suggestion though. What about hiring a teenager or pre-teen from the neighborhood to come in and be a parent's helper while you are home?
You could do some during the week if that's possible and even some when you are both home on weekends or during the dinner hour so you guys can eat together and have a bit of "grown-up time" when no one is mad at the other guy for not being the one to jump up and fetch your son when he's fussing. Your helper will do that.
I suspect dh may feel that he, too, has put in his full work day/week and needs a break. I know, dads can be pretty clueless about the difference in some of the demands he & you face but still, he could be feeling that way.

I say help for parents of young children is even more valuable than a landscaper, right? What I mean is if he balks at paying someone, just remember that he paid someone to help him with yardwork. He can pay someone to help you both with your child.

What do you think? Might lift some stress.

Good luck & tons of s to you!!!! Your job is the toughest of all and the fact that your baby has extra trouble just makes it harder.
Have a heart to heart & get yourselves a bit of help if you can.
Unread 11-16-2003, 11:28 AM
Frustrated with Husband

Dear Lost:

xena posted a good solution!! I used to do that when my DD's were little. You get a young teen (perhaps a 12-yr-old without any *real* babysitting jobs yet) for mother's helper. This person then comes over to your home while you are there, and looks after the baby while you do whatever needs to be done around the home (bubblebath optional ). It's a good opportunity for the teen to get some skills & experience, and you can pay a *lower* rate since the helper isn't home alone.

Good luck to you

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