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1st of all...I want to say I love my children! 1st of all...I want to say I love my children!

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  #1  
Unread 11-17-2003, 11:22 PM
Unhappy - 1st of all...I want to say I love my children! 1st of all...I want to say I love my children!

before I start talking...

I have always tried to be a good mother, espically since I wasnt blessed with the best myself...

I try to help my dd, age 9 & my ds, age 8 in every way possible...but when it comes to school....sigh..

I dont know how my dd does it...she brings home the lowest grades...(shes in 3rd grade)...its like she goes 'brain dead' b4 a test, etc forgets everything....the only thing she made an a in was social studies & p.e....I cant imagine bringing home something that low...I mean she even got a 54!!!
I cant go take the tests for her & I try to question her at home, she gets it here, she gets to school & boom its gone...

Then my son, he brought home 2 77's on his report card...(hes in 2nd) I mean these were on reading & math...how easy is that? Hes got it at home, but he doesnt take the time on his tests to read..he just circles to get done, I guess...

I have never made below an A on anything in my life...I am in college now to be a cosmetologist & I have a 99 average in there thus far...

my dh is just happy if they pass...he just doesnt get it..he tells me that everyone cant make straight A's...

please help...I dont know what to do!
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  #2  
Unread 11-19-2003, 06:33 AM
1st of all...I want to say I love my children!

Wow, you've never had anything below an A in your life??? Wish I could say the same but...Not this girl!

It must be frustrating for you to see your kids struggle! It's difficult to learn to see them as individuals when at the same time we, quite naturally, see them as extensions of ourselves.
It seems that your kids, however, have very different experiences academically than you do. For whatever reasons.

First thing I'd do is talk with their teachers and ask if they can shed any light on this for you. Do they have any ideas or suggestions? They aren't always right but good teachers often are and can lead you in the right direction. When I talk with teachers or doctors I take notes. Sounds silly maybe, but otherwise by the time I get home I've lost some of it & this really helps keep things clear. Plus, it might be good for your dh to see in black & white what the teacher said.

I feel for your kids because I'm sure it is hard on them to feel they aren't successful and especially to feel they're disappointing you.
Can you imagine what it feels like to get to school, have the teacher ask you a question or present you with your test paper, and then go blank?
Makes you feel sick to the stomach. Humiliated. The danger is that if it goes on, they will begin to feel worse & worse about themselves for it & then you have a downward spiral that can be quite harmful.
You are a good mama to be addressing this early!

Sorry you didn't have the easiest childhood, you are a wonderful mom to make sure your kids have a more nurturing home. s


Good luck!!!

I just want to comment on your statement:

"Then my son, he brought home 2 77's on his report card...(hes in 2nd) I mean these were on reading & math...how easy is that? Hes got it at home, but he doesnt take the time on his tests to read..he just circles to get done, I guess..."

It appears that it is not easy for HIM. Doesn't matter if it's easy for you. Know what I mean? Your dh is right in that not everyone can get straight As. But I agree with you that you don't have to just accept poor performance. You are wise to be looking for the causes so you can help your children to do THEIR best, whatever that is. Just please try to remember that it might not be the same as YOUR best. (((bruisincloud))) this is hard stuff, isn't it??
  #3  
Unread 11-19-2003, 11:08 AM
ant that the truth?

When I said easy, I ment that its courses that you simply have to absorb in...

I am worried about them, so I did go to the teachers...cant now, cause I just had surgery on the 10th & cant go anywhere...my dh...I mean warden...wont let me!!!

I am trying to keep my expectations normal & realize that they arent me, they may not have the same 'drive' that I do, but they need to learn that they cant just slide by...

So, I have put them on limited 'goodies' & their grades are already improving.... We will see how this goes & then I will slowly give them back their phone, etc...as their grades are earned...

Thanx for your insite I appreciate it!
Have a wonderful day knowing that you are valued by me!
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  #4  
Unread 11-19-2003, 11:12 AM
1st of all...I want to say I love my children!

Ah, you aren't just smart in school, you are wise in life too!

Sounds like you have it well in hand & things are already improving! Wow, that's wonderful!

You are post as of the 10th??? s to you bruisincloud!
Hope everything is going well with your recovery. Listen to the warden, he knows what's best (for now, that is. )

Take good care of yourself. Wish I had handled all of the kids school stuff as well as you are! They are lucky little ones!
  #5  
Unread 11-19-2003, 11:54 AM
Thumbs up - 1st of all...I want to say I love my children! 1st of all...I want to say I love my children!

You make me blush!!!!

I am still trying to learn how to be a good Mother, as I didnt have the best of em myself, so I still fail miserably...but its not from lack of trying!!!

I hope that my children grow up knowing that they are loved & that I have tried to be a good Mother to them...

I dont care what they do as long as they are happy...I hope that the happiness they seek involves me on some level...

I thank you for your kind post...it ment the world to me!

I am doing well since my surgery, it seems that my biggest pain came from what was wrong with me, cause I have little/no pain now...My dh, Travis says Im just use to hurting, so I dont realize it is hurting...maybe hes right, I dont know...I just know that I feel 100% better already...I cant wait to get back out there!!

Have a wonderful day knowing that you are valued by me...
  #6  
Unread 11-19-2003, 12:12 PM
1st of all...I want to say I love my children!

I know exactly what you are going through. I went through all of that with my older 2 boys when they were in elementary school and honestly I am still going through it. May I offer you a couple of possible solutions and questions? First, have the kids tested by the school system for LD (a learning disability), if they score high then it might just be that they are bored. My daughter and oldest son are like that, only he refuses to do homework. My daughter went all the way through until she entered 10th grade before they finally realized she needed to be challenged and placed her in advanced classes. Once this was done she made honors all through high school and is now a junior in college majoring in pediatric physical therapy at one of Connecticuts top schools (University of Hartford, aka UHa). If your kids need to be challenged as well then they are probably doing the same thing as my older 2 did. The other thing is I too have a second grader son who has decided to not do his work in school, his teacher is great, she takes stars away from him and if he looses 5 stars he looses recess and the extra stuff they do. You might suggest that to you son and daughters teacher, it is working for Justin.
Hope this helps.
How are you feeling? It has now been 9 days since our surgeries.
Toni
  #7  
Unread 11-19-2003, 09:21 PM
Thumbs up - 1st of all...I want to say I love my children! All great ideas!

I hadnt thought about any of those! Thanx for sending me this info!!

How are you feeling since your surgery?
I am feeling 100% better, but Im not 100% well...I am hoping that I am on my way...

I will know more about whats going on inside when I go to the dr. for my 2 wk check up on Monday...

I hope that all is going well for you & your clan & that you heal in record time!!
Have a wonderful day knowing that you are valued by me!
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