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Unread 11-20-2003, 12:31 PM

Hi everyone, i'am new to this. I had a T.A.H due to severe endo in Feb 03 (wish i had found this site @pre op stage).I don't Know where to start, i guess i want to know if how i feel is normal,whatever "normal" may be, but the thing is i don't know how i feel either! I just know i do not feel like me anymore.Itry to look at myself as a whole but it feels like somethings missing. My emotions/hormones seem to be reeking havoc. I look at my partner and so want to tell him how i feel, how can i when i don't know? I really thought things would have settled down instead here i am in pain and waiting to have a colonoscopy(i had trouble with my bowl, they put it down to the endo. I don't have any kids, my partner has two, they live with their mum we do see them at weekendsbut i find it so difficult now though (i no this is stupid )1,because i can't have any and 2 because his ex has given him something i Never can.Sorry if this does not make sense! please help "am i normal or going mad.

love wends.
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Unread 11-20-2003, 04:14 PM

Hi cafe,
You are just experiencing normal feelings, please don't worry and think you are going mad. It must be so hard for you to talk to your partner, but please you do need to try, have you ever told him how you feel?
Would you believe I cried for 6 hours last night, it just seemed to hit me like a bombshell, OMG my womens bits have all gone.

If you want to chat more send me a pm or e-mail

take care s Karen xx
Unread 11-20-2003, 04:50 PM


You are perfectly normal. I can understand how you are feeling. I also was nevery able to have kids had LAVH at 25. I feel like I am unable to give DH something that everyother wife can give there DH a family. It hits me hard sometimes. Tuesday night I found myself also crying, I realized that had I not had the miscarge almost 8 years ago, our child would of been born in Nov and would of been 7 years old. For some reason it hit me. I had a miscarge on Mothers day.

Please talk to your partner. Let him know how you are feeling. It is hard, but it will help. It is okay to feel how you are feeling. Have you two ever considered adoption? This is an option you may want to check out if you would like to expand your family.

I also can understand the bowel issues. I have always had some issues before my sugery but always thougth it was the endo. I had a colonoscopy done on 10/30 I don't go back to see the gastro until next week. They think it may be IBS. I know how fustrating the bowel issues are. Hang in there, you came to the right website. Welcome! If you need to talk please feel free to PM me.

Sweety Tweety
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Unread 11-20-2003, 07:14 PM

Dear Wends,

I am sorry you are having such a tough time of it.

Have you mentioned any of this to your doctor? Major surgery can be very hard on one emotionally as well as physically. My doctor told me that sometimes patients can become depressed especially when things don't go well.... and I can only imagine how hard it must be considering the sad feelings about the issue of children Perhaps some counseling might be helpful. I have found it very helpful in sorting things out when I was struggling. This does not mean you are weak or "going mad"..... just that you need some emotional support through a very difficult time.

Well, keep us posted on how you are feeling. We are here to listen and offer hugs and support.

Another forum you may find helpful is "Aching Hearts".


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