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to make you giggle about bowel cleaning to make you giggle about bowel cleaning

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Unread 01-02-2004, 11:39 PM
to make you giggle about bowel cleaning

11 years ago I had to have my gallbladder removed emergency situation, next day. I was scheduled for surgery Valentines day morning. I had been prescribed the Go Lytly and an enema for the night before. I lived in a 500 square foot house, one tiny bathroom, with a husband with inflamatory bowel disease. Guess who was also scheduled for a colon study that required bowel cleansing? On the 14th!?! Yup, hubby.
So, the docs could not reschedule either procedure so onward we went....
We fasted the night before cuz we were chicken!
He drank the magic potion first. (he lost the coin toss) Down it went...with a green face and a slight gag...then quickly, out it came. (other end)... I closed the door and let him suffer alone.
When he thought he was done. I drank the dreaded potion. I threw it all up. OOPs...Do not do that... I then had to drive to pharmacy and get more....So home I went with two more bottles of it. Down it went again....Worst the second time! And down I sat on the queen's throne...already warmed up by hubby! I do remember the first cramp and whooosh of diahrea, nothing more until I wake up on the floor of the bathroom, blood everywhere... I passed out and hit my forehead on the edge of the sink and split my head open about 5 inches. Bled like a hyster syster! Hubby wanted to take me to hospital but one problem...I still had to finish the diahrea thing. So back on the throne
I finish, I think, and off to the ER to get my head sewn. Half way to ER, we both realize we BOTH are not DONE with the diahrea thing. I do not know what the other cars passing us thought but at that point as I sat on the side of the road, I did not CARE!
Ok, we both get back in car and continue to ER. We arrive in ER with blood all over me, both of us looking like hell on feet and both screaming, WHERE IS THE BATHROOM?
As I am getting my forehead stiched, 12 of them, the dr asks what happened, my hubby states, the queen fell from the throne, broke her crown.......
I will never forget that night!
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Unread 01-03-2004, 02:24 AM

OH I am sorry but I could not stop laughing! That is so awful, yet so funny. Stopping on the side of the road has always been my nightmare.

God bless and thanks for sharing!

Unread 01-04-2004, 04:42 PM
to make you giggle about bowel cleaning

You poor sweet girl (and DH)

But dang. If I could still "bust a gut" this late post op, I just DID! You are a wonderful comedy writer!

I'm sorry for laughing, but you are too funny and a talented teller.

I hope your forehead is better.

Much Love again, oops ...sorry
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Unread 01-04-2004, 04:57 PM
to make you giggle about bowel cleaning

Funny isn't it! When you think in advance about having to make a toilet stop on the side of the road you think you would die of embarrasment. But when the event actually happens, you really dont give a ****!
Unread 01-04-2004, 09:06 PM
to make you giggle about bowel cleaning

actually, as I sat on the side of the road, I did give a ****...lots of it tooo! hee hee hee
Unread 01-05-2004, 01:08 AM
brilliant tale to read, sobering to endure!

Thanks for sharing that, I cracked up laughing, what are the odds of both partners having to be cleansed the same night!

We had a friend who had to go for a barium meal and he did so well, he held on and on till they had all the pretty x rays they wanted. Finally he was told they were done and naturally asked where the toilet was ....down the corridor, take the first right, then go past three doors, turn left and second on the right......

Er, NO! He didn't make it and they had the clean up! Talk about poor planning....

Unread 01-05-2004, 10:21 AM

Do not read this if you've just taken a big swig of Coke... yep, you guessed it.... had to wipe of the puter screen before I could type a reply

I am so sorry you hurt your noggin', but thanks for sharing this... I needed a good laugh.

Unread 01-05-2004, 11:36 AM
I wonder...

What will be your response when asked 'how did you hurt your head?' Just kidding!
Unread 01-05-2004, 08:26 PM
to make you giggle about bowel cleaning

I did explain to the Dr that I passed out and fell off the toilet. He laughed, had to stop stiching, leave the room, get another resident, retell the story,...then as I was checking out of the ER, I receive a prescription slip that states:

Pharmacy, please issue one seat belt for pt. This is to be installed on her toliet and used daily.

Unread 01-05-2004, 09:18 PM
Toilet humour!

Cheeky thing, hope his embroidery is as good as his sense of humour! Thanks for reply

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