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Unread 01-08-2004, 10:35 AM

I think all of us examine our mortality more than the average person. Quite a few of us are thriving even though the odds are not in our favor. I feel quite fortunate in having been able to make the most of all the time between each ovarian cancer checkup. But the small cloud that hangs over my head will be with me for the rest of my life. It is a rare person indeed, who can be considered cured of ovarian cancer.
My own mother died tragically in an auto accident when she was
48. So many things were left unsaid and undone. Since my diagnosis I have been very conscious of leaving nothing unsaid or undone.
It was never our choice, but I find us to be such a courageous bunch of women. We are all doing what we have to do inspite of great fear.
We all take different paths, but most of us definitely find a way to go on living quite fully in spite of cancer.
oxoxoxo karenann
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Unread 01-08-2004, 02:12 PM


So sorry about your mom...

I know how hard it is to be without my mom, and especially how much I wished she were still here when I was going through treatment last year.

I, too, have tried to leave no stone unturned. During the Christmas holidays, I tried to do all of the things that I had not done in recent years because I was too busy...Christmas cookies, holiday cards, special things for my kids, etc. I also tried to get enough sleep so that I wasn't crabby. I wanted to make sure that we spent enough time together, but that the kids also got to socialize with their friends. I'm glad that I made the extra was a wonderful Christmas.

Now I have tomorrow looming on the horizon...1 year since I was diagnosed. I'm going to go about with my daily life normally, but I'll definitely thank God for this year, the early diagnosis, and the possibilities that lie ahead.

Unread 01-08-2004, 03:08 PM

How can I add anything to all the wonderful and heartfelt things that have already been contributed to this thread? I had a few bad "mortality + cancerhead" weeks over the holidays, but now I'm doing better. And it'll probably come and go.

That little tug I feel from my scar tissue reminds me to take care of myself and enjoy each day. I've already started working too much, so I think I need to scale back. I love to work, though, so . . . I have to figure out the right balance. If I can't make time for a walk, something is wrong, because taking a walk is helping me heal, and working simply helps pay the rent. And the former is more important.

I thank you all for contributing your wonderful wisdom to this thread, particularly Maureenie and Jochan, who always inspire. Not that anyone else didn't also inspire! :-)

At 38, I'm hoping for at least 30 more years. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it. I could hope for 50 more, but I don't want to be greedy, so I'll settle for 30. I will not, however, settle for 5.

LittleBird --

I'm so glad to hear that this board has helped you feel less isolated in your fight. While I can't understand all the nuances of the challenges you have faced in life, your faith and spirit help me know that you tackle each day with optimism and happiness. I'm so happy that you found this board!

SmallRoar --

I hope all the "I feel like that, too" stuff that people have posted here helps you feel like you're not alone. I know you're not a group person, but this is a group of sorts. It's sometimes easier to be yourself online, isn't it?
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Unread 01-08-2004, 06:50 PM

What a great thread. Making me think of the past 10 months of life changing events.
You have all said so much.
Each day is a gift. I tell this to my four year old who knows the word cancer and called her mommy egghead for several months.
I used to wonder where I was supposed to be. Why don't I travel more and why don't I do even more with my life? I think Dorothy said it best when she talked about not looking any further than my own backyard.
Having cancer has shown me that I can't make assumptions about my life. You never know what's around the corner. You truly have to make the best of what you are dealt with.
Unread 01-09-2004, 02:53 PM

Dear Sisters,
I am so glad to read all of your posts about this subject. The day the thread began, I was thinking about this and I felt better when I read your posts. SirenSong, my thoughts are very much
like yours. I am a stage 3C ovca survivor, and when I read the
statistics, I end up crying, but, like you said, I hope for at least
thirty more years, not the five in the statistics. I believe it is possible to overcome the statistics. One thing that comforts me is that I am thirty-two, and I remember when people with HIV and AIDS were given only a few years to live. With the new drugs in the 90's, and sometimes even without them, people with
this supposedly quickly fatal disease are still alive and many are
doing well. There is no reason why that can't be the case with
gyn cancers. With the biotech boom, and with more activism,
we can get better treatments discoved that will let us all live longer than the sometimes upsetting statistics suggest. My own
grandmother was diagnosed with breast cancer when she was only in her thirties, and was only given a short time to live by the
doctors. With radiation and a mastectomy, she lived thirty more
years. I look to her and to other long term survivors of diseases with poor prognoses and I try to have their courage, faith, and
will to overcome the statistics. Hugs, Twisted Sister

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