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sitting here crying sitting here crying

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  #1  
Unread 01-10-2004, 04:58 AM
sitting here crying

I feel stupid, sitting here crying!!!! my surg, is 2 days away. I am watching my one year old tear around the living room and my fears are horrible. I waited a long time for my beautiful 2 boys. my other one is 3. I am a nurse, but stopped working after my second child. Have to say I love being a stay home mom. I am lucky i can stay home with them, i guess having children later in life has its perks. I feel like my life is so blessed to have found such a great husband who is so devoted to his family and 2 beautiful boys. they are my life. i feel like something awful will happen to me now. i feel like i'm going nuts. Is anyone else this emotional??? Thanks for listening, had to get it out. baily
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  #2  
Unread 01-10-2004, 05:10 AM
sitting here crying

Baily,

As I am sure other ladies will tell you, it is absolutely normal to fear surgery, and we are all emotional to various degree before the big day.

The surgery itself is out of your hands, so you fear the unknown. Nothing unusual with that. The good thing is that the surgery is in the hands of two powerful allies: God and your surgeon and they both have your welfare at heart. There are sometimes problems, but they are rare.

I know it is sometime difficult, but concentrate on the positive, like the marvellous life you are going to have with your loved ones once you have recovered and compare it with your recent quality of life.

Very best wishes and I am looking forward to read your message when you get home after the op.



Nicole
  #3  
Unread 01-10-2004, 05:17 AM
sitting here crying

Baily,
I am sorry that you are so upset, but you wouldn't be normal if you didn't have some fears. I am also a nurse and due for TAH soon, also feeling weepy at times and scared.

Nicole is right, being positive is so important. I am thinking about painfree times that I will have, how I will be able to swim when I want to, and arrange trips etc, all things that are not possible now.

Best wishes
Vicky
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  #4  
Unread 01-10-2004, 08:10 AM
sitting here crying

hi baily... believe me... most of us have had exactly the same fears... i was absolutely terrified.... in the end i put my faith and trust in my surgeons hands.... it is natural to be scared as we do not feel in control.. i was so happy when i came round and that i was ok.... i thought.. all that worry for nothing..... try and stay focused... i know it is far easier said than done but it is the only way forward.... look at your little ones and dh and have faith that all will be ok... you will feel, after initial recovery, so much better and your whole life will be there for you to enjoy without all your problems... take care and my best wishes to you.... remember... we understand... we have walked your steps... hold that thought and keep it with you.. xx
  #5  
Unread 01-10-2004, 08:34 AM
sitting here crying

Baily,

Your emotions are well-known to all of us who've gone through this, for whatever medical reason. But for me having a hysterectomy led to a new life, and I sort of sensed that even before the surgery. I don't know your full situation/symptoms, but in my case it was endometrial cancer, and as scary as the "c-word" was, I knew that my prognosis was good and that I could really re-frame my life after surgery.

So look ahead to the post-surgery time, and look forward to it. Take care of yourself. Sounds like you have a wonderful life already, and I have a feeling that it will be even more wonderful after your surgery!

Blessings.
Marlene
  #6  
Unread 01-10-2004, 08:35 AM
sitting here crying

Hi Bailey,

My surgery is 20 days away and at the moment I am still relatively calm - although my 'fear level' is rising every day. I know that I will probably be in the same position that you are in at the moment when I have only 2 days left to go.

I have had abdominal surgery before to remove an ovary and tube and endometric tissue/scars. I found it very frightening that time. I had hardly ever been to the doctors before let alone go in to hospital for major surgery.

I am hoping that when I go in for my hysterectomy on 30th Jan - that I will be better prepared for what is to come but know that I will still be nervous and worried.

I have a 10 year old son and I really have to watch how I display my emotions and concerns. He is really worried as well so I try to stay really positive and then hopefully (fingers crossed) it will alley the fears that he has.

Good luck with your surgery and drop us a note to let us know how you are.

Bye for now
  #7  
Unread 01-10-2004, 08:48 AM
sitting here crying

Everyone here is right....you do fear the unknown. But put your faith in God and He will help you thru this.

My surgery was Mon and I can honestly say while I was doing all the pre-op stuff I felt the power of prayer from people on this site, friends and people from several churches who were praying for me. I didn't even take a valium to calm me down. I did let my guard down a little as they wheeled me into the OR but think it was a combination of nerves and a very cold room as I started shivering.

But I truly felt confident in my surgeon and I knew God was holding my hand as He was guiding the surgeons.

Take a deep breath and relax....it will be ok.

Blessings your way!
  #8  
Unread 01-10-2004, 09:11 AM
sitting here crying

I know what you mean about feeling like something bad will happen because you are finally happy! I feel the same way. I look around and see so much sadness and I feel like it's unfair for me to have such a happy life. Like, why do I deserve to be so happy?. Now I feel like it's my turn for sadness because I've been too happy, too long! Intellectually and spiritually I know that it doesn't work like that, but the nagging thought is still there.

I know that hundreds of women have these same thoughts and everything works out OK, but I still keep thinking that it could still happen to me! But then again I can also imagine how much better and even happier my life will be after recovery too! It's so confusing having all the different range of thoughts and emotions! Oh well, soon it will all be a memory.
  #9  
Unread 01-10-2004, 09:46 AM
sitting here crying

Hi Sheryl,

I understand how you feel but you shouldn't feel bad about feeling good. Some people are just more negative and look at the bad side of things. My former business partner was that way which is one of the reasons I left my business. Her negativity, bad attitude and martyrdom was more than I could handle. I am a more positive thinking person and I think you get more out of life if you are.

Positive thinking will help you tremendously in your recovery. If you think you're going to do well, you will. I believe we become what we think. And you deserve to be happy...it's all in how you look at things.

You will do fine with your surgery with a positive attitude. Take God's hand, and He will lead you thru.

Blessings.
  #10  
Unread 01-10-2004, 10:21 AM
sitting here crying

Sparklies,

Thank you!! You made me smile!!! You are right about positive thinking and how some people seem to only focus on the bad things. Those people are like poison and we must avoid them at all costs! I'm sure you did the right thing by leaving your business partner, you will be much happier and a lot more successful without her.

Thank you!!
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