does anyone else HATE the NEW you??

Hi sisters,
I wanted to wait until I was at six months to ask this question, because I was really hoping not to feel this way by now. Today is my birthday and a lady that I've worked with for 14 years told me that since I came back from surgery, I'm not the same anymore. I used to laugh, and joke, and now I just AM. It's true, I have NO emotions left. I had a TAH.BSO in August. My ab aches all the time, I can't even wear jeans, the pressure is too much. My libido is gone, just like a car won't start without an engine, neither can I without my female parts. If exhaustion overrides my insomnia, the night sweats are sure to wake me anyhow. I wish I never had this surgery, and I wish I had found this web-site first, maybe I would have gotten a second opinion, and waited out the endo. There is a reason mother nature takes years to put us through menopause, our bodies are not made to go into it like this. (I'm not taking HRT, endo & fibro-cystic breasts, I don't need more problems). Anyhow, I'm happy for all of you whose surgery was a great success, but I can't be the only one out here feeling like this was the worst thing they ever did to themselves!!!
Thanks for letting me vent.

I'm so sorry you feel this way. I am not far in my recovery but am not feeling too bad. I do know though that our female parts are still here. We still have vaginas and clitoris'. I don't know if you're uterus gave you pain but mine did and I'm glad to see it go. I think if I felt as bad as you I would see my doc or a counselor. My GYN happens to be a sex therapist too. He talked to me about this before and after surgery. It was very helpful. Maybe you should try an antideppresant for a little bit just pull you out of your blahs. If that's not you then go find you. It's hard to be in a dark hole emotionally. I started Prozac 1 month before surgery and am not quitting until I am 5 wk. post op. Some are more prone to getting this way than others. If you haven't ever been there it would be even harder. I knew I would get down being in bed so long. I am so sorry you regret. Don't except suffering, there are answers out there just keep looking like you are now.

Hello Sister
let me tell you lol your not the only one i just am 3 weeks post op and if there was a time capsel out there i would be in it to make my self not of had the hysterectomy in the first place grrr
emotionally im not well only becouse i look at myself in the morning and after getting out of the shower and see my self and it makes me sick to see that long scar and i use to love my flat belly after having 5 kids i use to be real proud of my figger but now i sometimes cry becouse i dont even care to have mirriors in th house anymore but i know just as well as you do its done and over with now and we have to make it so our lifes go on i just pray this will all go away soon i hope your feeling better soon but i understan what your feeling
hugs Karlene

I too hate my new self, and totally regret my decision to have those organs taken from me. I was in lots of pain before the hyst, and I am still in lots of pain, it accomplished nothing except turning me into a hormone-deprived woman in pain.

I agree with ((Peggeez_3)) about trying an antidepressant though. It's helping me cope with the trauma of this whole nightmare I'm in the midst of (another surgery last week discovered further endometriosis despite a hysterectomy to rid my body of it).

I may also suggest seeking a counselor, or talking to a close friend or a minister to help you with this all.

Please, if you need to talk further PM me.



Laura

(((((((((((whats))))))))))))),
I completly feel your pain! I had my TAH/BSO in May of 2003, I had lots of problems before my sugery. I had endo, very heavy painful periods, cysts, bad paps, ect. I still have pain and here recently its gotten worse, I have severe swelly belly, I have gained like 30 lbs I weigh more than I did when I was pregnant with my twins! I have bouts of depression, not taking anything for it, and I am on HRT. I use the vivelle dot .75. I just wish I would have put off my surgery and researched a lot more before.

I wish you all the best in your recovery, it has to get better sometime. I thank the lord everyday for this site! Its wonderful to be able to find others out there who have the same experiences we have and a great place to vent.

Lori
TAH/BSO 5/03..ENDO, ANDEO, CYSTS, SEVERE PAIN.