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anybody else with a teen drama queen? anybody else with a teen drama queen?

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Unread 02-04-2004, 05:37 PM
Talking - anybody else with a teen drama queen? anybody else with a teen drama queen?

I know what you mean. My father actually said to me "I hope you have one just like you" when I was pregnant with my 13 year old DD. And unfortunately for me I do. I do think raising teens today is different when we grew up. I was also a kid of the 80's. I gave my folks a run for their money but today I think we need to worry so much about who they are with. Some of her friends come over and I just have a nagging feeling about some of them they they can't be trusted. Yes, maybe I'm overprotective too, but I am the one responsible for raising her and sometimes I put my foot down. My daughter sometimes thinks that we owe her. We do alot for her, she has nice clothes and participates in alot of different activities that cost us a small fortune, nevermind that she begged to go to a great private high school in the area which she just got accepted to. Can you say Cha Ching$$$$$$$$$$? I don't mind doing things for her, I love her dearly, but at the same time I want her to understand that it is a two way street. I respect and provide for her she respects me and contributes to the family. Is that to much to ask?? I have three kids all together but sometimes she forgets I have two other kids to support.

Ahhhh, now that felt good to get that off my chest. Thanks for listening ladies
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Unread 02-04-2004, 09:09 PM
anybody else with a teen drama queen?

I remember so well, the days and years of living with my "drama queen" daughter. She has always been tempermental and volatile. Evem my pregnancy with her...she kicked me constantly and I could not sleep LOL.

She is a lovely and beautiful 24 year old now... not married, working and pursuing her Master's Degree. She still has her "moments' when life is high drama for her...and she calls me for advice....which is now easier to give.

My advice is to try and be as patient as you can, set your boundaries, and make your daughter responsible for her choices. Once your daughter gets past about 18, she will mature more as an adult, and hopefully appreciate all that you have done in support of her. Then, you will hopefully be able to build a reciprocal relationship. ...where she actually seeks out your advice, and respects that advice and what you have lived through as well.

Daughters are wonderful once they get to the stage of respect and independence...hang in there.!
Unread 02-05-2004, 12:38 AM
anybody else with a teen drama queen?

Patty...mine had my old prepaid cellphone when I saw that plan wasn't going to work for me...she paid for it for about a year and a half and then she got tired of paying for it and let the plan go. Think it was just a "status" of having a cell phone. I then got two radios which worked outed for tracking her down when I needed to get hold of her in the mall, etc as it reaches two mile radius. Plus she doesn't have to pay diddly for it. So she just loves that.. As for taking her shopping golly geez I really really hate to do that it is almost impossible to come out of the mall with any sort of insanity at all. Depending on who is paying too. Although we did find a lovely little mini skirt there this weekend for $4, I was "shocked" that she wanted it. As it was from a "clearance" rack. Usually she REFUSES to look at anything from a clearance rack. I was buying this time though. Was actually a "pleasant" little shopping trip.

Ann...I have had to apologize to my Mom so much lately that it isn't even funny. The other night I told her that I am being paid back "ten fold" presently for everything that I ever did to her and everything that I "didn't" do to her. Then we just laughed. My daughter is "strongwilled" where I wasn't in growing up. But I get to see what my Mom went through in raising my brother. My question though, why do I get to see this though...I didn't put my Mom through those problems... Not fair.... Not Fair: So being a single parent doesn't make this any easier on me.... As she had my Dad to help her out. I only have my cats to console me. are so right about that "nagging" feeling. As that is definately what I feel. She knows it too. She tells me often that I don't "approve" of her friends. I try to but first impressions sometimes are what I go from. Trying to get past them are hard sometimes. Guess we just want better for our kids and don't want them "mixed" up with the wrong crowd. I know from my own experiences I made some mistakes along the way and don't want mine making some of the mistakes that I made, so that is also part of the problem. Kind of a "preventive maintenance program" as well. So a combination of a lot of factors involved. But communication is definately the key and I have tried really hard to keep that door open but at times it gets really hard when things get so "secretive" at times. I still am working on the "respect" thing though as to me that is really important.

Shelley...Thanks for letting us know that "brighter" days are ahead in the future. Lets two weeks she will be 15, so that makes 3 more years till she is 18. I have 3 more years of these battles. You better stick around here and give us some pointers. As the saying goes .... She is mine...I love her dearly ... but these past two weeks I could have wrung her neck.
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Unread 02-05-2004, 07:56 AM
Smile - anybody else with a teen drama queen? anybody else with a teen drama queen?

I remember something a friend told me once. She was raising three teenage girls, her youngest is the same age as my DD so she has done this a few times already. She said that they are now entering the "dark ages". She said the little girl you know goes off into this place where you feel like you can't reach her, like you are on two different planets. Then miraculously they come out on the "other side" and suddenly you feel like that person has reentered your life. Respect for me is a huge issue, I try to give my daughter the respect that she deserves, I figure if I don't respect her then she won't respect her self and for girls today losing self esteem leads to a lot of problems, in my opinion. But there are days that the eyes roll, the "tude" shines through loud and clear and I am only human so I find myself annoyed and frustrated, and feeling that I am the only one giving to this relationship. If it were anyone else besides our daughters and we were in a one way relationship most of us would choose not to be a part of that anymore, but we can't do that here. And as some one who also looks back and realizes that I made mistakes along the way I am frightened of what may happen to her. I just don't want to see her learn the hard way like I did. I guess that is what my parents tried to tell me all along, I know I didn't listen so why do I think I can do what my parents couldn't. Just trying to get through it all one day at a time I guess, hoping and praying for the best life for her.
Unread 02-06-2004, 12:40 AM
anybody else with a teen drama queen?

Butterfly...I like what your friend told you. That is something to really thing about. Gives you a different outlook on things.
Totally agree with the rest of your post as well as that is my situation as well. Eyes rolling....Oh my gosh...I did that once to Mom....she loved to tell stories about taking me in the hallway and peeling my ears for that. But mine does it too and it makes me so so mad. Guess that is my payback to I know how my Mom felt.
Just wish they could see that we are only trying to help them along the way and really we aren't trying to "torture" their lives and make them totally miserable as they seem to think. As mine told me all last year "I can't wait till I move out". For some reason she thought she could move out when she turned 15, some of her friends at school told her I could sign some paper and she could be on her own. Wonder how she thought she was going to be on her own as far as supporting herself though. I told her when she is 18 was when she could move if she wanted as that was my dream too when I was her age. But that I didn't move till way past that is most teenagers dreams is to move away from their parents and their rules. But meanwhile while we were still under one roof there would be rules to follow. I have told her many times too that she does not have near the responsibilities that I had as a teen growing up at home. Then she reminds me that she isn't me. But I told her for the few things that I do ask her to do I do expect her to do them.
Honestly we will survive these years. Our parents did!!! So we can do this. Only like I said, my Mom had my Dad. It is just me by myself (as her father is very much an absent parent), so it does make it a little harder at times.
Unread 02-06-2004, 07:54 AM
anybody else with a teen drama queen?

Well, I don't think my DD wants to move out anytime soon, who would take her to the mall if she did that!!! Another friend just gaving me a book about raising teen girls, it's called " Reviving Ophelia" she says it really gives you alot to think about. I'll let you know how it is.
Unread 02-06-2004, 08:51 PM
anybody else with a teen drama queen?

Hi butterfly2 and all Mom's on this thread....

That's I read Reviving Ophelia, back during my daughters's adolescent years. It is quite a sobering book, as it speaks to how our daughters self-esteem is influenced by our culture...(TV, etc.) It surely gave me insight into how my daughter was feeling and being influenced.

There is another book that came out later by this author titled "Ophelia's Mom"--written from the persepective of we mom's who have learned our own lessons in dealing with our "Opheilia" daughters... here's a synoposis about Ophelia's Mom:

Culled from written submissions and interviews with hundreds of women from all walks of life and from every part of the country, the concerns voiced in Ophelia?s Mom reflect the universal experience of mothers facing one set of changes while their daughters are facing another. With humor, insight, rage, sadness, jealousy, pride, joy, and, ultimately, optimism, these mothers talk candidly about rejection and separation, feminism versus Girl Power, love and sex, friends, school, drugs and alcohol, divorce, menstruation and menopause, the mother-daughter bond, and much more.

As these mothers reveal how this life passage has reshaped them as well as their children, you?ll realize that you?re not crazy, and you?re certainly not alone in your frustration, confusion, and exhilaration over raising an adolescent daughter.

Wish I would have had this additional book back all might want to check it out.

Unread 02-06-2004, 09:22 PM
anybody else with a teen drama queen?

Boy is this the thread for me! Except my DD is only 11!! She is not a teen yet. She is such a drama queen. It is something all the time and I do mean all the time. My parents tell me that she was put on this earth to pay me back for everything that I did to them. Was I that bad? I THINK NOT!!!!!
There is no reasoning with her. My DH and I try, we only get mouth, with such attitude. It is amazing how children pick things up at such a young age. she is only concerned with #1 herself and no one else.
The only thing that works for her is picking punishments on tongue depressers. We have 10 punishments. We give her one warning and then if she continues we turn the sticks over( where she can't see them)and we make her choose a punishment. They range anywhere from no phone ,no computer, no stereo, no tv,
to no art supplies, etc. Her punishments last for 3-5 days. I change her punishments according to what FAD she is into at the monent. She gets so mad at me, but it really does work.

My 7 year old 7 keeps his mouth shut, he says he is not going to pick those punishments like his sister.

What scares me is that I know it is going to get worse.


Unread 02-08-2004, 08:30 AM
anybody else with a teen drama queen?

Butterfly and Shelley thanks for the tips on the books. Who is the author of the books? As sometimes when I go to "Books A Million" to look for certain books and can't find on the shelf they will ask me the author when they are trying to see if they have them in their store. Thanks.
Unread 02-08-2004, 09:28 AM
anybody else with a teen drama queen?

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