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my doctor broke my heart my doctor broke my heart

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Unread 02-21-2004, 08:22 PM
my doctor broke my heart

I hope you are doing well in your quest to get a doctros help
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Unread 02-22-2004, 01:53 PM
Need More advice

Just an update,
I thought I would let you know what is going on. My gyn is still refusing to see or talk to me. I don't know what to do. The specialist cancelled my pre-op appt. due to an error in schedueling and now I don't go till Tues. my surgery is still supposed to happen on Friday th 28th. I hope. I am still in tremendous amounts of pain and my hubby is trying to be understanding but know even he is wondering if the doctor might be right and I am addicted to the meds. I feel so alone... I don't feel like I am addicted to the meds. Yes I need them to help me with the pain but not for anything else. They don't even help with the pain most of the time... Now I might as well take tylenol as well as the meds do... I feel like I am so alone and have no support my hubby is talking about putting me in a rehab center... I swear I am going to scream.... I went to my gp on Fri to supposedly talk about what to do aabout my pain and what happened with my gyn and what happened she and my husband started telling me that as soon as I had my surgery I am going to have to enter a rehab they have already set it up... I was so upset I feel like he betrayed me. He told me we were going to get help dealing with my pain until surgery... Well she did give me a prescription but told me only to take it if the pain was unbearable "use it as an emergency relief only" well what they don't realize is it never goes away it never gets better. It only gets worse. Now I am not going to the bathroom... I don't have a dr to call and I am feeling like my rectum is coming out my vagina.... When I do have a BM it has blood and mucus in it and hurts like you know what..... When I urinate it feels like razor blades are ripping me apart inside. I am so at a lost as to what to do...
I am sorry this is so graphic and so long but I know if anyone will understand it will be my sisters....
In Love and Light...
Unread 02-22-2004, 01:59 PM
my doctor broke my heart

s I am sorry that you don't seem to be getting any help. If you have blood and mucous in your stools you need to see a doctor a.s.a.p.!

Do you have insurance? If so, get out your insurance doctor directory and start making some phone calls. I am sure there is more than one doctor in your area. You should not have to settle for being treated the way you have been.

Maybe you should consider going to the ER. There are doctors there, maybe after treating you they could recommend someone to do your followup care.

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Unread 02-22-2004, 04:13 PM
my doctor broke my heart

I am in agreement with Kim. Blood and mucous in your stool is not in any way normal. And it sounds like it warrents a trip to the ER, especially on the week-end. And I am also in agreement with Kim about asking for a recommendation for follow-up care. And for referral to a pain management center or clinic specifically for management of your pelvic pain.

It does seem like no one is doubting the reality of your pain, and they are willing to help you with relief until the surgery? That part seems hopeful -- that no one wants you to suffer. It very well may be that post-surgery, good willing, you will have no more need of prescription pain medicines. I pray that will be the case, that the surgeon will find the cause of your pain and you will find blessed relief! Please do not fret until then, as you need to have a positive attitude going into surgery, without all this fear and stress.

I still think having a post-surgical pain-relief plan is wise, though, because no surgery is a guarentee you will be pain-free, and it sounds like you need to have a doctor who is willing to listen to you regardless of the outcome.

Please, also, do not be too frightened of a rehabilitation program. Please cross that bridge after your surgery, and after you have found a doctor you know you can trust. One thing that a very reputable doctor suggested to me was inpatient treatment for pain management -- to help build skills as an alternative to chronic use of pain medicines. I actually found that keeping this option open has helped me to deal with all the treatments for my pain (not pelvic, severe arthritis). But the time to worry about all of that is after you have your surgery and when you are recovered enough to make those decisions. Then, any decisions you make will be empowered by the knowledge that your physical condition is being treated and that the source of your pain has been eliminated (hopefully).

Please do take care and let us know how you are doing.
With love and light,
Unread 02-22-2004, 08:17 PM
my doctor broke my heart

You definately need to be seen by someone.

I also think your dh may be jumping the gun by wanting to put you in rehab right after your surgery. Once the source of your pain is gone, and the post-op pain has lessened you will find that there is no need for pain meds. Others panic and transfer their fears onto others. It's great that he's concerned, however, it seems as if he may be putting the cart before the horse.

I know the stress of others labeling you is not helping. Personally, if my gyn wouldn't talk to me I would find someone else who would take the time to listen to me. Being in constant pain can lead to more things other than addiction to our pain meds, it can also lead to depression. Which can then require - MORE MEDICATION!

Be easy on yourself right now. Even if you were addicted to your meds, this is not the time for others to be "ganging up" on you.
If you have a therapist, talk to that person about how you are feeling about how others are labelling and treating you right now.

In AA we use the Serenity Prayer and believe me it works:
God grant me the serentity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

I have learned that I cannot change others, however, I can change how I react to them, and that makes life so much more bearable.

My heart and my thoughts are with you.
Unread 02-22-2004, 11:03 PM
my doctor broke my heart

what a personal issue. It really hit home for me. My doc also cut me off of all pain meds and told me to take bextra. Come to find out that because I have post partum cardiomyopathy a rare heart condition caused by pregnancy I am not supposed to take anti inflammatories. So I had to go to a pain management dr. He has me doing water exercise and gave me pain meds. I would kind of felt like my hubby was ganging up on me if that happened to me with the dr. They both should've waithed to see if you still had a probelm after the surgery was done. Hang in there and that was a good idea as you can see from my screen name I am very familiar with the serenity prayer.
Unread 02-23-2004, 05:25 AM
my doctor broke my heart

Please just hang in there we are all thinking of you, sometimes life can seem hopeless. Life gives us all so many struggles but, you are not alone. Your in my thoughts and prayers, Be Well
Unread 02-23-2004, 08:08 AM
Iam trying

I am trying to be strong and tell myself it will all be over soon. But this pain is miserable... DH said that a trip to the ER was not warranted and that the drs. would take care of the other problem when I saw them on Tuesday... I haven't went to the bathroom again so it has stopped bleeding. I just still have a lot of pressure. The pain is just still getting worse, but I guess that is just the adhesions. I go on Tues for my pre-op hopefully the dr will understand the degree of my pain... I haven't seen him face to face yet have not even spoke with him personally only his nurses, maybe once I meet him he will realize I am for real and not just a file I don't know, I am just hoping that my gyn hasn't influenced him in anyway. He is a friend of hers that is how I supposedly got into see him so fast... He is a top notch dr with the Univ. Of Fl... I hope it is true.
Thanks to all of you for your support it really helps to know I am not alone. I know DH loves me and is so scared and worried but I just wish I could make him understand, it hurts so bad when he says those things and then my family to, I need some support and you are always here. Thank you... I am glad God sent me to you.
I still am fighting with my gp about pain meds but she is really not willing to budge she is scared to go against the gyn. I can't blame her I guess. I do have a pain dr but he is a sports medicine dr for my back... Which now they are saying could be from the adhesions grown to my back not the SIJ joint at all. anyway he doesnt' specialize in pelvic pain... I don't really know what a pm dr is I guess. Hopefully this surgery will make me feel like a new person as long as the dr takes all the adhesions... I am hoping for a laporscopic surgery but the dr said not to hold my breathe because of the extent of the adhesions...
Well, I will keep you updated. Thank you for your prayers and sharing your angels with me...
In love and light
Unread 02-23-2004, 08:28 AM
my doctor broke my heart

Oh man - I am so sorry you are going through this. I actually became angry reading all this stuff.

A few years ago, a GYN who I went to for 15 YEARS did the same thing to me after my first lap. How dare he?! I was so angry when I called his office for a refill on my meds and his nurse accused me (with his direction) of the same **** thing your doc accused you of. I was soo fricken angry. I found another doc who is over one hour from me and was so relieved when I met her (she has endo, too!).

We scheduled a second lap (11 months after the first) and after the surgery, she told me how severe it was and was absoluately shocked with what she found - but even before, she never doubted me and that made me feel very comfortable talking to her. We have elected to do a hysterectomy since other treatments have failed but she has never allowed me to be in pain and is very understanding and that's the way it should be! I am a bit worried that I have built up a tolerance, however, I'll deal with it later when the source of my pain is gone.

Please don't allow your doc and your DH to plant seeds in your mind. It's so easy for someone who feels fine all the time to judge others with a chronic pain condition. Stand strong and tell them where to stick it.

Feel free to email me anytime if you need someone to vent to - who has gone through the same thing.

Hugs and support,
Unread 02-23-2004, 09:29 AM
my doctor broke my heart

I am so sorry you are going through all this. I am trying to figure out why your DH does not want you to go to the ER? How can he identify with your pain? Is he certified as a health professional to dictate to you as to how you wish to handle your health issues? If I was hurting, there would be no way I would allow my DH to deny me health care (and he is a paramedic!!). He is usually the first one to say I NEED to see a dr. though.

Is there a patient advocate office you can turn to about this? You need someone on your side. I don't know how rehabs work, but I am under the impression that you just can't be admitted against your will if you can make decisions for yourself. Seems to me, you have to fall under certain criteria to be admitted. You may want to investigate this on your own before the time comes so you know where you stand. I will be thinking of you and hoping things start on the upswing soon for you.

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