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  #11  
Unread 11-04-2000, 03:49 PM
Hang in there!

Melissa: I can certainly relate to your problems. I was much older (40) when I found out in May that I needed a hysterectomy because of endometrial cancer. But I have never had children, and had just fairly recently started thinking serously about making it happen. I'm not married or in a relationship, but I had hopes of getting into one, and even thought about possibly trying a sperm bank and artificial insemination. I had gone to the doc. for removal of a fibroid, which would have made a pregnancy easier, and was DEVASTATED when I was told I needed a hysterectomy instead. I wasn't even, at first, worried about having the "big C" and possible death - it was the hysterectomy that upset me. I can imagine that it must be worse for you, being SO young. But: you WILL recover from this and be happy again! It sounds hokey, but having gotten cancer has really made me appreciate life more. Mine was Stage III, so there is a real possibility of not surviving, and this has made me change my priorities. You WILL get to a point where you're grateful to be alive, and happy and enjoying life again. And as all these other people have said, adoption is always an option. As far as freezing eggs though: my doctor told me that he knew of no place where freezing eggs alone was possible - you need to fertilize them and grow an embryo and then freeze THAT. That might be worth investigating, it it's not too late.

Good luck, wherever you are, and PLEASE let us all know how you're doing, because we'll be wondering.

Terry
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  #12  
Unread 11-13-2000, 07:06 AM
post-op venting

Hi...
Firstly thankyou for replying.
I have only gotten home yesterday, had the sub-total hysterectomy last week, and so far i'm not handling it very well.
I'm really being a cow.
I know i'm being abusive and mean and I can't stop myself.
And I cry all the time, I don't know what i'm doing or saying majority of the time.
And for some reason I expected the throbbing pain in my stomach that i've had for a year and half to have magically disappeared.
I didn't expect that peeing would hurt so bad.

I feel like I did all the theoretical preperations but none of the emotional
And since coming home yesterday I had this awful dream.
I was in this big white building and a little boy was calling me and I was running around looking for him but couldn't find him and my father and finacee were there but they wouldn't/couldn't help.
And I awoke screaming, and I haven't done that since I was a little girl and afraid that a werewolf was living under my bed........
I never knew how alone I would feel.

To answer a question from a post, I did however have some eggs taken at the very beginning of my treatments last year and stored. And I know in the future I will most probably be very glad I did if thats the option we choose.

Is what i'm going through normal?

I'm sorry for venting here.

But thankyou everyone for replying.

Melissa
xo


  #13  
Unread 11-13-2000, 07:29 AM
Hope lost...

Oh Sweetie, take a deep breath and try to calm down. Yes, you are very normal!! I have two children, and still had the same horrid nightmares pertaining to babies and children. Your nerves are shot because you have gone through a lot emotionally, and you will have to go through the stages of acceptance, which are a lot like mourning. As for being nasty, a lot of that is just your hormones going crazy. The first few weeks are difficult, I know, but things will get better in time. We have all had to learn that patience is a virtue and not to give up hope! I am sure that your doc will help you with the hormone issue and as for the dreams...they will stop as soon as you make peace with yourself. You did what you had to do so that you can live a healthy life. Keep remembering that you do have your eggs stored for children in your future! I am asking the Lord to comfort you and help you in your recovery!
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  #14  
Unread 11-15-2000, 11:00 PM
Hope lost...

Melissa:

Don't be sorry for venting here! Geez, if you can't vent to fellow hyster-sisters, then where the hell can you?! So FEEL FREE. I was just happy to hear from you - I was touched by your story.

Hmmm.. so you CAN freeze eggs alone? Or were they fertilized and then frozen? Does anyone else know anything about this? My doctor told me you can't freeze eggs, and if this was yet another doctor screwing me over because he's uninformed, I'm going to be really mad! Although it was unlikely I would have done anything with them, with no uterus.

I had a couple of disturbing nightmares when I was recovering - I think it might have been the effect of the anesthesia and drugs on top of everything else. Things WILL get better with time.
  #15  
Unread 11-29-2000, 05:38 PM
Hope lost...

Melissa,
I hope you are feeling better. Sounds like you are really on an emotional rollercoaster.
I was diagnosed with cervical cancer 4 years ago, at age 25. I had a radical hysterectomy only 5 months after getting married. we were not given the opportunity to have children together either. It all happened so fast, I wasn't able to consider freezing my eggs either. I was able to keep both ovaries, but I had to have one of them removed on the 2nd of this month, due to a non cancerous cyst.
My husband and I come from small families.
We have a cat and a year after my surgery we got a dog, she is my pride and joy. In June of this year we adopted a stray cat that showed up on our step. My husband says I am a pet angel.
After my surgery, I was very emotional about have my child bearing parts removed. I went to the doctor and temporarily took anti-depressants, they helped.
Now when we got shopping or out to eat, children really get on my nerves. I seldom resent the fact I can't have any. I enjoy eating in peace and quiet. My husband and I also have the freedom to come and go when and where we please.
I hope you feel better soon.
I just wanted you to know you are not alone in being young during your unfortunate ordeal. You are lucky to have this site to post. At the time of my ordeal, we didn't have the internet with access to this site.
Keep your chin up and trust me, you will find a positive to your negative.
Thinking of you,
Stacie
  #16  
Unread 11-30-2000, 08:04 PM
Hope lost...

Melissa, I had cervical CA and had radiation and a hysterectomy and I adopted a beutiful little girl 4 years later. Not being able to have children must have been quite a blow to you but I pray first of all for your health because if you didn't get the cancer taken care of then you wouldn't be here to adopt any children in the future. When you are healthy physically and emotionally I wish you luck in exploring adoption. Take care. Hurriedh
  #17  
Unread 11-30-2000, 10:23 PM
Hope lost...

Hurriedh:

I've been thinking about the possibility of adoption in the future, but it occurred to me to wonder if having had cancer would be a mark against me if I tried to adopt. Because it could come back and the kid could be left an orphan (I'm single). Did that issue ever arise for you?

Terry
  #18  
Unread 12-01-2000, 08:01 AM
Hope lost...

To TerriJ:
As posted earlier, I had cervical cancer too. My doctor told me that cancer survivors do have a "waiting period" for adoption. If my memory serves correctly, it's 5 years after being diagnosed. I had such a great recovery, my doctor offered to write a letter if I needed one for recommendation, but we chose not to go that route.
I would check with your doctor for certain.
Good luck to you.
Stacie
  #19  
Unread 12-01-2000, 08:01 PM
adoption

terryj, I did not have to wait 5 years to adopt. I was diagnosed with the cancer in November 1994 and I adopted my daughter in 1998 and I adopted through New York State social service. The rules may be different for different types of adoption. You do have to have a physical and have a doctor state that you are able to care for a child. The only concern that the social worker had who did the home study was that I was emotionally ready to go through the stress of adopting after the stress of having cancer and I was still being treated for medical problems due to the radiation. A friend of mine adopted from China and she has Multiple sclerosis which makes her future uncertain also. Best wishes for continued health for you and good luck in your pursuit to adopt.
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