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Unread 03-01-2004, 08:33 AM
Feeling Bad!

Hello Ladies

Yesterday I felt very tired, drained even. I had a bad feeling that I didn't know how to explain.
I called about life ins. and had a thought to call my lawyer and make a living will.
I don't know what was causing me to think so negatively but
I was!
Last night I had a bad dream, and I can't remember what it was about but I have a creepy feeling over me today.
I'm scaring myself!!!!

I know that I'm not going to die for a long time, so why have all these negatives getting me? It feels as if I'm not in control of my own thoughts.

Anyone else ever have the same kind of day?
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Unread 03-01-2004, 09:35 AM
Feeling Bad!

Boy, I can relate! As I'm waiting for someone to figure out my cancer mess--and keep in mind, my cancer is on the low end of scary--my mind goes places it really shouldn't. Lucky for me I had to write my living will before I went into the hospital (hmmmm, maybe I could revise it...). What it do to stay calm is just what you do try keep a baby calm--distract, distract, distract. Get a funny moving, read an engrossing book, pray, get outside and move a little, start counting your blessings. I'm not saying it's easy, but it's do-able.

Hope you are feeling better soon.
Unread 03-01-2004, 10:23 AM
Feeling Bad!

I think we all have those kind of days, scare ourselves with premonitions and stuff. Cancer makes us think about death more, and that is scary, but not always bad, because it cal lead to a deeper appreciation of life, focusing on what it truly important.
No one dies one minute sooner or later than our all loving God designs, despite medical science best effort.
When I am feeling down, prayer, exercise and talking to a good friend helps. I hope you feel better soon.
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Unread 03-01-2004, 10:53 AM
Feeling Bad!

What Debbie and Stella say is so true. Exercise (which can really help your mood), prayer, reading, talking, making a routine for yourself...all these things can help.

My cancer was also "on the low end of scary", as Stella puts it, but I've watched others with more advanced/aggressive cancers, and noticed that the people who did the best with it tended to look upon it as another thing on the schedule (11 am radiation treatment, 2 pm lunch with friend, etc) rather than allowing it to take over their lives. Easier said than done, certainly. But it seems possible to do it, at least from what I've observed, within the limits of your own situation.

But also just remember that "cancerhead" is a common malady once the "big C" has been in your diagnosis. It's normal to get premonitions, or to assume that a scary dream is some sort of sign.

Hang in there, Amber!

Unread 03-01-2004, 12:43 PM
Feeling Bad!


Many of us who get a cancer DX get upset about it. I rememebr my gyn onc telling me not to make any big decisions or do things out of my usual range of competency for a while. Everyone takes a few weeks to get their head wrapped around the diagnosis.

I remember being on autopilot while I was recovering from surgery, but once I went back to work, I was unable to focus or cope with change. I had never had any big health problems before and I felt very vulnerable. My youngest child was just 3 and everytime I looked at him I cried.

There's no magic potionotion: to make those feelings go away, but better days will be ahead. Take care of yourself; be active in making health decisions and make sure you continue to be with those you love.

Unread 03-01-2004, 03:19 PM
Feeling Bad!

Oh boy can I relate to those scary feeling you are having. I also had horrible cancer dreams and I just couldn't get them out of my mind. I'm sure most of us have those bad days. I always tryed to tell someone about my feelings. It just helped get it out of my mind. I hope talking to us gals helps you. Take Care!

Unread 03-01-2004, 04:10 PM
Feeling Bad!

Dear Amber:

As all the other ladies have said it's not unusal to have these thoughts, nightmares and feelings. The most important thing is that we post here and try to lift one another when the other is down. It's important to have such a support group be it family/friends or HysterSisters - we gain strength and many ideas from these generous women.

I sometimes feel like a sitting duck - waiting for the other shoe to drop. Then some days I feel really positive and joyous.

I'm going to try a new thing for myself March 26 and that is a therapeutic art class. It's provided by one of our cancer support groups - I'm not good in art, can't draw a straight line but I thought I would venture out and try something new for relaxation - each time we try something new many other doors are opened to us it seems. So I'll keep you posted and share what I learn about relaxation.

Wishing you well and sending big hugs to you.
Unread 03-01-2004, 10:18 PM
Feeling Bad!

Unread 03-01-2004, 10:34 PM
Feeling Bad!

I think I can relate. As my DH was driving me to my second surgery in five months on Wednesday I had a feeling I wasn't coming back. Scary.
When I woke up after surgery and was taken to my room, I looked out the window and there was the most incredible rainbow - I took this to be a good sign! :-)
Hang in there.
Unread 03-03-2004, 07:54 AM
Feeling Bad!

I have been in the same boat too. Once they say "sorry you have cancer "all sorts go thru your head. I have had strange dreams, scary dreams since the very day I had my hyst. I still have them 2 years later. I remember some, some I don't. I have even seen my brother-who died 2 years before surgery- that was scary. Hold on tight during those days. Tommorrow is a new day.
True enough, no matter their efforts, or their pride, the doctors can use their wisdom to help. Only God decides the minute we die. My heart stopped on the operation table and I have seen the white light. It was brilliant. I talked to my brother. I woke up in ICU. There have been many times since thatI have had a diabetes coma and crshed to number 14. God is just not ready for eiter of us dear. You hold on. I have to go cry myslf nnow. They biiiiiopsied my stomach yesterday and I am still weary from anestheia , can you believe it.It was scary too.

You now join the women of steel, wow. You are a strong woman.

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