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If you have an ADHD child READ If you have an ADHD child READ

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  #11  
Unread 03-22-2004, 11:44 AM
glad things are working out for you.

If you can handle your sons needs on your own then by all means do!!! My son also needed glasses. He does also take meds. If your child is truly ADHD and you have had him tested for ADHD and other Learning disabilities then great too. For my son meds are the right thing. Just like your son needed glasses my son needs the medication that allows his brain to funtion properly. You wouldn't send your child to school without his glasses anymore then I would expect my son to go without his pill. We don't dope him up on a bunch of crap that gets him stoned and knocked out in the corner so that class can continue around him. We worked with the doctors and the school to find the correct script and dose that allows my also very bright child to be on honor roll, play sports and feel good about himself. We as parents can only do what we can for our children. Who ever these kids my be. All we can do is what we think is best and with any luck they grow up to be wonderful caring adults that can support themself and their own families some day.
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  #12  
Unread 03-22-2004, 05:05 PM
If you have an ADHD child READ

((((Donna))))) I'm so happy that, so far, you've found a way to help your son.

I just wanted to mention that for my son meds are also indicated. As I mentionned earlier, we are blessed to have a really careful and conservative doctor for him: we did try everything else before we tried the meds. And even then, we tried him on a very, very low dosage. Even today, when he's almost 13 yo, 5 ft 5 and 165 lbs, diagnosed with several borderline mental conditions as well as with the ADHD and APD, his doctor is still being very conservative with his prescription standards: as he mentionned again last week, there's still a very big margin and, should he need it, he could up the prescription... but he won't unless it's necessary.

Even my son is aware of the benefits of the meds: the meds do not make him "normal". However, the meds help him control his impulses and help him achieve a normal life style. For my DS that's worth a million.

Oh, and I wanted to mention that those years when we were trying behavior modification without the benefit of the meds, it was simply useless: he simply could not focus and control himself enough for the behaviour mods to work. With the meds and the behavior mods and the support system and all the structure, we're now seeing tons of improvements and he might, just might, have a successful life. Because, in the end, it's not about what the school wants, what we want or what his doctor wants: it's about ensuring that his needs are met.

I think that, once again, it's not about one or another approach being the best approach or the only approach. It's all about working the best solution for our child. And, sometimes, it means going against our own values or mindset: here I am agreeing to having my precious son medicated while I used to think, very hard, before giving him cold or pain medicine. But I had to learn that it wasn't about what I thought, but all about what was best for him.
  #13  
Unread 03-24-2004, 11:52 AM
Smile - If you have an ADHD child READ ADHD Kids

My son is 12 now and has ADD w/out hyperactivity. He can't focus during school and sports. He also seems to have no mental "stop" sign in his head so he's very spontaneous and discipline at home can be draining, to say the least. He showed signs of ADD since he was an infant. If he was over-stimulated by say an entire day out and going to a relative's house for a party, he would jump and scream at the top of his lungs in his crib. Of course, we'd then go and hold him and try to console him but this was just even more stimuli being added to his already over-stimulated mind. ADD was first mentioned to us when he was showing behavioral problems during preschool. He would throw wild tantrums and again, couldn't be consoled really. We thought that this was just that he was strong-willed and having a difficult time adjusting to the change of a new teacher/new classroom, etc. So we put it off. Then in grade school, learning difficulties started to emerge. He had such a hard time writing and was diagnosed with a fine motor deficiency. He was given occupational and speech therapy through school.

At one point, it was recommended that he be put in an "exclusive LD" classroom for kids with severe learning disabilities. This just didn't set well with us. He was making progress at school, just not as fast as the others. But we never had a doubt in our minds that he could and would overcome this obstacle, with love and support from us at home. He has always been a popular boy. His peers at school and in the neighborhood love him for his great, outgoing and fun personality. He doesn't get into a ton of trouble -- mostly typical "boy" stuff. The focusing at school has been the biggest issue.

In 4th grade, he had a teacher that was not understanding nor sympathetic of the fact that this guy has a diagnosed learning disability including the fine motor and a processing-disability -- which is kind of like a slow computer. He was getting the info, he was absorbing the info, he just couldn't "spit it out" during school tests, etc. His teacher that year would not make exceptions, despite the fact that he had an IEP - Individualized Educational Plan - for his learning disabilities. You know, I hate that word "learning disability" -- I think it should be "learns differently". Don't we all learn differently anyways? Some of us are auditory learners. Some of us absorb things better visually. Kids are no different -- ADD or not. Anyways, by the end of the year this teacher was handing out D's and F's to our son all the time. The school principal recommended our son be sent to an LD school across town. At first, we listened, wondering if we'd come to the "end of the road" for what we and the school could do for our son. But no, again, we KNOW our son. We KNOW that he is smart and just learns differently than the average kid. His IQ is average and above-average in certain areas. When it came down to it, we had to hire a mediator and the IL State Board of Education had to get involved. We finally came to our decision -- we would not send our son to an LD school simply because of his learning issues and the suspected ADD we hadn't diagnosed yet.

That following year, 5th grade, our son was formally diagnosed with ADD. We held off on medication initially. He didn't go on any meds the entire 5th grade. His teacher that year, a man, was just a phenomenal educator. We were lucky to have him. He saw the way our son was "wired" and was able to get through to him. His grades went up. He took 3rd place in the school's National Geography Bee. We were proud of him. He was prouder. I don't care if I have a straight-A's kid. But I do care when I see him defeated, down, and non-motivated towards school. 5th grade was a turn-around point for him. I'm so glad and thankful we followed our "gut instincts" as parents and did not listen to the school's recommendation to send our kid off to a different LD school.

It's 6th grade now and we started ADD meds at the beginning of the year. We knew that middle school would provide an entirely different sent of challenges -- switching classes, different teachers for each subject, more demanding curriculum. He has been on the honor roll every quarter.

Our ADD journey doesn't end here. And our son will deal with it the rest of his life. The GREAT part about having a kid with ADD is that you can TELL them that they have had to overcome more obstacles than many adults have ever had to. That builds character if presented in the right way.

Reassure your child every single day that they are loved. That they are smart. And just because they may learn differently than the average-Joe, that certainly doesn't make them below-average. If anything, it sets them apart and makes them above-average.

AS FAR AS DEALING WITH EDUCATORS THAT CAN'T DEAL WITH ADD - CHECK WITH YOUR LOCAL SCHOOL BOARD AND STATE GOV'T. IN THE STATE OF IL, THERE IS A PROVISION MADE FOR INDIVIDUALS WITH ADD CALLED SECTION 54. IT MANDATES THAT ALL SCHOOLS TREAT ADD LIKE A PHYSICAL DISABILITY AND MAKE ANY AND ALL NECESSARY PROVISIONS TO ALLOW THAT CHILD TO BE SUCCESSFUL IN THEIR ENVIRONMENT. Each and every child can be successful at school. Failing grades = the school system is failing your child. If necessary, you can look on-line and find an "educational advocate" lawyer to hold the school accountable to the laws in your state. Don't give up on this and don't give in to school's suggestions about your child unless you absolutely agree!


Sorry so lengthy. Lots of info.

- Lavh scheduled end of 4/04 for adeno, uncontrolled bleeding, pain!
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  #14  
Unread 03-24-2004, 05:46 PM
If you have an ADHD child READ

Hi ((((vippoemsil))))

It's amazing all of the hurdles we have to go through with our wonderful, "special" children. I agree that "Learning Disability" is the wrong turn: it should be "Learning Differently"... and I agree that we all learn differently. Even highly gifted children have a hard time functionning in a normal school environment, simply because they learn differently and, often, can't explain how they got to an answer... just know that it's the right answer... that's when they're not too bored to concentrate!!!

My DS, now almost 13, had a wonderful year when he was in the 4th grade: he had a male teacher who was young, enthusiastic, playful and who knew how to relate to the children he had the responsibility for. That year, amazingly, we didn't even get any calls from the school... such a difference from the constant calls we usually get!!! These children generally respond better to male authority. I was soooo disappointed when the school refused to make accommodations to ensure that our son would have this wonderful again... because, since then, it's been all downhill for him.

The best of luck with your DS and, hopefully, it will all be uphill for him.
  #15  
Unread 03-24-2004, 09:22 PM
If you have an ADHD child READ

As i sat here and read all of your stories i was thinking back to when my son was in grade school. He to has Attention Deficit Disorder. I was very very lucky he had a good teacher that helped us. He started being tested in second grade, by 3rd grade they knew it was ADD.. They had a teacher who would come 3 times a week and work with him one on one. He really had a hard time in school, but we were dealing with it with the help of the school. He is in 11th grade now. and doing really really well. But I know he wouldnt be where he is now if we didnt have such good and caring teachers at his school. I see so many that dont care and just push the kids on to another grade because they dont want to try a little harder with them. One thing the DR told me to do was give my son a glass of mountain-dew right before going to school he said it would counter act something in his brain and help him in school.( I know sounds stupid)..But let me tell you it worked. I had the teachers calling me at home at night asking what i was doing to keep him on track.and that his mind didnt wonder so much and he was getting most of his work done,,
So just hang in there it does get better my son is proof of that...

HUGS
Brenda
  #16  
Unread 03-25-2004, 09:23 AM
If you have an ADHD child READ

Wow, Brenda, I might just try this Mountain Dew trick. Right now I'm just about ready to try anything!!

One of the must unfortunate things that just about everyone has to deal with these days, and that includes teachers, is the necessity to "do more with less". Of course, this means doing more with less time and less money I know that, in this area, we are suffering greatly from a shortage of just about every resources, including teachers and special ed teachers.

What this means is that even the best of teachers (and I've met some simply amazing teachers since my children started school) simply do not have the time to give our special children that extra attention they so need

It doesn't help that, in my area at least, ADHD itself is considered a learning disability but with a behavior component. This means that there are no, or very few, accommodations available for these children. This is to the detrimen of everyone: I've lived it from the point of view of parenting a special needs child who couldn't have his needs met in the regular classroom and I've lived it from the point of view of parenting a "normal" child who saw her class disrupted because her teacher had to deal with four severe cases with learning disabilities with only the help of one aide. Simply put: nobody benefits!!!

I'm so happy that your child was afforded all this wonderful, extra attention and that he's now achieving in the 11th grade. Hope things continue to improve for all of you... and all of us.
  #17  
Unread 03-27-2004, 12:58 PM
If you have an ADHD child READ

Ok, I was a little offended at first when I started reading the responses that I got to my post, then I stepped back and started over. Let me say that by no means was I down playing what works for others and yes I know that for some meds are what helps. I posted what our (mine & Dh's) experiences have been with our son. In no way did I intend to compare our approach to yours or anyone elses, if you took it that way then I'm sorry.

In my case I do believe that kids today are not allowed to be kids like we were. They are not allowed to go into the lunch room here in public school and sit where they want and chat with whomever they want. They are made to sit and be quiet in assigned seats. They only get recess when it's convenient for the teacher or the weather is "nice". More and more in today's society kids are expected to be seen and not heard, they have no releases for their pent up energy to be released unles they are involved in organized sports but then they must be old enough or good enough for someone else to participate. I'm not saying our children have to be wild or unrulely, all I'm saying is they need to be allowed to expell some of the enegery they have.

Dany..I agree, if the Mt. Dew thing works them I'm all for it. Let's face it most adults need a dose of caffeine to get them going in the right direction in the mornings too.

Blessings and s

Donna
  #18  
Unread 03-27-2004, 03:34 PM
I'm Sorry

I am sorry if my post was one that upset you. That was not why I said what I did. My point is that if they NEED them then they NEED them. I am not Proud that I have to give my son meds but I am proud of my son. We tried everything to help him but nothing seemed to help. I don't want him to fail because of something I did to him. We work our butts off meeting with teachers and keeping him in a lifestyle that works for him and keep us sane...most days. I just want him to grow up and have the tools that he needs to be a success.

My doctor also suggested giving Mt Dew or coke. The caffeine is a stimulate just like Ritalin and the other things that we give our kids to help level out the ADHD. I keep a 12 pk in Justin's Classroom for the days when the afternoon is just a little bit tooooo loooonnnnggggg!!!

I truely hope that your boys are doing very well and I love and respect you for going to bat for your kids and doing all that you can to help them make it. Good Luck with yours!!!!
  #19  
Unread 03-27-2004, 08:32 PM
If you have an ADHD child READ

((((Donna)))) I'm sorry if my reply to your post offended you I didn't mean to do that, and that's not how I meant it.

Over the years I've heard, over and over and over again, that medicating children is wrong... from the same people, usually, who will comment just how unruly my (heavily) medicated child is So, I guess, I have a tendency to get on my soapbox when I feel that my decision to go with medication is either challenged or unvalidated.

I know that, in areas, kids are not allowed to be kids and that happens to be one of the things I deplore. However, where my special needs child is concerned (and we're now finding out that we're dealing with a much more severe condition than ADHD alone), that is not the case: he is allowed to be a kid.... but he prefers to just spend his time in front of a video game: we, litterally, have to drag him away... often in the midst of a melt-down

In the end, what really matters, is that we help our children make it and turn into the responsible adults that we know that they can be. Whatever it is that helps them, we have to accept it and work with them. And, as we all know, none of it is easy.

((((Donna)))), KyGal and all of us that are striving to help our special needs children... kudos and s... 'cause I know just how much it helps to have a shoulder to lean on, once in a while, as keep being strong for our precious charges.
  #20  
Unread 04-19-2004, 06:15 AM
Smile - If you have an ADHD child READ my DD

m DD is 9 (just) she is very bright, (not just saying that cos she's mine, she is)i didnt think when she started at school, that she would have problems, but she has. year 2 (6-7) the teacher would keep her hemmed in her chair, and it caused her to be very unhappy. she was awful with other DD her social behaviour was appalling. then in year 3, she had a more sympathetic teacher (and a fresh start) i had her assessed, and while believing that she had a short concentration span, they didnt think she was severe enough to be statemented ADHD. she was set her own work programme. if class had to produce a story in 20 lines, then, if she normally produced 4 lines, she had to produce 6 lines. in between workloads (they "chunked" her work for her, she performed better if she could see a clear end to the task) she got to do a maths programme on the computer. after a year in year 3, she has come on in leaps and bounds. now in year 4,(8-9) she has progressed even further. she is still wild and crazy in some of her behaviour, but after a course of occupational therapy at local childrens centre, and teacher continuing with last years programme, we are now seeing a different child emerge. she gets good comments from teacher, with things like 'Amy is showing a very mature response to class [email protected] etc. at end of summer term, she is to go for a two week "booster" physiotherapy course, to get her ready for the next years school year. If anybody can benefit from some of the ideas that educational therapist put in for my DD, then i am glad. Amy now has a reading age 18months above age, comprehension 15 months above age and maths score (average 100) she scored 99. i am finally looking towards the good school report, that i always thought that she should have
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