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HELP I've fallen [in] and I can't get up!! HELP I've fallen [in] and I can't get up!!

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Unread 03-12-2004, 08:53 PM
HELP I've fallen [in] and I can't get up!!

I had LAVH and remove right ovary two weeks and one day ago.

Ok, so I take a short nap today. Get up in sleepy stupor and head to the bathroom. Turn, sit, OH NOOOOO!!!, try to catch myself in half sit position, gut muscles start to spasm, walls don't seem to have handles...ahhhhhh yes, we have splash down!!! Ok, so I sit there, behind soaking in the cold water, momentarily cursing Tom for leaving the ring up. Then, the struggle begins. Did you all know that you *need* to use gut/stomach muscles to stand from folded in the toilet position?? Muscles not cooperating. I grab at the walls, no help (thinking really ought to put handles in for safety sake). Stretch forward, trying to grab the go, distance just toooooo far. Why oh why didn't I carry the phone to the bathroom with me??? Oh, I know...because I could possibly look like to world's biggest dumbass to anyone I call to HELP ME OUT OF THE TOILET!!! Wait, wait...I have dogs!! Those dogs on Animal Planet help people with everything!!! Wonderful, beautiful, big dogs!!! Call in the dogs...darn it, Sacha (the maltese queen), stop trying to start a fight with the boxers in this really small bathroom with me trapped in the toilet!! Ok, so drive vicious Sach back and trap her by the toilet with the garbage can. Entice Lucy over, grab the collar...and she sits. Encourage her to stand and pull!! Oh, great, finally all that training on not pulling is taking hold and she just sits, then lays. Ok...Victor!! He's young, stupid, hasn't had much no leash pulling training!! Get him over, grab the collar...aaaaaaaand, he sits...then lays. Stupid dogs!! Butt's really cooooold now. Begin to wonder if DH flushed...EEEEEWWWWWW!! Can't tell. Thoughts of possible escapes flutter around. None seem viable!! I'm sandwiched into a V...butt cold...unknown water quality that I am stuck in. ****!!! I grab both boxer collars, suck in big breath of air, and PULLLLLLLL!!! OOOOOOUUUUUCCCCCHHHHH!!!! But, splish splash, I'm out!! Kind of rolling, head first into the vanity...but out!!! Grab a towel, dry off. Get onto knees, say quick prayer and flip on light...WATER IS CLEAN!!!! Breathe sigh of relief, flip down ring...and finish my buisiness. Only me...

I think I might have hurt something. I called and talked to the nurse at the dr's office. She told me to vicodin on up and watch for weird swelling and/or bleeding/seepage. Tummy nice and swoooooollen again...I'm so stupid. The nurse also told me that I am *not* the first person this has happened to LOL!!

Well, laugh with me if you can...isn't it the best medicine??
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Unread 03-12-2004, 09:05 PM
HELP I've fallen [in] and I can't get up!!

I hope you do not sufffer any damage from your mishap.
I am sorry that you had such a terrible potty experience...I hope you are not too traumatized....And you thought potty training was bad....
Please forgive me, but I am laughing.....Thanks for the chuckles...
Unread 03-12-2004, 09:06 PM
HELP I've fallen [in] and I can't get up!!

Hi Julie !
Ok, I am laughing with you ! Hoping that you are fine and just jolted a bit isnt your fault and your not a dumbass lol
hubby didnt put the rim down ahhhhhhhhhhhhh smack him !!!!
....i dont know if i could have gotten myself out of there if it was me lol wrote this really well !
i felt like i was with you there ...
rest and pamper yourself tonight , hopefully it will be A-Ok
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Unread 03-12-2004, 10:01 PM
HELP I've fallen [in] and I can't get up!!

Have you ever thought about writing for a living? I hope that you are ok. Thanks for sharing.
Take care,
Unread 03-13-2004, 03:01 AM
HELP I've fallen [in] and I can't get up!!

Sweetie such literary talent should not be wasted ...Well done!
I hope the only thing you hurt was your ego. Take care of yourself.
Unread 03-13-2004, 05:08 AM
HELP I've fallen [in] and I can't get up!!

THAT was funny. Great way to make light of a possibly bad situation. My dh is a EMT and I could not even think of what it may have felt like to be in your position if you had to call the fire dept. to come save you from your swirling despair. ALthough I hope you didn't injure yourself, take it easy and tell your dh to use the guest restroom until he learns how to put that seat down. Heid
Unread 03-13-2004, 06:59 AM
HELP I've fallen [in] and I can't get up!!

Hi! I really enjoyed reading this. Made my day!! I am so glad that you are ok. Take care and GOd bless you as you recover! Deb
Unread 03-13-2004, 07:14 AM
HELP I've fallen [in] and I can't get up!!

I believe I would banish DH to the outhouse!! Let him freeze his tushy for a while!!!

Sorry for your mishap! Hope you are feeling much better today!!

Unread 03-13-2004, 11:41 AM
HELP I've fallen [in] and I can't get up!!

I hope your ok. I have had that happen when i hadn't had surgery and it wasn't a whole lot better. I have to admit your writing style did have me laughing. But you know what they say laughter is the best medicine. And now you have something to hold over DH head. Every time he starts in about something just say well at least i ....... one time of finishing that sentence will be all it will take... use it while it works. I know I would. Take care and hope that there are no problems from it.


TVH/BSO 3/5/04
Unread 03-13-2004, 12:29 PM
HELP I've fallen [in] and I can't get up!!

Thanks for posting this! It really made me laugh, and now I hurt!

Hope you are okay, and continue to keep your sense of humour.

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