No support from family | HysterSisters
HysterSisters Hysterectomy Support and Information
Advertising Info HysterSisters Hysterectomy Support Tutorial

Go Back   Hysterectomy HysterSisters > Hysterectomy Support Posts > Hysterectomy Recovery (post hysterectomy)


HysterSisters.com is a massive online community with over 475,000 members and over 5 million posts.

Our community is filled with women who have been through the Hysterectomy experience providing both advice and support from our active members and moderators.

HysterSisters.com is located at 111 Peter St, Toronto, Canada, M5V2H1 and is part of the VerticalScope network of websites.

With free registration, you can ask and answer questions in our HYSTERECTOMY forum community, get our FREE BOOKLET, access Hysterectomy Checkpoints and more.

You are not alone. The HysterSisters are here for you. Join us today!
join HysterSisters for hysterectomy resources and support
Reply

No support from family No support from family

Thread Tools
  #1  
Unread 03-14-2004, 06:56 PM
No support from family

I feel so lonely and unwanted. Not by my DH or DS's although they do have their moments. Right now I'm really upset with my father, mother, sister, aunts and cousins. I've gotten more calls from neighbors and co-workers asking if I need anything. I have had no visitors from my family. My mother did break her foot 2 days after my surgery which of course made what I had done insignificant. My father only called to tell me about my mother, never asking about me. My sister and husband went to visit my mother in the hospital and while they were in the city I figured they would come see me at home. Nope. Why do I have to call them? I'm the one recovering. I guess they think this surgery was no big deal. I don't know why I thought things would change. They didn't even send me a card or flowers or anything. I am so hurt. If it wasn't for my DH and DS's, I'd be all alone. What is wrong with people. The other night I called my mother when she came home from the hospital and she actually had the nerve to ask ME if I was going to visit HER. My father has no reason to call me since my mother is home now.

I just feel abandoned along with all the hurt. I can't seem to stop crying about it.
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
  #2  
Unread 03-14-2004, 07:02 PM
No support from family

Gemini,

Sorry for your pain! Sometimes we seem to get more comfort from friends more than family. I guess the best thing to do , is to appreciate your friends and thank God for them. I have often felt that if it wasn't for my dear friends, I don't know what I would do. They are usually the ones who are there for me when troubles come. May God bless you as you recover .
  #3  
Unread 03-14-2004, 07:03 PM
No support from family

Phyllis:

I am so saddened to hear about how your family is treating you right now! It's a terrible thing when we are hurting and can't turn to our family. BUT remember that you have a great family of your own--one that you created and one that seems to be helping you. Focus on that. Don't let the bad feelings with other family members hurt your recovery.

We always hope that our sisters and mothers will be there for us and will understand in moments like these. I am sorry that hasn't happened for you. Take heart in the fact that almost 40,000 other sisters ARE here for you.

Vent when you need to, cry when you must, and focus on the good people in your life. Take care of yourself first.
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
  #4  
Unread 03-14-2004, 07:36 PM
No support from family

aaaaaaw, Phyllis!! big hugs!

man, I could've written that post, except my mom didn't break her foot.

What I have to do, and encourage you to do, is look at what you DO have! God, I love my church family! they were and still are so amazing with their love, prayers, phone calls, friendship and FOOD! my biological family never came to see me, still hasn't come to see me, and you know what? it's okay. because it's not about ME. it's about the way they are built.

count your blessings on what you do have and really try not to take this personally. I wish bio families would be more supportive, and I love hearing about those who are.
  #5  
Unread 03-14-2004, 09:08 PM
No support from family

Im so sorry about that ..
(((HUGS)))
it feels terrible to be shoved aside so by family . My friend got chicken pox ( unlrlated to this forum ) during the chinese new year .. and her mom was not pleased that she wsnt going to attend the dinner at her place

Sometimes you wonder ...

mei
  #6  
Unread 03-15-2004, 02:30 AM
No support from family

Hello

There is a saying:
"You can choose your friends, but not your family".

Says it all, don't you think!

I'm sorry though that your family seems/is so unconcerned about you. I feel for you!

Take comfort from your friends, DH and DS's!

Loekie
Lincoln, UK
  #7  
Unread 03-15-2004, 05:16 AM
No support from family

I'm so sorry your family is acting the way they are. Remember a previous post that you have tons of new "sisters" right here to offer all of the support we can possibly give you! Lean on those who are supportive and remember their support. Concentrate on yourself and your recovery. By the way, I'm also a Gemini.
  #8  
Unread 03-15-2004, 05:40 AM
You are Blessec

Please know that in the Grand Scheme of things you are blessed.


I understand how it feels to not be acknowledged by your family, it will get better, this will pass. Just know that you are more than appreciated by your extended family and just sharing your experiences with us helps all of us in one way or another. Your courage to say, "what about me" gives someone else who would never have it otherwise the strength to say to themselves "it's is okay to feel that way" like me.

Thank you for being brave enough to share those thoughts and feelings.

DivaStar



3 days to go
  #9  
Unread 03-16-2004, 10:39 AM
thanks

Thanks. Well I broke down and called my mother to see how she was doing, but I refuse to call my sister. There is absolutely nothing wrong with her for her not to call. My father answered the phone and said "oh, hi, I'll put your mother on". What did I do to him. Nothing. I've always been there for them. I don't understand any of this. I was informed by my mother that my sister and brother-in-law are going to visit her tonight. Really nice, huh? Then my mother launches into herself. With the
"by the way, how do you feel" comment.

I know this sounds heartless and I really don't mean to be, but I had a bone removed and over 25 stitches on the outside and I don't know how many inside in my (right) foot 3 years ago after being in a cast for 12 weeks (couldn't drive because the cast was up to my knee and couldn't bend it) because a fracture wasn't healing. Trust me, there is no comparison with the way you feel. I was in a lot of pain, but it localized to that one area. Obviously, my children were younger and I had to do everything. My mother acts like she's 100 and she's only 63. I even think the cast she has is the removable one. Mine wasn't. I'm not trying to compare injuries with my mother. I just want her to be there for me for once in her life. I say I'm in pain, her pain is always worse and on and on.

The more I write about this the more upset I become. Don't they realize what has been done to me? They are acting like I had a tooth pulled.
  #10  
Unread 03-16-2004, 11:02 AM
No support from family

Phyllis, I am so sorry you are having to go through this without the support of your parents & siblings. I think a statement you made in your last post may tell the reason for their lack of concern. I DON'T think they understand what you have been through. Until my gyn said that I might need a hyst, and I found this great site, I had no idea what it was all about either. When the gyn told me that a hyst might be needed, I thought, “OK ~ no big deal! I had foot surgery years ago, and I made it through that without too much problem.” Since then, I found this site, and found out how very naïve I was!
I know this can’t take away the feeling of rejection that you have, but maybe it will give you a little insight into why they might be so insensitive.
Reply

booklet
Our Free Booklet
What 350,000 Women Know About Hysterectomy: Information, helpful hints as you prepare and recover from hysterectomy.
Answers to your questions
Register




Thread Tools

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
From This Forum From Other Forums
15 Replies, Last Reply 03-04-2010, Started By eirold
27 Replies, Last Reply 09-25-2006, Started By bianca417
17 Replies, Last Reply 09-15-2006, Started By PattiCakes70
4 Replies, Last Reply 08-15-2006, Started By allnamesRtaken
2 Replies, Last Reply 03-28-2005, Started By lilymae44
9 Replies, Last Reply 03-18-2005, Started By immabluefish
1 Reply, Last Reply 12-29-2004, Started By blizzak
2 Replies, Last Reply 11-22-2004, Started By TracyLee516
0 Reply, Started By wtrmln
8 Replies, Last Reply 10-02-2004, Started By soon2bprincess
8 Replies, Preparing for Hysterectomy (pre hysterectomy)
8 Replies, Preparing for Hysterectomy (pre hysterectomy)
22 Replies, Preparing for Hysterectomy (pre hysterectomy)
14 Replies, Preparing for Hysterectomy (pre hysterectomy)
20 Replies, Preparing for Hysterectomy (pre hysterectomy)
9 Replies, Preparing for Hysterectomy (pre hysterectomy)
5 Replies, Preparing for Hysterectomy (pre hysterectomy)
6 Replies, Preparing for Hysterectomy (pre hysterectomy)
14 Replies, Preparing for Hysterectomy (pre hysterectomy)
4 Replies, Preparing for Hysterectomy (pre hysterectomy)



Advertisement

Hysterectomy News

July 30,2021

CURRENT NEWS

HysterSisters Takes On Partner To Manage Continued Growth And Longevity
I have news that is wonderful and exciting! This week’s migration wasn’t a typical migration - from one set ... News Archive

TODAY'S EVENTS

Calendar - Hysterectomies - Birthdays


Request Information


I am a HysterSister

HYSTERECTOMY STORIES

Featured Story - All Stories - Share Yours

FOLLOW US


Your Hysterectomy Date


CUSTOMIZE Your Browsing  


$vbulletin->featuredvideos is not an array!
Advertisement


Advertisement