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I got my results!!!! I got my results!!!!

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Unread 03-17-2004, 02:59 PM
I got my results!!!!

Well girls , my results are in from the cervical biopsy!
I'm O.K. for now there was no precancer on the back of my cervix, he said that for now as long as I continue w/ my check ups regularly that I don't have to decide right now to have a hyster.
Eventually my cycles will be harder to deal w/ and every time a bad pap comes it will be a difficult time because they will want to put me under and do a biopsy to the back of my cervix if they have a concern. He said I have time!
Most importantly He said that I will be able to carry a pregnancy, that even w/ the scar tissue I will have less than a 10% chance of having to loop the cervix. He did however tell me that getting pregnant will be the hardest part, because of the scar tissue.

So girls help me, I was o.k. w/the fact that 1 child may be all that god intended for me, but was still hurting because of having to give that choice up. I want another so badly, even though my timing bites. I'm going thru hard times.
I was content to go to nursing school in about 2 yr's but if I have another child that time will be much further away!
How sad will life be if I lived the rest of it for just me, giving life to another and raising 2 children seems more rewarding if given the chance.

I'm so confused, and happy about my results all at the same time!
Any advice out there for a young mother w/ a second chance?
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Unread 03-17-2004, 03:24 PM
I got my results!!!!


I had a LEEP cone after a diagnosis of CIS (went from normal to CIS in 11 months). I'm one of those people who has had HPV for at least 8 years but no symptoms. I have no children. The fact that this could take away my ability to have children (which I may or may not have anyway) has been devastating to me. I chose the road of deciding to get an education (all the way through graduate school) instead of having children - even though I have been married for 5+ years and with my husband for 8.5. Right now, I'm regreting that decision. There is always time to go back to school but my choice to follow a career could have cost me the ability to have a family. So anyway, I can't tell you what to do but right now I regret that I chose to go to school and not to have a family.
Unread 03-17-2004, 03:25 PM
I got my results!!!!

P.S. Congratulations on the biopsy! I'm jealous, I can't imagine what a wreck I'm going to be before I have to go in for my first post CIS pap the end of June.
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Unread 03-17-2004, 10:21 PM
I got my results!!!!

I was a very young mother, by the time I was 38 both of my children were in college. The thing I regret the most is that I should have gotten my education first. It would have been easier fiancially for my children and myself. Instead I started college when I turned 40 and I will finally graduate December of this year, I should have graduated in May but took the semester off for surgery and recovery. So my advise to you is to follow your gut instincts not your heart/ only you know which ones which.

Unread 03-18-2004, 09:50 AM

Thanks so much for the input , you're both right! It's a decision only I know is best for me.
I'm 26 yrs old, if I had another child I'd be 40 before I felt comfortable w/ going to further my education. However, that only if I end up a single mother of two. My other half wants a child but the responsibility scares him, he didn't have a good home life. His grandparents pretty much raised him. He and his mother don't really speak , she tries to keep in contact but he feels it's too late to resolve. I am worried, cause they say a good man loves his mother , but he hasn't once tried to care. He's really bitter about her! He has no sympathy for her health, because of the amount of drugs she did he feels she did it to herself, wich is true but as we all know we make bad choices, some people get hooked on things and can't quit! Like myself, here I've had all my problems w/ cancer and I still smoke cigarrettes. I'm scared that he doesn't want to take the risk and responsibility of a child. He wants one of his own, but his pattern in life is that he backs down w/ responsibility. He's a good kind man to me w/ his own problems but we all come w/ our own baggage! I can deal w/ his. I want to have a child w/ him. I can honestly say that I havn't looked at another man and had dirty thoughts , cause I'm content more than I've every been at home.
Unread 03-18-2004, 01:38 PM
I got my results!!!!

Are you married to this man? Has he made a committment to you and your son?

In my opinion a child deserves parents who are committed to each other and to him. If your guy doesn't want a child, for whatever reason, don't have one with him. It's really not fair to anyone, him, you, or the child. As Dr.Phil says, the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. If your bf doesn't handle responsibility well, then he's not prepared to be a parent. There is NO bigger responsibility in life and it lasts for a lifetime! Yes, everyone has some baggage but until he is comfortable with his, it's not fair to make a child carry his baggage.

You can't force him to resolve his relationship with his mother. That may, or may not, happen. But it's his decision and whatever he decides is right for him. You didn't live his life, so you can't decide how he should be living it now. I know it's hard, but try to stay out of it, and let him resolve it on his own time, or not resolve it.

It doesn't sound like this man is ready to have a child and I don't think that's fair to a child to have a father who isn't prepared to be a father to him. I understand your desire to have another child but you must put that child's welfare first. This just doesn't sound like the right man, or the right time, to bring a child into the world.

That's my 2 cents worth.

Hugs and caring,
Unread 03-19-2004, 07:53 AM

You have a valid point, he is just a boyfriend and he's really good with my daughter. He plays w/ her outside and comes up with good activitys for all of us to do together. He'd make a good father however he's been a bachelor for so long, and he's trying to start his own business right now. All this came at a bad time!
I know he's a good man, that has made some irresponsible decisions in his life. You have a valid point however , even thought I seen the man he could be that's not the man he is! He's lived his life for himself, without worry for any one else. He's done really well w/ me and my child and ex-husband. He's making improvments.
All of this means though that he's not ready right now and I feel as if I'm on borrowed time! Sure life would be much easier w/ 1 child and I could go to nursing school and make really good money. My lifestyle has been determined I feel by the choices I made early on, money is not everything and raising a child takes that but the bare essentials, love and faith is all it really takes to raise a good human being w/ that the child knows early in life that if you want something you have to work hard and go for it.
You're parents don't have to have been wealthy for you to become a dr. or even Donald Trump. I feel how empty would life be to just live to become a RN and make good money. Raising a good human being to me is worth more than all the material things in life, don't get me wrong I love to have nice things and be able to buy something just cause I want it, but I'm used to struggles. That's my opinion!
Unread 03-21-2004, 08:16 PM
I got my results!!!!

I got married the last semesters in college. I was 35. 3 months later i found out I was pregnant. A month later I found out I had a rare form of cervical cancer and had to have ahyst. The first dr wated to terminate pregnacey and do it NOW, we found a dr that chose life then hyst. I had complications with the pregnancy because i had diabetes 1 before it happened. I spend a right many times in the hospital and yet graduated with honors. Then we we went home to Fla for family support and found a gyn/oc that chose life then hyst. He did the hyst at 29 also early due to compolications. This is my first and only childl with my husband and I do not regret having my son. He is the joy in life.He has preemie problems and we both survivied thru a horrible ordeal in the hospital. I still have problems due to the hyst 2 1/2 years ago, but I would do it again if I could still have my son.

The pregnancy came at a very bad time, the cancer came at a bad time, we all know things happen in God's time. Sometimes things just happen, the good and the bad. If I had a second chance I would take it. Good luck to you and your husband great on the good news!!
Unread 03-22-2004, 08:06 AM

I commend you on the struggles you've faced and rose above.
Wow, college, cancer, pregnancy, and honors!! What a women!!

I'd like to be able to juggle several things at once, I can if they're
small everyday tribulations. However, school was never easy for me and I use raising my daughter as an excuse not to attend school while she's still too young to be at home by herself. My time is short though she's almost ten now, and I'm scared of being a failure. If I continue making excuses than I can keep saying that one day I will, but if I go for it and fail than there aren't any more dreams to hold on to.
I pretty smart in the fact that I know I make excuses, and readily admit it, I don't know what else to do about it.
I can't handle too many big deals going on in my life, I worry that I'll be struggling so hard w/ my homework that I won't have time for my daughters. I worry w/ the crazy hrs. involved w/ nursing school that I will miss something really important in her life. I know as a parent that if my daughter see's that I'm working hard for something and working thru the struggles that when she's an adult she'll respect me for the hard work I went for, but as a child I don't think she'll be to concerned about any one but herself when she's struggling and needs her mothers attention and time!
She's a good student, and very sweet, but a child all the same!
Confused about life, wondering when the answers are revealed to all the tests I've taken, and wishing I made a passing grade on at least 1!

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