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I am a scared Newbie!!! I am a scared Newbie!!!

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Unread 03-25-2004, 04:48 AM
I am a scared Newbie!!!

I am having surgery in the a.m and am a nervous wreak. I have been diagnoised with CIN III and am having a LEEP done. Per my doctor everything is routine. I have talked to so many women and been researching the web on CIN III and it sounds more serious than my doctor sez. He says by doing the surgery about 85% of patients get all the dysplasia out. I heard from others a partial or full hysterectomy is in order. I am done having children so I have no use for parts that may very well do me in. I am 43 years old and I cant ever remembering being this scared about anything. I went to him to deliver my daughter who is 6 year old and had a CIN 1 after I gave birth to her. I went to another Ob/Gyn and had my 4 year old delivered and went back and had a clean pap smear 1 year later. I hadnt gone back to have one due to work and kids. My pelvic area was getting sore and my periods were heavy after having a tubal ligation after my 4 year old was born. Went back to my original doctor and my pap came back positve. Had the colcoscopy and came back with CINIII. My doctor showed me my Pathtology Microscope pictures today and it looks worse than the medical text book he was comparing it to. I asked him why woundn't cancer cells show up on my blood test he just took. He just said it wouldnt. I came here because I am thinking you all are pretty smart women who have been there and back. Yes the waiting is killing me. He said it will be 2 days before the results come back. I am so stressed. I cleaned my whole house today because he said I will be home for 1 week and he doesnt want me to do anything at all. HELP!!!! .......LINDA in Hawaii
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Unread 03-25-2004, 06:18 AM
I am a scared Newbie!!!

Hi, Linda, and welcome.

My experience was totally different than yours (I had ov cancer). Until I joined this group, I never heard of LEEP's or CIN's.

Nevertheless, I certainly identify with your feeling scared. This is a tough thing to go through but you've got a lot of really wonderful women who are walking this road with you. We'll help you however we can. No matter what, you'll be fine. In fact, it helps to remind yourself that you're doing what needs to be done so that you can by completely healthy.

One thing that I would suggest is to see a gyn onc (if you're not already doing that). They're the experts that you want to see when there's a possibility of cancer.

(I laughed when I read that you cleaned your whole house. We do react differently to stress! I went in the opposite direction. When I was going through surgery and treatment I actually let my dh do the cleaning! lol)
Unread 03-25-2004, 06:23 AM
I am a scared Newbie!!!


Sorry that you are dealing with all this....the waiting is so hard!

My cancer was endometrial, so I'm not well-versed in what you're experiencing. But other women on this site will be along to share their experience and info, I'm sure.

Know that we all are keeping you in thought and prayer.

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Unread 03-25-2004, 09:24 AM
Hi Linda

Your situation sounds similar to mine and we are the same age. I had a LEEP done after a history of abnormal paps. The procedure itself wasn't that bad and went very quickly. I am told that most of the time, they are able to remove the dysplasia with this procedure. In my case, the LEEP diagnosed adenocarcinoma, so I'm very happy that my doc performed the procedure. I ended up having a cone biopsy and then a TAH after that. I had a six month check up this past September and everything was fine...pap was normal again! I have had a few friends who have had dysplasia and it was corrected with a LEEP procedure and/or cone biopsy, so don't worry about having a hyst just yet. I can totally understand your fear....we've all been there, but you'll get through it!!! Best wishes to you

Unread 03-25-2004, 10:07 AM
I am a scared Newbie!!!

Dear Linda,
I'm so glad you found this site! The women here are amazingly supportive. They've been helping me get through a really rough time in my healing process. I had endometrial cancer.

Waiting for test results is always awful for me, also. I mean, I doubt anyone likes it, but I mean I'm one of those who gets ultra-stressed by it.

It sounds like your DX and treatment is moving quite fast. Almost too fast! You're having the LEEP tomorrow morning? The following is not to be taken as me telling you what to do, only something to consider: If you're not comfortable with your ob/gyn doing the LEEP right away, you could consider postponing it and contacting a gynecological oncologist. Just my two cents, though.

For me, I had to wait a long time between my DX and the actual surgery, because at the time I had no insurance. The romantic part of the story is that my boyfriend 'swept me off my feet' and asked me to marry him right away, since his insurance doesn't have a pre-existing condition clause. One of our jokes now is that "It Was A Marriage Of Convenience." LOL! But actually we had planned to get formally engaged after his daughter gets married this spring and have our wedding the year after. So he never worries that there is any truth to our joke. He knows I love him through and through. (I'm 42, by the way -- you & I are practically the same age.)

Anyway the very unromantic part of having to wait for my surgery was that I was extremely worried that the cancer would progress in the meantime. So in a way I envy your getting the surgery just days after your diagnosis. I had a hysterectomy, since the cancer was in the lining of the endometrium. I know there are others here who have had the LEEP procedure done, though, and I'm hoping one of them will see your post today.

And wishing you the very, very best!
Unread 03-25-2004, 10:20 AM
Hi Linda

The waiting is literally the worst because that's when all the "but's" and "what if's" come to mind. I have ovarian so I can't directly help, but I can assure you that the wait is hard. I worked very hard so that I had just about everything done at work and the area spic and span and I left my house with one thing in the clothes chute and the trash out early. 4 a.m. the morning of surgery I'm wide awake and up cleaning and washing... We all react nervously and differently. The suggestion that you contact a gynecologic oncologist is an excellent one. These specialists are the ones to have when there's a possibility or confirmation of cancer. Can you get a consult in time? We know where you are right now and here's another little piece of advice--treat yourself to something special--either a little thing each day or one nice thing. You deserve it!
Unread 03-25-2004, 11:03 AM
I am a scared Newbie!!!

Dear Linda,
I know how you feel as I have a very similar situation to yours. I had a CIN III PAP and a CIN I PAP upon follow up. Unfortunately, 2 rounds of cervical biopsies showed nothing, but I went ahead with the recommended Leep anyway. I had the surgery 2/19/04 and the procedure wasn't bad at all. The dr. took more tissue than normal because I am done having children. The tissue showed CIN I and CIN II. The margins weren't clear, CIN I extended to the margins of the endocervical canal, but even at that the dr. says that he believes that I have a 90 percent chance of no recurrence because he burned the edges after the sample was taken. I will have my first PAP post Leep on 6/21. I feel that the Leep is a good choice for me because of the close follow up that is recommended following this procedure. If the dysplasia is still present it will present again upon another PAP and then I can either have another treatment if the dysplasia is mild, or a hysterectomy if it is severe. For me it is worth a shot to see if this will take care of the problem. This is very scary for me too. I am sure that you will be fine and I'm glad to hear that they are following up in a diligent and timely manner with you. I'm around the same age as you, I'm 40. I'm saying a prayer for you. Hang in there because I believe that you will come safely through everything you are going through.
Unread 03-25-2004, 05:08 PM
I am a scared Newbie!!!

I too had a LEEP for CIN III/CIS. Because I am younger (32) and have not yet have children, I wanted something that would preserve my fertility. My doctor also treated it like it was no big deal. After my LEEP my margins were clear (the endocervical piece had no dysplasia at all). The doctor is confident that she removed it all. But the waiting is the worst part - I won't have my first follow-up pap until 6/23.

I'm surprised that your Doctor told you you will need to take the whole week off. The LEEP is really a pretty minor procedure. Mine ended up being pretty painful (because I'm resistant to the lidocane they use) but it was still a quick procedure. The first day was kind of bad but I think that it was less physical pain than just emotional overload from having the procedure done. I was perfectly able to work by the second day (day after surgery) and other than a nasty discharge for the first two weeks, I felt completely normal by day 3.

One thing, you are not allowed to have sex for 4 weeks or insert anything into the vagina. I'm now a little more than 5 weeks out and I still haven't been able to emotionally let myself have sex. I just keep worrying that I will injure myself and cause more scar tissue. However, I think this may be just a hang up I have. Of course, my husband is desperately trying to convince me that I'm now fine.

I think that you are making a good choice to have the LEEP. The literature shows that if you have dysplasia that can be reached by the LEEP, your chances of being cured (assuming your margins are clear) are as good as if you have a hysterectomy. Although I'm doing everything I can to avoid a hysterectomy because of the children thing, it still seems like being uncomfortable for an afternoon is much better than being out for 6+ weeks when the results are the same.

I wish you luck.
Unread 03-25-2004, 07:24 PM
Thank you for destressing me

I had the procedure done this morning and afterward felt like I was having bad cramping. It reminded me of labor pains. Lets just say my heating pad has become my new best friend. I didn't think I would need any follow up meds but I did. He gave me Vicodin. So due to lackof sleep because of the stress, I am prettty doppy. My doctor who is an OB/Oncologist seemed to be very hopeful and not very worried. I wont know my results or the outcome until Monday. We have a state holiday on Friday here in Hawaii and I think the Pathology Department at the hospital needs a Holiday off too. More waiting and stress. Yes my doctor said no sex, tampons, or baths or douches for 1 month. He said bed rest or taking it very easy for 1 week due to bleeding. He said hemmoraging can be much more common than most people think. When I was first diagnoised about 2 weeks ago I put it off ....out of site out of mind. I wish I hadn't ..it made me more scared. If for some chance I am suppose to have any other procedure done ...I am having it right away. Not work , family obligations or anything is worth going through all the stress I have been under these past 2 weeks. I am so happy to have found this web site. You all have helped put my mind somewhat at ease and made things easier for me to understand. I truly thank you or this. My husband did tell me that our 6 year old daughter voiced to him that she was scared I wouldnt come home and that she had a dream that I was losing my hair. Needles to say she was overwhelmed to see me coming through my door. I told her mommy was still here and I would let her know if anything was going to be this serious in our lives. I have to remember she is really all ears right now and any talking by me, talking on the phone in front of her is not a good idea. She is super sensitive. Thanks you again for all your inputs. I will be keeping you updated ..... love and blessings ... LINDA
Unread 03-26-2004, 07:15 AM
I am a scared Newbie!!!

Dear Linda,
So glad to hear that your procedure is complete. I will keep you in my prayers because the waiting is very much the hardest part. You are fortunate that you will hear so soon. My dr. said that he wouldn't be calling me unless there was anything other than a CIN diagnosis. I guess he figured that he could inform me at the 2 week check-up. I decided during this time that I wanted to know. I called the dr.'s office and left a message, but he never got back to me. For this reason, and because I don't feel overly comfortable with him, I am seeing another gynecologist in another week to see if there if someone else that will listen to me better.

Take care! I am sure that you will be fine.

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