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Unread 03-30-2004, 09:09 PM
sad tonight

Hi girls. I'm in such a mood tonight. I don't know how to explain exactly. I was just cutting out some little dresses to sew for my wee one year old, and I just stopped in the middle of one and became so sad. I will never use the newborn size pattern again. She's already in a large, and she's growing and changing so fast. I have four kids age nine and under, and I feel truly blessed, so please don't feel that I'm complaining. Financially and physically, we can't have any more anyway, but I crave that sweet feeling of cradling a newborn in my arms, of the sweet smell at the top of their head after their bath- oh gosh I'm crying now. I'm sorry. This probably seems very insensitive to those who can't have kids at all. I just feel so sad and alone tonight. Dh is working again, and kids are in bed. I wish I could sleep, but I don't seem to have much luck in that department lately. Am I nuts to feel this way? Dh doesn't understand.
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Unread 03-30-2004, 09:16 PM
sad tonight

Dear precious ((Lass2))!

Save those patterns! Don't laugh--you'll have more newborns in your arms. I'll bet you'll be a grandma before you know it.
Unread 03-30-2004, 09:17 PM
sad tonight

Hi! I think your feelings are completely normal! I, too, have a one year old (14 months to be exact). He is number 3 and we knew we were done before the hyst (dh had a vasectomy last March...boy wasn't he bummed to find out he didn't need the vasectomy!). I understand what you are feeling, but I think that everyone goes through those aches of not having a newborn again, even though we really aren't going to go down that road again. It's the thought that you couldn't if you wanted to that is what gets you most. Don't feel abnormal about those feelings. It's sad that you can't preserve babyhood as they grow they all grow just too fast!! Hugs to you!

Tami, lvh 1/9/04
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Unread 03-30-2004, 09:20 PM
sad tonight

Lass, I understand. I have been blessed with one son who is 10. I was told 12 years ago I could not have any, so he is a blessing indeed! I so wanted more. Even just one more. There are those that say, I am blessed to have the one. And yes I know. But oh how to nurse and cuddle like that again. Every stage he goes through although brings happiness, also brings some tears if only I could have given him a brother or a sister. If only...I could love a baby once more.
I know, I feel it too.
Blessings sister.
Unread 03-30-2004, 09:36 PM
sad tonight

I understand what you are going through, I had those same thoughts and feelings before I had my hyst. No you are not crazy, you are normal. I'm sure most of us (those with and without children) have had those very same thoughts. But in my case the surgery was better than spending the rest of my life in pain (I'm only 37), I am 5 mo. post op and feel GREAT....besides, I couldn't have any more children, the last child almost killed us both. I just thank god everyday for the ones I do have.

I have 3 children ages 9, 10, and 17. My oldest is at the end of her Junior year in High School, she just got her first job and is a licenced driver. Everyday I realize how much she is growing up and will be leaving for college in August of next year....that doesn't seem so far away anymore. I start to wish I could have another child....I'm not ready for them to grow up, and leave me.

But I realize that my life isn't over because I had a hyst., I now get to enjoy every month without a visitor and no longer have to schedule vacations around my period or my pain.

God bless you and a BIG to help you through this sad time.
Unread 03-30-2004, 09:49 PM

I too understand your feeling on this. I have two boys 9 and 10. And I can not image my life without them. I would give anything to have a newborn. I have recently married (1 year and 4 months) a wonderful man and would love to be able to have a baby with him. He says that it does not matter to him, I can't seem to make him understand that it matters to me. I am 1 year and 10 months post op and still can't hold a newborn---I cant hardly watch one on tv commercials and not cry. Glad to have other women to talk to that really understand what I feel.

Have a great day.
Unread 03-30-2004, 10:07 PM
sad tonight

Thanks girls! Your comments really helped. It's good to talk to people who really understand what I'm going through! I was surprised to hear back from you all so soon when I really needed the support. I feel better now. I guess we all go through those awful ups and downs. Lots of hugs and thank you kisses to all my sisters out there!
Unread 03-30-2004, 10:24 PM
sad tonight

My surgery is tomorrow and a friend of ours is due to have her baby any day now at the same hospital. I can't quit crying. I am happy for them, but I feel part of my life is going to be over tomorrow. I'm 42, but I don't feel that old. I have four wonderful kids and I really don't want any more, but when you know you won't be able to, it tears you up. Just needed someone to talk to.
Unread 03-30-2004, 10:45 PM
sad tonight

This is sooo weird,, About 1 hour ago, I finally verbalized how I feel about this to my DBF, although I have thought it for some time, But didn't want HIM to feel that way too..I admitted to him that 2 nites ago, I got really sad and cried thinking about the FINALITY of never giving birth again EVER in this lifetime~~ I am one of the most MATERNAL people you'd ever meet.. Pediatric Nurse, kids of my own, had a daycare,, etc.. etc.. And yes, the most wonderful thing ever was when I had a newborn at the breast. My DBF and I would have loved to have just ONE baby together.. But I am sure we'll get past this.. He was SOOO Understanding and tried to tell me that we no doubt would not have had them together anyway, cuz we'd be too old as parents!, etc... I guess alot of us go through this, and it sort of hits you out of the blue, doesnt it?? It certainly isn't the same as getting a "gallbladder" out or something impersonal like that..
Hugs to ALL,,,, Kathie
Unread 03-30-2004, 11:08 PM
sad tonight

I had been doing pretty good and then reality hit....What a boom.
Oh well, at least I am not alone. I feel lucky every day about having healthy, energetic kids and shouldn't feel sorry for myself. I need to do everything possible to make sure I stay around so they have someone to gripe too.

Thanks for your reply, just knowing someone is out there helps.

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