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bad relationship problems 2 weeks postop bad relationship problems 2 weeks postop

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  #1  
Unread 03-31-2004, 03:37 PM
bad relationship problems 2 weeks postop

I was just wondering if any of you ever had problems with your relationship after your surgery? Mine has gotten so bad and I feel as most of it is my fault. We had problems prior to the surgery but everything was getting so much better. Then it just all went down hill. I felt as if I was a burden on everyone and him. We had fights just about everynight since I came home and now we are seperated. I have 3 kids my youngest being 19months. We were suppose to get married in Sept. and now that is off. We are talking and trying to work this out. My mom quit helping me with the baby 1 week post op so I have been left to take care of everything since then. DB is so wonderful and cares so much for me and the kids. I just felt that I was putting to much on him and that caused our fights. He kept telling me he was doing everything for me because he loved me and wanted to do it. I was just in to much denial of it. So now I am REALLY alone in all this. I am on PREMARIN 1.25 and they seem to be doing ok. I am not depressed that much and have energy so Idon't think it is that doing it. Anyone with any suggestions please let me know. Thanks for letting me pour it out to you.


I am 2 1/2 weeks post op of TAH/BSO surgery was on march 12th 2004
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  #2  
Unread 03-31-2004, 03:45 PM
bad relationship problems 2 weeks postop

hi

I,m so sorry ur going through all this on top of ur op, i don,t know how to make u feel better, our loved ones don,t like to c us like this, in pain, i av been stayin with my ex hubby and my daughter, an they have been wonderful, but my hubby said the other day i put on him emotionaly, an it,s draining, i suppose i do, we have so many up and down days, the pain etc, i,m sure ur relationship will be ok, it,s just a lot for u both just now, i,m sorry ur mom left u to it with ur children to manage alone, ive never had my mom 4 support, but i do have my dd, i hope things get better for u and your boyfriend, here for u if needed ok, take care
  #3  
Unread 04-01-2004, 06:59 AM
bad relationship problems 2 weeks postop

Unfortunately, if you had problems before, something as huge as this surgery could add to the strain but you say things were getting better & it does sound as if the man wanted to help so take him at his word & LET HIM HELP... wouldn't you do the same for him? I like to think that people wouldn't offer if they didn't WANT to. I, too, was in a sort of denial because I think I can take care of everything & prefer to do things for myself but my younger sis told me to just suck it up & take the help that people offered. Luckily, my man is the best & my son is 25 years old so I had the help when I needed it, though I do as much as I can without overdoing it. This is not your "fault". You needed major surgery & your hormones & emotions are everywhere. I hope your man is understanding of those things. If you love each other it will all work out. It really is that simple, though working on a relationship is a difficult process. You've certainly got your hands full with 3 kids, too. Hope the other two are old enough to give you a hand. I will keep you in my thoughts, and I hope you hear from others who may have been in the same situation & had happy endings! Take care of yourself first... your kids need a strong, healthy & happy Mom. Let us know how you are doing. We are lucky to have this site!
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