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Kinda Odd "problem" Kinda Odd "problem"

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Unread 03-31-2004, 03:07 PM
Kinda Odd "problem"

I'm not sure I'd even really call this a problem ... maybe more of an issue and maybe its nothing really? Maybe I just need to vent and thank God this site is here for me to do just that.

What to do when your doctor seems more comitted to the idea of "fixing" you than you are?

I just want to give it some time and hope it goes away. Maybe that makes me a Pollyana. I'm just an incurable optimist, I guess.

DH and I went to see my wonderful yesterday. DH thinks he's swell, too ... so its not just my opinion. We went in for a zoloft talk, but I mentioned that I had a rough week last week with pain. Doesn't look like my doc's willing to let it go that I am still having pain. So we are going to be at cross purposes soon. Basically, he said that we did not have to talk about it yesterday but it needs to be addressed and I am supposed to go back in 12 weeks.

I am tired of my pain being some defining factor in my life and am ready to just deal with the reality of it and go on. I just know that there will be days when I am limited, but there are also some really perfectly good days when I am 100% fine. I'm on this 3 week cycle of 2 good weeks and one rather bad.

This attitude of mine worries my DH. He thinks the zoloft might be giving me too much of an "I don't care" attitude to the point I will neglect my health. Actually, I feel more calm and able to think about what is and is not going to rule my life. I will not be ruled by pain.

I know I can live with this and the prospect of any further tampering and perhaps making it worse scares me. There just simply are no guarantees that further surgery or lupron will help me long term.

So, am I nuts for just wanting to be left alone? What I have is not going to kill me, so it should just make me stronger, isn't that what they say?

Thanks for being here!!! A for you all!
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Unread 03-31-2004, 04:44 PM

I assume from your post that you still have your ovaries and that is where the pain is coming from??? I know exactly how you feel as to the more surgery question. My TAH/BSO was 8 months ago, and my ab still hurts. I am ignoring it!!!! First I had all this pain from cysts and endo. (had no endo syptoms) Then I had a lap to remove cysts and clear up endo, that put me into menopause for three months, then I got my period back with a bang, then I had my complete hyst 7 months later, now 8 months after that, my ab still aches, and there is nothing in there!!! So I assume it's adhesions or scar tissue. BUT, I can function now, I just don't wear tight jeans or lean against anything. I WANT to feel like my old self, but am afraid that more surgery would equal more pain, and I just can't bring myself to even think about it. Besides, work will not be happy if I'm off more, and I don't want anymore "poking" around inside me. So, I am not agreeing with you that doing nothing is a good idea, and I'm sure it would be best to discover exactly what is causing your pain, but I can surely sympathize with where you are coming from. So go back to the DR in 12 weeks like he says, and talk the entire thing out with him. Maybe he has other ideas besides surgery. Good Luck to you!!!!
Unread 04-01-2004, 12:12 PM
Kinda Odd "problem"

Thanks for your reply.

Yes, I still have my ovaries and that might be the problem but then again might not. I don't want them out because what if it isn't my ovaries and then I am stuck with the whole HRT thing. See, if my doctor would say "its your ovaries, definitely" then I'd say yank 'em. But, he's not.
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Unread 04-01-2004, 12:22 PM

Hi Michelle,
It's me again. And I can surely understand your reluctance at having your ovaries out. Both mine were removed, and surgical menopause is no picninc!!! I opted the no HRT route, because I had endo, and didn't want to encourage it's re-growth, so I have to assume that what I am feeling IS NOT endo. But you really should follow up with this new DR. Is he a GYN??? You can PM me if you'd like. Take Care.
Unread 04-01-2004, 12:43 PM
Kinda Odd "problem"

Oh, this isn't a new doctor. He's been walking this journey with me for around for 3-4 years and is clearly frustrated/saddened that he has not found a way to make me better. Yes, he's a gyn and he did my hyst and my lap.

I will definitely see him in 12 weeks as he has requested. And perhaps without DH there as a distraction I will be able to clearly communicate to him why I just want to let it be and that there may be a point when I won't. He's usually quite respectful and understanding. So, I really should just trust that he will be about this, as well.
Unread 04-01-2004, 05:09 PM
Kinda Odd "problem"

Hi Michelle

I totally understand where you are coming from. You are not crazy, and no one, not even DH can fully understand the way you are feeling, except you. I have often thought maybe I should just accept the idea of pain and live with it, rather than always having some appt. or treatment hanging over me, and playing the constant waiting game. The idea of trying something else and ending up in more pain IS REAL. So for now if you can live with it, and have beaten the psychological aspects of it, which it sounds like, you have, then just give it some time and live your life. Just live. Maybe you'll even be able to forget about it all once in awhile, and maybe it will go away. I'm sure your doctor will still be there if you ever need to go back.
To me it sounds like you have a really healthy grip on things. Good for you.

As I await my first appt. with the pain clinic in........29 days!!
Unread 04-01-2004, 05:31 PM
Kinda Odd "problem"

Dear ((Michelle))

My doctor suggested two weeks ago that we do nothing for a while and see what happens... unfortunately I think I need some of the meds he thought we should stop in order to continue the "do nothing" approach.... otherwise I am fine with that... The only thing I have found helpful in the past when we "did nothing" (which in his eyes mostly means something surgical) is to meet with him every 3 months or so to talk about how things are going... I think that made it feel like I hadn't been abandoned in the midst of pain.

I think I may need to go back on the low dose Elavil to help me get to sleep and also reduce my bladder symptoms... hopefully it will not be long term but just until I have less pain from the surgery...

Unread 04-02-2004, 09:33 AM
Kinda Odd "problem"

Thanks Shelley and Sarah for the support and understanding. You're lovely!

Today I am feeling so good on whole. So, I am just going with it.

When I feel good, I have to take advantage of that and live life to the fullest and when I feel bad, I just need to allow myself to scale back and rest. Its not all that tough of a challenge that I have been given. People have overcome a lot worse than this.

As you can probably tell, the zoloft has done wonders for my outlook, especially on my good days.

Lots of s for my sisters. Remember to do something nice for YOU today!
Unread 04-02-2004, 10:07 AM

I think you are a wonderfully strong woman who knows her body and soul you and only you know what is right for you. Please listen to your soul and do what you feel. There may come a day when it tells you different but for know bask in the peace that you are in a place of serenity and comfort. Our DH hate to see us in pain and will always try to fix it no matter what it may take yours a while to realize that right now you don't need fixing you are fine with life.
I am happy that you are at peace with yourself, you deserve it. Take care. and remember believe in yourself you are your biggest fan.
Unread 04-04-2004, 04:24 AM
Kinda Odd "problem"


You have to go with your heart. If you're not comfortable with your doctor doing surgery, than there is a reason. I firmly believe in a woman's intuition about her body, I know you know what's going on inside, and what you can deal with. It may mean just seeking out a second opinion. Check with another GYN, and see what they think about the options your dr gave you.

Take some time, think things fully through, and do what you think is best.

Keep me posted.


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