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Expressing Myself...What is this behavior called???... Expressing Myself...What is this behavior called???...

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  #1  
Unread 04-04-2004, 11:40 PM
Expressing Myself...What is this behavior called???...

OK...my big day is this Thursday(4/8)...VH ,A&P Repair,Bladder repair. I am sooo retreating into myself. I am being kind of secretive about my surgery????...and I just want to go and "get it done"...without any "HOOPLA".

I have a great family of 7 children including my midlife bonus baby, who is 4 mo. old. My mom will come help me. She is NOT emotionally supportive at all, but she is great with laundry, cooking, and kids updates. My house and schedule will run smoothly. My husband (very loving and supportive) will be with me as much as he can in the hospital and I gotta see my baby. I sure hope she can come and visit. I will probally be in the hospital on Easter. My husband will take my kids to his great big happy family. I told him...don't say anything about me and I don't want them visiting me...????

I belong to a church with great friends who just smoothered me with well wishes for my midlife baby..baby showers and all...but I just don't even want to remind them of my surgery. i honestly want no calls and no visits????

I am sort of an intovert and just hate attention and I just want to do this and then...have someone say...oh when is your surgery and I will say...Oh I had it already.......no big deal.... what do U call this kind of BEHAVIOR????

...plz give me input!!! I need it. I cry when I think Of it....why I am like this??
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  #2  
Unread 04-04-2004, 11:51 PM
Expressing Myself...What is this behavior called???...

I was a little like that before...but when I did get phone calls, visits, etc...it made me feel sooooo good! Only the truly concerned ones really called or got in touch with me or my family to check on me...
  #3  
Unread 04-04-2004, 11:53 PM
sounds like me

Hi Isabella,
I too, felt that I did not want a flood of phone calls and visitors during my recovery from my hysterectomy. I also belong to a church that has been very supportive during other times in my life, but I did not tell them about my surgery. The only people I told were my mom, dad, sisters, grandma and one aunt. All of them live out of town, except for my mom, who helped me post-operatively. One thing that helped me decided that I did not want visitors/calls was when I mentioned to someone that I would be having a hysterectomy, they would reply (something to the effect of) "You're so young to have that done." I would simply reply with "I'm so young to be in constant pain and require daily pain medication." This did get tiring, though. I should not have to defend my decision to ANYONE but MYSELF. Like you, I am an introvert, and enjoy my own company, even when things are going well. You are not abnormal to want to be alone during your recovery -- you are taking care of you. You must remember that there is more to take care of than just the physical (at surgery time and always).
Not to dwell on the negative, but I would like to suggest to you that even though you keep your surgery private, it is possible (and did happen with me) that people will find out about it regardless of you not telling them (don't you just love gossip?). If people are pushy and insist on seeing you, you always have the right to say "NO". This does work for most people. If you have unwanted visitors while in the hospital, sometimes a nurse will put a "no visitors" sign on your door if you ask.
I would also like to remind you that you should not go through this alone, either. I do hope that you have at least one person who is supportive of you.
Best wishes.
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  #4  
Unread 04-05-2004, 05:49 AM
Expressing Myself...What is this behavior called???...

hello there.......
we share the same surgery date so that is the first thing we have in common and then....I too am a bit reclusive in the sense that I dont want the big fuss. Just let me have the surgery and be done with it and get on with my life. The thing is there was no way around people finding out....I belong to a church as well...but I am the pastors wife!! Keeping it quiet in a church of around 175 is hard. So, I just have to reverse my thinking and thank the good Lord that my wonderful husband doesnt have to cook for a week! I will just not think about me and be grateful that he has help.
My othert big major concern with visitors is this...I have melasma...a skin disorder where you have dark patches all over your face...I never go without make-up and even now when it fades some towards the end of the day I always get one or two that say "you have dirt on your face" Well, now they will get to see the real me!
I too have asked that no one visit me in the hospital....I don't think I will mind when I am at my own house and I am in control...(can put a note on the door "Shhh...baby sleeping...lol) When I really dont feel up to seeing anyone. I think most people abide by your wishes...
I will be whispering a prayer for you...
Jileebean
  #5  
Unread 04-05-2004, 07:48 AM
Expressing Myself...What is this behavior called???...

Don't feel guilty. My surgery is Wends, I don't want to be around anybody. I told my DH He didn't have to go and I hurt his feelings. But really I am not good company. I don't know why. I just want to be left alone.
  #6  
Unread 04-05-2004, 08:36 AM
Expressing Myself...What is this behavior called???...

I don't like being the center of attention. Maybe that's because I'm always the strong one and don't like people to see me when I'm down. Hardly anyone knew I was having surgery - just those who had to know. Afterwards if I mentioned it to people I would get the looks like "why did you let your doctor do that?" People just don't understand if they haven't lived it.

Do what is right for you. This is your surgery, your life and you get to call the shots this time!

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