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constant fear & anxiety constant fear & anxiety

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  #1  
Unread 04-06-2004, 05:09 PM
constant fear & anxiety

I have constant fears and anxiety about having a hysterectomy and the cervical cancer that I have. Everything I have read on this sight is very promising of a bright future, but in the mean time I can't live with the fear of pain and the possibility of the cancer being worse after the hyst. I started taking antidepresants 2 weeks ago, so feeling a little calmer, but still wake up every night thinking about it. How do deal with your fears? What gets you through your day and especially through the night (the worst!)?

I had a cone biopsy Mar 11th and the 17th doc told me it was cervical cancer and he would do a tvh in 2-3 months. I'm seeing him again next week to schedule it. I have 2 kids and run a daycare in my home. My whole life seems like it's going to go topsy turvy over this, not being able to take care of everyone. My dh is taking 2 weeks vacation, but then??? How will I survive if in pain and can't take care of anyone or even myself? How long before I can actually take care of 5 or more kids? It gets hard putting a smile on when I feel so panicked all the time.

I would really appreciate any comforting words.
Thanks so much,
Margo
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  #2  
Unread 04-06-2004, 05:48 PM
constant fear & anxiety

Margo,

At first you worry alot , cry ALOT, but somewhere along the way it gets much easier. As for the hysterectomy, the first two weeks are probably the hardest. I wouldn't even consider it very painful either. It feels just sort of tight at the incision. I honestly can't say it was painful. They will give you Morphine after the surgery. I didn't use it alot but I did use it.

As for Cancer the word it self is almost the worst part. You will be surprised about how much support you will get. NEVER be afraid to ask for help from others. Ask your Dr. for a sedative that can also help besides the anti-depressants. Take care and keep us updated!

Your Pal
Bonnie
  #3  
Unread 04-06-2004, 05:59 PM
constant fear & anxiety

Hi Fishlady. I just found out yesterday that I am having a LAVH on 4/22 (family history of ovarian cancer and possible endometriosis). I don't know if they are going to find cancer or not and I am very nervous. BUT my aunt had a hysterectomy for ovarian cancer (after having had breast cancer) She bounced back pretty quickly. It's now 13 years later and she fine.

The past few days I get very scared and wonder about the "what ifs". I focus on the positive. My aunt got through it and so have a lot of other people. When I really start to panic I remember that God is control and I pray A LOT. I will pray for peace and calm for you.

Isn't there someone that would volunteer to come in and help you with the children so you don't exert yourself for at least six weeks. A retired grandmother or a stay at home mom that could bring her own children. Why dont you ask at your local churches for any volunteers that may be willing to help. I know our church would be glad to help someone in the community whether they attended our church or not. It might be worth a try. I'll be praying for you.
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  #4  
Unread 04-06-2004, 06:41 PM
constant fear & anxiety

Margo,

I wanted to give you a huge I am going through a lot of what you are. I just found out about having cancer. Friday infact. It scares the living stuffing out of me. I know that doesn't help you and I really don't have any words of wisdom, but I can sure listen (read) anytime.

Tracy
  #5  
Unread 04-06-2004, 07:15 PM
constant fear & anxiety

Hi Margo,

I know that all of this is alot to swallow right but right now you need to calm down a little.

All of those "what its" have haunted all of us at one time or another.

You WILL survive the hysterectomy, the pain that will go away, and the chemo if necessary.

If your husband will take the two weeks off when you get out of the hospital, you will have lots of healing time if you really take advantage of it.

I am a nursery school teacher so I understand your fears but after 5 weeks I did go back to work and was totally fine.

My doctor gave me Zanax for when the fears hit worst, at night. It worked great and I slept.

Rosalie
  #6  
Unread 04-06-2004, 07:44 PM
constant fear & anxiety

I can certainly identify with the fear, Margo. But having been there and now being on the "other side" of the surgery and cancer treatment, I can assure you, you'll be fine.

Try not to let the fear overwhelm you. Keep your feet planted in reality. And the reality is that you will be well taken care of, you will get the help you need at home (make sure you ask!) and you'll deal with what's ahead of you one day at a time.

God bless, Margo. By the way, if you believe in a Higher Power, it helps. No matter what I went through over this past year, I always knew that I was not fighting this cancer alone.
  #7  
Unread 04-06-2004, 08:05 PM
You've Gotten Good Advice Here

The waiting part is absolutely the worst. I knew I could have ovarian cancer as a possibility--but was never contacted when everything showed it and told about a gynecological/oncologist. I kept busy and with two jobs and a house I didn't have much time to get too worried--just about coming home alone as I have almost no family. The hysterectomy is major surgery, but in three weeks I was out and about and at four weeks I felt so good I wanted my chemo postponed a week so I could have more fun.
We each heal differently but with your husband to help, you'll have a big boost there. You may want to ask about a sleep aide or something to calm nerves--many do. The what-if's are all very normal. Be sure to check a lot on pre-op which has many good posts about pre-op fears and check post-op too and you'll see the "I did it!" posts. I wish I'd had Hysters BEFORE the fact. And ask any more questions here.
  #8  
Unread 04-06-2004, 09:15 PM
constant fear & anxiety

I can't add to what the others have said, but if a wimp like me can get thru it you can too. The waiting is defintely the hardest part, but try to stay calm as possible. Let people help you in your recovery.
Before long you will be posting on this oard to encourage others who feel as you do now.
  #9  
Unread 04-06-2004, 11:29 PM
constant fear & anxiety

For me, the beginning was the worst part. It was much better once I knew the diagnosis and the treatment and got started with it.

You should NOT have your gyn do the surgery. You should make an appointment with a gyn oncologist and have him do the surgery. He's the expert and will know exactly what to do and what to look for during the surgery. A gynologist isn't an expert in treating cancer so you need someone who is a cancer expert. Call and ask your gyn office what oncologist they refer patients to.

What stage is your cancer?

Hang in there, it will get better. If you can't sleep ask your doctor about prescribing Ambien. It works great with no 'hangover'.

Hugs,
Janie
  #10  
Unread 04-07-2004, 08:53 AM
constant fear & anxiety

Thank you everyone,
I feel so much better talking about it with somebody other than my dh. He's at least half as worried as me and doesn't sleep well either, so it gets hard talking to him about it all the time. Your replies have been very comforting.
Thanks,
Margo
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