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Teenaged Daughter Teenaged Daughter

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Unread 05-04-2004, 08:49 AM
Teenaged Daughter

This past Sunday we awoke to find our 16 year old daughter had not come home. Husband thought I had made sure she was home at midnight, I thought he'd gotten up to let her in at midnight when the doorbell rang. After frantically trying her cell phone and the On-Star phone in her car to no avail, we started calling hospital emergency rooms, friends, etc. Finally, called the police, who came right over and took a report. I was sure she was dead.

In our town there was a girl who was abducted and killed after being paraded around taped and tied up by her former boyfriend. The last time we had seen our daughter was with her former boyfriend, who is now in college. We came home from the in-laws to find her ALONE IN THE HOUSE with him. Mind you, this is not allowed in our home, and she very well knows this.

While the officer was calling in the report, Rachel called. She had fallen asleep watching TV at the home where she is dog sitting. We had completely forgotten she was dog sitting, since it's such an on-again, off-again thing for people who are globetrotters. She rushed home, the officer gave her a good bawling out.

This is the same child who gets all A's in her all-honors classes in high school, works at a retirement home, and is very responsible.

She was not with her ex-boyfriend, I found upon further checking. And I know for sure she is on her period right now. Boy, the things I have done as a parent..........

This same child (I have two teenaged boys, 13 and 18) gives me gray hairs overnight. When she was 14 and came home from her best girl friends house in a red sports car driven by a boy she just met, I grounded her. I sent her best friend home and gave the boy a stern warning. I then sent her to her room, and then sat down at the kitchen table to deflate. Next thing I see is my sweet daughter, prancing down the side walk in front of the house, headed towards........The Boy in the RED CAR. She was back in her room so fast she was dizzy.

She had hopped out her bedroom window. Now I am not your average garden-variety mother. Oh, no. I have been known to do some pretty bizarre things in order to ensure the safety of my children. I also can be counted on to come up with very unique and un-popular "consequences" for my kids misdeeds.

So I took her door off it's hinges.

Heck, I figured she doesn't USE the door, she won't miss it. Well, apparently 14 year old girls really love their bedroom doors. I mean, REALLY LOVE their bedroom doors. It's an extension of their bodies, actually. They can shut out the nasty parent-ruled world with the DOOR. Kind of like "talk to the hand".

I think I will use this again if she ever dares to slam her door in my face. She never has, but, man, I can't wait.......

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Unread 05-10-2004, 02:39 PM
I remember . . .

The stupid things I did as a teenager. I used to sneak out of my window all the time and never gave a thought to how stupid it was to be walking around town by myself - usually to meet a friend and/or boyfriend. I might as well have worn a sign that said "kidnap me, I'm an idiot". My mother never even knew about it. What she did do was set her alarm clock to my curfew time, that way if she fell asleep she still woke up to check on me. Teenage girls are so clueless to how vulnerable they are - they are so desperate for acceptance that they make some pretty dumb decisions (me included). I feel a little bit lucky that I only have a DS (although I know the world is a scary place for boys too but it seems like you don't have to worry as much about them).

I have to commend your unique consequences - taking the door off the hinges is a stroke of brilliance. Just keep the lines of communication open and let her know that respect is a two way street. Good luck and if you come up with any parenting tips for boys, please feel free to share them with me (my DS is only 1 now but I can use all the advice I can get).
Unread 05-11-2004, 11:49 PM
Teenaged Daughter

I know how you feel. It's so scary now days. I'm glad she is alright! My DD, 21 now, scared my when she was 14. I wasn't sure but I thought she was snicking out one nigth to meet her first BF. She shared a room & bunk beds with her 4 yr brother at the time. She had the bottom bunk. I knew the top one squiked badly and made my lighter son sleep on it to keep the noise down. That day I told her that he fell off the top so she had to sleep there from now on. It worked. 1am she left, making lots of noise. I quitely follow her to the park 2 blocks away. When they sat down and tried to neck I grab them both by their shirts and walked them home. He broke up with her because 15 yr old boys were aloud to got out whenever they want. Personally, I think I just scared him to much! I never Qiut careing or spying and beleive that is why she is doing great as a young women!
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Unread 05-17-2004, 09:47 PM
Cool - Teenaged Daughter lost & alone

hi lost and alone,
I saw you were nursing your preemie with a tahbso? Please explain, thanks.
Unread 05-18-2004, 03:00 AM
Question - Teenaged Daughter Teenaged Daughter

I am sorry, i don't mean to be rude, and I hope that nobody minds me asking, but what's a preemie??
Unread 05-18-2004, 01:42 PM
Teenaged Daughter

Hi Fran.K,

I Had a preemie baby. That just means that the baby was born to early. I was told by my Dr. 21 yrs ago, that a baby born more than 2 weels early eas premature. Mine was 5 weeks early and doing fine.

Dear floppys,
I have a friend who had a baby and while still nursing, had a TAH,BSO, and rectecole done. She was able to continue nursing after she was of meds for surgery. Before surgery she stalled up on milk for her baby. I hope I'm not out of line trying to answer that.
Unread 05-18-2004, 03:33 PM

Thanks for the reply! I sent you an e-mail.
Unread 05-18-2004, 03:37 PM

I'd like to send you an e-mail if possible....Thanks. You aren't so lostandalone I don't think.
Unread 05-18-2004, 03:56 PM
Teenaged Daughter

Hi...how did the subject of Preemies end up on this thread?? Anyways...I have a 15 yr. old DS and I had a similiar thing happen one Saturday night. He came home from the movies at 10:30, Me & DH went to bed, locked all the doors, put the alarm on..etc.etc. I got up to pee about 11:30 and looked into his room...bed was still made...no DS! I flipped out! I looked outside, sometimes him & his friends sit out front...no kids...I called his cell, of course...he didn't answer! Well...I was livid!! Then it came to me...check his computer to see what his "Away" message said! There it was, in black & white! He snuck out to go to a girl's house a few blocks away! SOOOO....being the lucky Mom that I am...my son used to use my cell phone, before I bought him his own...I looked the girl's number up in my phone...called...and the rest is history! I thought my DS was going to ****! Needless to say...he got his butt RIGHT home and was grounded! I don't think he'll ever try that one again! I am a very resourceful Mom!
Unread 05-18-2004, 08:24 PM
teenage daughter

I to have survived the dreads of teen age years. My stories
have been allnighters, raves, drugs, fights, and even a half-way
house. Moving in, then out. It was a nightmare. Happy story
now. She 25, working, NOT partying, and is a wonderful
person. Hang tuff with it, stand your ground, eventually she
will grow up. I cherish my relationship with my daughter now.
She did resent some harsh decisions I made in the past, but
has come to realize I did all of it for her. I would, however,
not wish to re-live those times ever again.

The best of luck to you.
P.S. counseling encouraged


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