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Are my problems normal after postop Are my problems normal after postop

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Unread 05-05-2004, 01:12 PM
Are my problems normal after postop

I had three children in 2-1/2 years. My oldest was born with forceps which I think started my prolapse. The babies were 9-12, 10-13, and 9-15/1/2. They are now 19, 20, and 21. My doctor wanted perform the surgery 17 years ago.

My condition worsened and I had a hysterectomy and reconstruction for all 3 types of prolapses on April 5. I left the hospital on April 7. I kept my ovaries.

I had a horrible time from the minute I checked into the hospital until now 4-1/2 weeks later.

Morning of the surgery I couldn't give myself an enema. I was yelled at by the nurse there for being slow. I had to have her help me. I was so tense from being yelled at I was crying.

Post op I had the hospital room and nurses from hell. My roommates oxygen buzzer kept going off every few minutes. Her bathroom bucket was always sitting in the toilet and the garbage was never emptied.

I actually had to clean the bathroom myself. I had a nurse say sarcastically, "Are you afraid of germs?" This made me too tense to have a bowel movement there. I had been constipated for several days before my surgery and the enema only cleaned out my rectal area.

Another nurse said "Why are your blankets messed up? Do you mess your blankets up like that at home." I said I was restless because of the pain. She then said "Or is it because you don't have to make the bed yourself here." Not that she ever did make them for me.

I would go 7-1/2 hours without pain killers since my nurse didn't get to me.

I wasn't sent home with ANY instructions except I remember someone somewhere along the line saying 10 lbs. lifting restriction - my doctor said last week when I e-mailed him it should be a 20 lb. restriction.

I wasn't told whether or not to drive, walk, do housework, etc.. except I was told not to vacuum.

I had a coughing spasm my first day home from the surgery while standing and tried my best to hold my legs together.

I had my surgery 600 miles away (expert medical facility) and spent a few days with my mother before making the trip home on Easter Sunday (April 11) with my daughter (age 20) driving. We stopped twice and I self-cathed in the back of my mini-van.

The first day home (post-op 1 week) I lifted files, unpacked, did laundry, and paperwork. The rest of the week I worked on taxes so I really didn't take it easy - I couldn't - there was too much to do.

I feel guilty about taking it easy. Since I don't have an incision I think people presume I should be okay. They say "You look good." My mother made the comment that she had that kind of surgery and didn't have problems insinuating whatever and resumed normal activities almost immediately. (She had reconstruction but I don't think she had such major reconstruction as I had.)

My daughter made the comment - "All you do is lie around and watch Fox" - which actually wasn't true since I was up and about 75% of the day.

These comments make me feel like I should be doing more. Things need doing and when I ask my daughter to help me she can't always get to it right away since she is busy so I end up doing it myself.

My husband has been deployed to Iraq for a year but will be home hopefully within a week. I want to be better. Believe it or not my daughter even said I am so pathetic I should ask him to extend in a war zone until I am better so he doesn't see me this way - which is ludricous.

(My daughter really is a nice girl but can't understand why I need to rest. She was only being helpful. She wanted me to look my best when he comes home.

Before my surgery I was afraid that the cure would be worse than the symptoms and I now think I was right. I put the surgery off for 17 years because of that. Now I wish I had never had it.

I have severe cramps in my abdomen and pin pointed pain in my ovary areas. Ibuprofin seems to help but the pain resumes when the medication wears off.

I didn't have a bowel movement for a couple days after I was home from the hospital which made it about 9 days in all. I still have a hard time having a bowel movement - my rectum feels like it has dropped. My stool is sometimes extended in my rectum. I am taking a stool softner. I try to eat fiber.

I stopped doing the self cath after 2 weeks but now I have to wear a pad due to leakage.

I have a feeling of urge to urinate every 30 minutes to 1 hour including all night long.

When I sit there is a noticeable pressure on my bottom near my vaginal area. It feels as if I am sitting on my bladder or something is physically right there.

My vagina is bumpy and feels like it is full of scar tissue or something.

I am afraid not only that I still have prolapse but now my vagina is messed up.

I am crying and feeling afraid that my body is messed up for life.

When my husband returns he is going to want sexual relations after the 6 weeks or whatever but he is going to be so disappointed in me because my vagina is not smooth anymore and seems to be shorter.

At least when I had my prolapse, my prolapse wasn't apparant when I was lying down.

Are my physical symptoms normal? Especially important question is - will that pressure as if something is present on my bottom go away? Are the cramps normal? Is it normal to have such a rough vagina after the surgery? Is it possible I could have messed up the surgery lifting files and doing physical activity. Before surgery I used to walk 2 miles a day. When can I start walking again?

Sorry this is so long but I have lots of questions.

My husband is on messenger from Iraq now so I've got to go. I hope someone out there can give me some advice.
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Unread 05-05-2004, 01:57 PM
Been There

First ,thing is to do is get advice from your DR. I have had same,as you . Mine was in Feb. I relate to everything you described. People , don't know what you are going through. The upset in harmonies is just crazy. Sometimes it is upsetting to see someone you love not in control, I am a control freak. My family just could'nt get where I was coming from emotionally. I felt as though I was sitting on a pine cone for some time. I had the pains,you described. The BM issue !!!!!!!!!I just posted to another sister that is having problems.It seems we are going through mostly the same issues. Why don't they tell us . You need to really really take it easy, I have because I don't ever want to go through anything like this again. I do not feel guilty, this is my time to care for me!!! I have spent my life caring for others. I do very little. Stuff is driving me nuts, but I say, so what . I need this time. Everyone seems to be getting along just fine without me doing and doing for them. Its quit amazing! I read,I watch T.V. I putter. Let things go and rest, let your body recup. We have been through a major surgery. When anyone says , you should be over this by now, I reply, Oh! when did you get your medical degree, I thought you were a bookkeeper , or what ever. It works everytime.
Long, just to say TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF NO ONE ELSE IS GOING TO DO IT FOR YOU. And we have a long time to live in these bodies of ours.
Love and Huggs
Unread 05-05-2004, 02:25 PM
Are my problems normal after postop

When your husband comes home, would you feel comfortable letting him read what you have written in your post? Even people who have never met you would have a problem reading it and not sympathizing with you, how much more would someone who loves you? Also, maybe your daughter has no idea this is how you feel. I think you expressed yourself very well in your post and just thought it might help others understand what you are going through. As to the guilt over not doing enough, we are told by our doctors that it takes AT LEAST 6 weeks of taking it VERY easy and my doc told me I would not be FULLY recovered for 6-12 months! So next time someone says something to you, just tell them you are following doctor's orders and that you have enough sense to know if you follow them you will have less chance of ending up back in the hospital. I hated reading that you had such a hard time in the castle. It is hard to believe some nurses have chosen a field of "helping people" with those kinds of attitudes. Sorry I was not able to help you with your physical symptoms, I am having my share of those and don't have any advice. But these other girls do and I'm sure they will help you feel more comfortable about your situation. Hang in there!!
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Unread 05-05-2004, 09:04 PM
Are my problems normal after postop

Oh my!!! What a terrible experience for you! First of all...can you get a check-up with your doc to see if you did any damage? NOTHING is supposed to be in the vagina, so you shouldn't know if it has scar tissue! Please take it easy..whatever you have been doing, you should stop now and relax. The other girls are right, you are just following doctors orders. You are already under so much stress with your husband gone, and practically going through this by yourself. I agree with diamond, tell those people/ your family that they are not doctors, and you are following orders. This is your time to relax and heal..if you overdo it your body will not heal properly and you'll be even longer recovering. Remember we are all here for you and you're not going through this alone. The world will not end if all of the chores don't get done.

((((hugs)))) to you..Lyndsy
tvh on 2-20-04
Unread 05-05-2004, 09:55 PM
Are my problems normal after postop

Wow.. I'm sorry you are having a rough time. Your hospital stay sounds horrid. And while she may normally be a sweetheart, your daughter is being horrid,also.
You shouldn't know how your vagina feels to touch. No matter what your surgery, NOTHING should go in the vagina for 6 weeks. You risk infection. And you risk ripping stitches. But you also have to remember there is swelling in there. What it feels like now isn't necessarily what it will feel like next week, or 2 weeks from now.
A princess needs rest. You didn't go thru this surgery to mess up the recovery. You went through it to get BETTER. It's typical to have restrictions driving for 2-3 weeks, and for everything else, 4-6 weeks. This includes laundry, sweeping, pushing, lifting.
You need to call your doc, whether your surgeon, or whomever is taking care of you post-op, being surgeon is so far away.Ask what your restrictions are.Tell him what you have been doing. And explain your symptoms.
I'm sure he'll want to check you. after the visit, sit your daughter down, and tell her you have raised her all these years,and now you expect her understanding. Show her the pictures on You look at them yourself. Maybe then, she'll understand why you have restrictions, and you will stop feeling guilty. You didnt have a tooth pulled for Gods sake. This was a major surgery. Please, don't risk further injury. Don't make more problems. Take the time to get well. And do not feel guilty. The only thing you are doing wrong.. is not taking care of yourself.
I'm sorry to sound so stern here. I'm upset that your daughter is making you feel worse when shes old enough to understand (I have a 22yo DD).and I am worried that you are hurting yourself when you should be resting.
Keep us posted. PLEASE.. take it easy.. and call that doctor
Unread 05-05-2004, 10:00 PM

The first thing I would like to say is that you do need rest. Between health and having your husband in Iraq you MUST rest. You have had surgery, it doesn't matter what kind and everyone responds differently. Personally I think you did too much too soon.
Give yourself a break.

I got similar treatment in the hospital and as easy as it is to say forget about it, it's hard to do. That treatment made me fee like I mattered very little.

Please try to get a long visit or call with your Dr. and ask these questions. I did not have the same health problems so I don't know the answer and your Dr. knows your situation better than any of us.

You are in my prayers. Do not feel guilty at all. You are dealing with way too much!

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