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Am I too sensitive? Am I too sensitive?

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  #1  
Unread 05-18-2004, 03:50 PM
Am I too sensitive?

I was talking to a friend of mine who asked how I was feeling. I said good, but I get really tired at night. She said "well, so do I" and laughed. This is a different kind of tired than the everyday thing. I was a little offended. Maybe I'm being too sensitive.
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  #2  
Unread 05-18-2004, 03:56 PM
Am I too sensitive?

I probably would have been offended too --- I would have felt that she wasn't taking my situation seriously enough.
But... is she usually a good friend?? -- If so, give her the benefit of the doubt -- perhaps she felt silly as soon as the words were out of her mouth - perhaps she doesn't know how truly tired you can feel after surgery (and may she be blessed enough not to have to find out!).

If she isn't that good a friend, let it go. save your energy for something more fun.

  #3  
Unread 05-18-2004, 03:59 PM
Am I too sensitive?

She wasn't intentionally trying to make light of your situation. No one understands except those who have been there. I am chronically and visibly disabled and people say stupid or insensitive stuff to me, too, but they are just ignorant or trying to sound concerned and they don't know how. Few people are vicious at heart. Just wish her well and go do something to pamper yourself. You deserve it!
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  #4  
Unread 05-18-2004, 04:03 PM
Am I too sensitive?

could she have said that, and in her mind she was thinking....i am tired at night, too.....man, she must REALLY be tired after going thru what she has!
just a thought

nel
  #5  
Unread 05-18-2004, 04:38 PM
Am I too sensitive?

Sometimes people can say things that are so cruel. One of my co-workers at work told me to get a puppy when I told her I was having my hysterectomy. She LOL and said puppies are just like children. She knew I had no children. I was so hurt. She never even told me she was sorry.

Nicole
  #6  
Unread 05-18-2004, 05:19 PM
Am I too sensitive?

I dont think your being too sensitive at all....For people who dont understand what we have been through, they really cant sympathize. Most of my girlfriends who have had normal periods their whole life could never understand my bleeding problems........Just use more tampons or pads, they would say dont get a hysterectomy....!!! But for me if was the only answer.....Unless you have bled through every piece of clothing and under-ware, and sheet sets, and beds and car seats, and every carpet in the house, not to mention everyone elses houses I have been in....It just was toooooo much for me to handle...Constantly tired and loosing blood....Anyways sorry for venting.....I agree with the other sister, if she was a good friend, let it slide, other wise the next time she has a comment, have a reply handy.....Hugs and best wishes to you...Cindybean...
  #7  
Unread 05-19-2004, 04:35 AM
insensitive friend

Your friend probably just made a 'throw away' comment, she shouldn't have made.

If u're tired, u're tired. Please don't blame yourself for being too sensitive. Your friend just truly wasn't understanding what u were saying darling, huuuuuuuuugs.

So often us females blame ourselves for other ppl's dopey comments.

May our heavenly Father give u strength courage and resilience to continue to recover and have a grrrreeeaattt life.
  #8  
Unread 05-19-2004, 06:34 AM
Am I too sensitive?

Thanks for all of your kind replies. I am feeling very sensitive right now. She probably did realize what she said soon after. I think if we are looking and acting pretty normal, people forget. I'm just very emotional right now. I'm even sad because our poor cicadas we have her in MD only get to live above the ground for a few weeks. Is that nuts or what????? I think it's time for some hrt!!!!
  #9  
Unread 05-19-2004, 06:53 AM
Am I too sensitive?

Noo....you are not being too sensitive. I will say, as you already know...this IS a tired like no other, right? Therefore, anyone that has not been through this particular surgery does not have a clue what we mean when we say TIRED. She didn't mean anything mean by her comment, she just probably doesn't know any better. People forget how traumatic this surgery is, AND most of us are anemic when we go into it, AND we are dealing with hormone hell when we recuperate. I am eight weeks post-op and doing so very well. I push, push, push all day long, from 5 am non stop through dinner. All at once, OMG, I crash, I get so tired I literally feel ill. It is actually difficult to articulate the degree of exhaustion I feel. Then, I rest and feel AWESOME. It is so ironic, I have always had sleep issues, so I will rest and then sleep and by midnight I am up wondering around the house, looking for something to do, someone to talk to!
I think one of the side benefits of this surgery for some of us, is bringing us into our "sense of self". I think we many times stop looking outside of ourselves for empowerment and affirmation. I used to feel that if someone else didn't recognize the way I felt, there must be something wrong with ME! I have come to know that what I am is ok, what I feel is ok, and if the "world" around me doesn't get it, it doesn't diminish me one bit. I hope that made a little bit of sense.
All the best to you, and just keep taking great care of yourself!
s Leslie
  #10  
Unread 05-19-2004, 07:04 AM
Am I too sensitive?

I just got up at 8 a.m. -- it's now 9 a.m., and I'm going back to bed to take a nap !! I'm TIRED!

You've just had major surgery, and it is a real trauma to your body! It'll be a good while till you're healed completely. I guess some people don't understand that.

This is a different kind of tired. To me, it's more fatigue than anything else, and it's really hard to cope with (I had chronic fatigue for two years, several years ago).

Don't let anybody make you feel like you're not doing the right thing. It's YOUR body, and it's your recovery. You be tired whenever you want, and get all the rest you can, and don't let anyone make you self-conscious about it.

Take care,

Lisa


P.S. Nicole, I am shocked, amazed and disgusted by that "puppy" remark that woman made to you. What are people thinking?? :confuse: I am so sorry she said that to you.
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