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Unread 05-20-2004, 04:18 PM

Well Ladies, I am not sure if it's nerves or what. Maybe someone out there could give me some advise, I am a bit overwhelmed with everything in my life and I have always been able to deal with anything and everything. First, off I have been working 6 days a week for the past 6 weeks, because it is our busy time of the year, planting rice, trying to plan a graduation and party for June 3rd for my son, we will be having 50 family members over, planning the last day of school picnic, since I am the PTA president, taking my son to Football Practice at the high school everyday after school, 2 to 3 Little League baseball games a week for my youngest son, plus he has a private baseball coach that he attends 2 times a week, training a new gal in my office for while I am gone, ( But I am still planning on telecommuting, because I am the boss), next Planning closing ceremonies for Little League on June 12 for LIttle League and now I was just informed that football camp starts on June 14 for a week and my son will need to be there at 7 am in the am and picked up at 7 pm each night. How is that going to work, I am having surgery on June 7th, so I know I will be down for a while, I am not one to ask for help. I just buck up and do it...

I know where is her DH, well my DH just started a new job as a General Manager and is extremly busy, it is not like him not pull his weight, but with the new job, I understand.

I am trying to Breathe, but the anxiety is getting to me. I feel like: Calgone take me away, NOW!!!!! Maybe a panic attack, no time to worry about Surgery, to busy!!!! And I have constant pain. Any advise would be helpful or maybe I making a mountain out of a mole hill!!!!
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Unread 05-20-2004, 04:24 PM

I understand not wanting to ask for help but if you have your surgery and continue to push yourself, you could end up in worse shape!

Is there anyone that will be able to pick up the kids and take them to the stuff they need to attend? It sounds like you do so much so I'm hoping that there will be someone that would just love to give you help when you need it.

Please ask for the help!!! It may hurt your pride a little bit but in the long run, you'll be thanking yourself for asking for the help!

Hang in there.

Unread 05-20-2004, 04:38 PM

I will ask for help, I just hate to... To much going on at one time ! I will just have to take one day at a time and Breathe.
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Unread 05-20-2004, 05:13 PM

Diva, I did not want to ask for help either, but found I had to. It is humbling sure, but you cannot recover if you shoulder all of this other stuff. You cannot do it all, do not try.
This is MAJOR surgery. You have to give yourself time off of life. Otherwise you will not recover.
You have one shot at recovering right don't blow it.
Take care,
Unread 05-20-2004, 07:13 PM

Try and deal with one thing at a time, firstly, if you feel that you are having a panic attack and can't breathe properly, you need to deal with this. Cup your hands over your mouth and nose and inhale the air you have just breathed out. You need to put the carbon dioxide back into your system before you throw up or pass out. You cannot deal with anything else while having panic attacks.

Think about some routine tasks you can delegate

Have people on stand by if you need them, people like to help.

Be prepared to put you recovery first after the op. It will be counter productive in the long term if you don't and as an intelligent woman, you can see the benefits of planning for this rather than toughing it out.

Prioritise. if the kids don't do all of their activities they will understand.

Everytime you feel the anxiety building up, do the cupped hand thing, or if you can remember, carry a paper bag with you. I find the hand thing easier to remember.

Take care of yourself,

God bless
Unread 05-21-2004, 10:41 AM

Thank you Ladies, I feel much better today. I did call a few family members and a couple teenage girls in the area to help me out, with all my commitments. Thank you so much for your support.
Unread 05-21-2004, 10:59 AM

Hi Connie..
I just want to send a {{{{{HUG}}}}}...and some strength to you! You have ALOT on your plate. Good luck to you
Unread 05-21-2004, 11:02 AM

You might think about calling your Dr. and requesting something to calm your nerves. I know, none of us like to take that sort of thing, but we are talking about major surgery. You need to take care of yourself one way or another. Good luck to you.

Unread 05-21-2004, 03:05 PM

Hi Pmsdiva,

Don't get me wrong, I struggle with obsessing over things, but this is one of the things that greatly helps me cope when I am feeling overwhelmed.

A very dear friend of mine is a recovering alcoholic and she taught me the serenity prayer. It is very simple and I say it to myself when I am feeling stressed:

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference."

I don't know if it will help, but it works for me. Helps me put things in perspective.

And I can relate with you on not wanting to ask for help, as this is something I have trouble with.

Hang in there!


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