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Unread 05-24-2004, 06:33 PM
I'm scared!

I really don't know a whole lot about what is going on with me right now and its scaring me. I'm 26 and last October I was told that I had high risk HPV and severe dysplasia. A LEEP was performed and the doc got it all. Well, its now 7 months later, had a follow up pap, which lead to another biopsy, which is now leading to another LEEP. More severe dysplasia was found and the doc apparently is quite concerned with one area. I have one beautiful daughter and would really like to have another child. I'm concerned that I won't be able to have another. Is it normal for dysplasia to come back that quickly...I really don't have a clue as to how this all happens. I don't want to have to keep having LEEPs, but a hystorectomy may be an option and isn't something that I want to have done. Right now I am emotionally freaking out! Should I be as concerned as I am?
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Unread 05-24-2004, 11:49 PM
I'm scared!

It is natural for you to be concerned and hard to be going thru this at such a young age. I have never had a Leep, but many women on this board have and will be able to help you. Why don't you write down all your concerns and give your Dr a call?
Unread 05-25-2004, 04:49 PM
I'm scared!

HPV and the CIN it causes is an unpredictable thing as far as if and when it might come back. I hope you are scared enough to follow through with all exams and procedures that come your way now and forever but can achieve some balance and put it out of your mind in between times.

I was scared out of my mind when CIN was found a few years ago but reassured when I read of the high success rate of the leeps. Unfortunately I was one of the 10% it came back in but I was able to limit my doomy gloomy thinking to the short time frame around paps/colpos and results and the rest of the time I was able to put it out of my mind. I was pretty comfortable with my doctor and after 5 years of being on this not so merry go round I was more than prepared when he presented hysterectomy as an option.

Can I go out on a limb here and say what I really think? You're 26, have one child and have a high risk strain of HPV.

1) Keep a close eye. Don't skip, don't delay one pap. Forget about it between tests.

2) Another leep might make it go away forever, maybe for 10 years, maybe 2. Understand that you might have to hear the word "hysterectomy" while still in your childbearing years and plan your family accordingly. CIN can be followed during pregnancy and treatment can usually wait until after delivery. (Cervical cancer -- different story.)

3) Fertility or my life, fertility or my life? Hmmmm. I choose my life.

It stinks having so much be out of your control but here's some things you can do that might keep the bad stuff in check. Try to keep your immune system strong. Most of us have been exposed to hpv at some point in our lives, why did their immune systems take care of it when mine did not? Take care of your mind, body and spirit. If you smoke then stop. That might be a big one if you read the research. Eat your fruit and veg. And can I say it just one more time? Have your paps and have them on time.

Best of luck.

Ziggy TVH May 2004, severe dysplasia
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Unread 05-25-2004, 04:53 PM
I'm scared!

Oh, yes. Forgot to say I had both my two kids in the years I was dealing with my abnormal paps. Didn't have any problems getting pregnant or carrying them to term even though I was working with a very shortened cervix by that time. (Two leeps)
Unread 05-26-2004, 12:58 PM
I'm scared!

I have to agree with ziggy... take care of yourself... in my case I had the cone biopsy done in October... here it is in May and I am scheduled to have hysterectomy on June 28th... It can come back very suddenly. One thing that I tried to think about was... I am almost 30 and have been blessed in the last year and a half with a beautiful daughter and have 2 from a previous marriage. But all in all.... be greatful that you have a child and that you have been able to share that experience. I can see your concern with wanting more children and for me .... my husband and I dont plan on having more children but I have to admit when I got my date it saddened me when I thought that I couldnt ever have another beautiful child. It is hard to say if you will be one to get cancer but one thing I thought about was that I didnt want to go through all of these procedures anymore. It has been mentally devistating to me and that is just how I deal with stress ... I was so afraid when I started all of this. My daughter was only 7 months old when I found out and I never had a bad pap until after she was born. I was also breastfeeding and felt like my world was being ripped away from me. I have found much strength in this website though. It has helped me to understand that I am not the only one that is going through this ... in fact there are many others that go through much worse. One thing that I do want to say is that watch some of the things you read on here because they can scare the hell out of you. I have found that some storys can be GREATLY exagerated. lol.... but I am not trying to make light of their personal situations... I think you know what I mean if you have read some posts that are on here ... All I can say to you is ... make the most of what you have to work with... Ask your doctor if they think it would be wise to have more children and get a second or third opinion that is always good to do. I wish you luck and hope that everything works out for you.. Please feel free to write to me anytime if you need to talk.. I usually get on here several times a day to check to see if anyone PM's me.. but if not I will check in to see how you are.... take care and try not to worry ok?

Hugs from me to YOU....

Unread 05-26-2004, 02:14 PM
Hi Sam

Hi Sam ,

I'm sorry to hear that you are dealing with all this, but I hope it's a comfort to know that there are many women here who have been in very similar situations, and each of them must choose what is best for their particular situation.

From the sounds of things, you have options other than a hysterectomy right now. A cone biopsy can often get rid of all the bad cells, many times forever, or at least long enough that you could have another child if you like. Also, I had a fairly new procedure called a trachelectomy which takes the cervix but leaves the uterus so the possibility of fertility is retained. Send me a PM or post if you'd like more info on that. Best of luck to you in your decision.

Deegeorge: I'm a little put off by your suggestion that some ladies here exaggerate their situation. First of all, it's not funny. Second, I don't think that it's true at all. Some have had quite terrible situations to deal with, others consider themselves extremely lucky, and sometimes these are the same people!
Unread 05-26-2004, 02:31 PM
I'm scared!

chicklet: I am not saying that everyone DOES EXAGERATE!! That is not at all what I was saying... I stated that to be carefull reading some of the posts here because sometimes the are scary and you also can read of some people that do exagerate their situations... Everyone is different and I am not refering to anyone in general... but if you have been through what i have ..... you would understand what i mean.... Sometimes you read of people who have had a hysterectomy and they say it was not as bad as they thought it would be... in most case that I have heard that is the case... but you do get cases where in my personal posts people have wrote me stories and it scared the hell out of me and come to find out that is not the norm..... and that was something I heard straight from people on here and from friends who have had hysterectomys and my doctor in general.... So if you are offended by my comment... i feel no need to appologize.. I didnt mean any offense to anyone and if I did ... well... I told you what I meant by it... I didnt want sambull to get scared reading horror stories of what others have stated they experienced... that is all...
Unread 05-26-2004, 03:06 PM
I'm scared!

's Sam! Welcome to Cancer Concerns!

I'm so sorry that you are having problems right now. It's normal to be scared--this is a scary thing. You are talking about your future and how parts of it might be impacted by this unfortunate situation. Try to breathe so that you can step back and take a good look at the situation.

This could be an excellent opportunity to get a second opinion from a gynecologic oncologist. They are the experts when it comes to female cancers and precancers, and they know all the most current treatment and surgical techniques. If you think you might like to have another child, then you owe it to yourself and your family to learn about all of your options.

Has your doctor discussed the possibility of doing a cone instead of a LEEP? The benefits to that in your situation might be that they can potentially remove a larger section of the cervix and also, the margins (edges of the sample) will be clean--not blurred by the burning/cauterizing that the LEEP does. It might give them a better idea if all of the abnormal cells were removed or not.

Try to remain optimistic. It's quite possible that a second LEEP or a cone could totally correct this situation and you can go on with your life. In the meantime, build up your immune system. Get plenty of sleep. Eat well. Take a multivitamin (there is some research indicating that folic acid may help us women fight off dysplasia). Exercise moderately. Quit smoking (if you are a smoker). Pray/meditate/do yoga. All of these things are believed to build up the immune system to help build a healthier you!

As far as other women's stories, well, there are some nightmares out there--legitimate ones. Try to remember that MOST women have successful procedures and successful surgeries, and go on to lead healthy, happy lives. Everyone's body is different, and everyone's experience is different. And everyone's perspective is different, too. What one woman might think was a "walk in the park" might feel like a marathon on a 100 degree day to another woman, and vice versa. That doesn't mean that one perspective is better than another or more true than another, it just means that they are different perspectives based on that particular individual's life experiences.

Good luck, (((Sam)))! Please let us know how you are getting along. I will be keeping you in my thoughts and 'ers during this difficult time.

May we all find health, happiness, and peace!

Unread 05-26-2004, 03:14 PM
I'm scared!

Thank You Jeanine.... I guess if I would of said it that way it wouldnt of caused such a stink... you are right ... everyone is different and everyone does have their own opinion of experiences... and most people do have normal... recoveries and move on to have very healthy lives and so on. It would be wise to not get to scared reading other stories though... they can be different for everyone... in one way or another... good luck sam

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