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I was molested at the castle, I need hugs! I was molested at the castle, I need hugs!

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  #11  
Unread 06-16-2004, 03:16 AM
I was molested at the castle, I need hugs!



Dear TCS,

I truly understand your pain, as I am a survivor also. I have been a victim oh so many times. I was molested growing up by at least 2 family members and a friend of the family!! Also was raped at 12 by mothers boyfriend, again at 16 by my "so called" boyfiend...twice.. Then I was raped at 22 by 2 brothers.......So I truly feel your pain!!!

Please feel free to get in touch with me at any time to just chat or whatever is needed. I have not ever seeked professional counseling. I probably need to because I tend to loose control sometimes, especially when it comes to a child that has been sexually assaulted or sexually abused. I worry so much about my dd's. As it has been a proven fact that if "mom" was sexually abused/assaulted, a large percentage of "daughters" of those moms will be also! My mother was also raped - 2xs.

I have found that the more you talk about it, the better and more relief you can feel. It is definately hard...and embarrassing...but it does help. But as others have mentioned. You are already strong and a winner just for reporting it and getting the ball rolling for something to be done to that individual. I truly hope and know that all will be well. I guess the way I look at it (especially of my experiences), I wouldn't let that 15 or 20 minutes, or however long it occurred, ruin the rest of my life. I know it feels like has or it will.......but you hold the power!

Best Wishes....and Please talk to someone, even if it is just a friend or something. Don't keep things bottled up, it isn't healthy.....trust me I know!! I almost killed myself cause I kept it all bottled up inside (because I thought it was my fault) for about 15 years, before I actually told anyone about my problems......You need all the support you can get....and all your Hyster Sisters are here to give that support to you.......SO TAKE IT!! You are already brave and corageous for coming forward.....that is a start.

Take Care

Alle
Sorry this was so long..........
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  #12  
Unread 06-16-2004, 06:36 AM
I was molested at the castle, I need hugs!

Kim,

I am so sorry to hear what happened to you. I am sending all the that is possible to you and your family. I agree with the others as soon as your able to please seek conceling. I so wish I had the words to take you pain away. What you have gone through is just awful.

Like many others on this board I have also been sexually abused, when I was 4 by my babysitter and again when I was 17 by a so called freind. My parents know about neither. I tried to tell my parents when I was 4 in 4 yr old words, but they did not listen. By the time I was 17 I felt like it was my fault and went into a deep depression and wanted to kill myself. Even with the conceling they sent me to I never told the conceler because my father admired the guy that raped me when I was 17, his parents were well to do and he was well respected in the community.

You have all the support of your sisters. If there is anything and I mean anything I can do please let me know.

Your family is in my thoughts and prayers. God bless you!

Kim
  #13  
Unread 06-16-2004, 04:50 PM
I was molested at the castle, I need hugs!

(((Kim)))
Words cannot express the outrage and sympathy I feel for you. I am a survivor also. Your sisters are here for you. It sounds like you have some very strong support around you. Lean on them when you need to.
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  #14  
Unread 06-16-2004, 06:30 PM
I was molested at the castle, I need hugs!

Well these kind of sickos prey on the weak. I'm sure you were not the first, but thanks to your bravery, you may be the last. I am so sorry you had to endure this!

God bless you and heal your wounds: physical and emotional!

Lots of healing s
  #15  
Unread 06-16-2004, 07:20 PM
I was molested at the castle, I need hugs!

Thank you Sisters!

I'm going to have some counseling by phone untill I fell safe enough to leave my house. I had a friend take me to planned parenthood today to find out if I could contact anyhting from the pervert who did this. Although the likelyhood is small I will be tested for clamidia in 3 weeks, HIV and hepitis B in 3 months. I'm am not going to let this happen to anyone else, and not going to let this take my lively hood. I'm am sleeping about 4 hours at a time now, which is good for my body to heal. I still cry alot, but am also getting mad all the time too. I know theese are both nrmal and good for me, but it is still hard on me. I will keep you posted as I recover from both my injuries. Just hearing your kind words and personal thoughts mean more than I can ever say! thank you!
  #16  
Unread 06-16-2004, 07:58 PM
I was molested at the castle, I need hugs!

Kim,

Let me applaud you for filing charges. I wish I was able to, but when your mother and sister support her husband (my sisters husband not my mothers) and your sister encouraged him to continue touching you, your hands are tied. My oldest so called brother is a psychologist and took the purverts side over his own sister, even after I had police documentation he was stalking us. Now that Connecticut law has changed, if he ever did anything I can have him prosecuted and will do so with bells on. The last time I saw him was Dec. 27, 2002, the day we buried my mother and I made it very clear if he ever came near me I would see he gets thrown in jail so fast and they rape the heck out of him. Gee I hope it happens. When I told my social worker what I did and said she told me it is theraputic. So hopefully you will have the oportunity to make the jerk who did those aweful things to you sweat and end up in jail getting what he deserves. Whatever you do don't back down to him, be the winner. My motto is "Payback is a royal B****."

Hugs,
Toni
  #17  
Unread 06-17-2004, 11:13 AM
((((((hugs))))))

I am a survivor myself, from an abuse in a hospital (a long time ago). I know how utterly violating that can be.

What I've learned over the years (from that violation and a prior rape from a youth minister) is that he has to live with something far worse than I do. To be the abuser is something far more monsterous. I'm still "me"...I'm still loving, kind, intelligent, funny and I can live my life knowing I'd never hurt someone that way.
He has to live with what he has done.

Hang in the hun...and know that you are not alone!

Hugs,

Rita
  #18  
Unread 07-01-2004, 02:18 PM
I was molested at the castle, I need hugs!

Oh, honey - what a horrendous thing to have happened - I cried when I read your words. I am a survivor as well. I hope you are doing better now - I realize it is awhile since you first posted, but I came across your post while looking for something else - I just had to reach out to you!

s

Esme
  #19  
Unread 07-02-2004, 02:19 AM
I was molested at the castle, I need hugs!

Hi Ladies,

I wanted to say thank you again for all your support! I am staring to heal physically, but lately my nightmares are getting worse. I keep having dreams that other familt member are in the hospital and something goes wrong. When I try to tell the nurse about it they won't beleive me or they say " wacth out, she's the one who called the police on us". When I went for my post-op visit, which my dr office is next to the hospital, I had a panic attack. I know it will take time to heal, but I'm just so tired. I'm sorry this post isn't as possitive as my last, but I'm not sleeping well anymore. Hopefully that will change soon. Again, Thank you.
  #20  
Unread 07-02-2004, 06:55 AM
I was molested at the castle, I need hugs!

Kim,

On top of dealing with the normal healing process you are dealing with another such a horrible thing. The lack of sleep is part of the normal healing process from the hysterectomy, but in your case I kind of think it is that much more intensified by your other ordeal. While I am not a doctor, can I suggest you seriously talk to your doctor about something to help you sleep? Also talk to your doctor about what you are feeling emotionally and physically and see if he/she can offer you some other advice. You will get beyond this, you have us to help you. I wish I could say the pain will go away completely but I can't because, from experience, it may lessen as time goes by but will resurface whenever something reminds you of your ordeal. Hang in there hun. Know we are all here for you whenever you need us.

Great BIG Hugs,
Toni
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