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get to go to a gyn/oncologist! quesions get to go to a gyn/oncologist! quesions

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  #1  
Unread 06-28-2004, 10:47 AM
get to go to a gyn/oncologist! quesions

Thank you for all your posts on my laparoscopy question. My GYN will not be doing surgery now and has referred me to an gyn/oncologist in Birmingham because my CA125 test came back at 63. Are there any questions you can think of that I should ask him? My husband has come around now and no longer thinks there's nothing to worry about so that helps. It was a struggle feeling so bad and not having anyone to talk to.
I'm worried because I only weigh 98 pounds! Will the surgery make me loose a lot of weight? I don't have any to spare and I also hear that all cancer treatments make you loose weight too.
This is all happening so fast!
Also should I tell my mom what's going on? She tends to be very negative and falls apart very easily.
Thank you all so much for being there for me.
Kay
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  #2  
Unread 06-28-2004, 12:30 PM
get to go to a gyn/oncologist! quesions

Kay,
I am so glad to hear that you are being referred to a gyn/onc. Your CA125 is elevated, but not much. Many things, other than cancer, can cause an elevation that slight. The good news is that a gyn/onc will know exactly what it means and what to do.

Here's what I do before a gyn/onc appointment. I keep a small notebook in my kitchen and as I think of questions, symptoms, concerns, I write them in the book. If my husband has a question I can't answer, I write that down too. The night before the appointment I look through it and prioritize my questions. My doctor is so used to this that he sits and waits for my questions after he has examined me. We both make jokes about it now, but it has worked for me.

As for your mom, that's a tough one. I do think she should know, at some point. You may want to wait until after the appointment with the gyn/onc, when you will know more. When I was in treatment I found it very difficult to tell some people about my cancer because I knew that I would have to take care of those people. My mother was not alive when I was diagnosed but I knew that if she had been my cancer would have become all about her. It would have been the worst thing that ever happened to HER, unless she could pretend that it was nothing and try to convince me of the same. In either event, it would not have been helpful to me. I did not want to have to take care of anyone else's emotions. I could barely handle my own emotions. As a mother, I understand how awful it would be to have a child with cancer, no matter the age of the child. As a cancer survivor I know how unfair it is to expect the patient to take care of anyone but themselves. So, if you decide to tell your mother you need to be prepared for a less-than-helpful response. You also need to be prepared to set limits on her. You do not have to listen to her go nuts. You can tell her that you aren't feeling well, that the conversation isn't helpful, or anything else that will get you off the phone or away from her. While you are in treatment you need to focus on yourself, your own family, and getting this behind you. Use whatever excuses you need to avoid taking care of anyone. Your mother's an adult, she'll find a way to cope. It's not up to you to help her to figure out how. She should be focusing on what helps YOU, and not the other way around. If she falls apart, she'll have to do it on her own. Do you have siblings or a Dad or an aunt? Can one of them tell your mother about this and explain why she can't fall apart on you? Or go negative? Can your dad explain to her that this would not be helpful to you? When I had cancer I enlisted close friends, and my husband, to deal with negative people or anyone who I thought would drain my emotional or physical energy. You need a buffer between her and you. If she's going to go negative and overreact, she needs to do that with someone other than you. Let someone else take care of your mother. You shouldn't be worrying about her.

I can't help with the losing weight problem. I WISH I had lost weight when I had cancer, but I gained weight.

Please keep us informed about the gyn/onc visit. When will you see him?

Hugs,
Janie
  #3  
Unread 06-28-2004, 02:27 PM
get to go to a gyn/oncologist! quesions

[quote]Originally posted by Denton56
[b]Kay,
I am so glad to hear that you are being referred to a gyn/onc. Your CA125 is elevated, but not much. Many things, other than cancer, can cause an elevation that slight. The good news is that a gyn/onc will know exactly what it means and what to do.

Here's what I do before a gyn/onc appointment. I keep a small notebook in my kitchen and as I think of questions, symptoms, concerns, I write them in the book. If my husband has a question I can't answer, I write that down too. The night before the appointment I look through it and prioritize my questions. My doctor is so used to this that he sits and waits for my questions after he has examined me. We both make jokes about it now, but it has worked for me.


** Thank you Janie!
I will take your advice, my apt is this thursday.
Sounds like you know my mom too! I will rely on my dad and sisters to help her if they need to.
Will post after my apt. I have faith and I always rememberwhen I get scared that every single cancer at every single stage has had survivors!!

Kay
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  #4  
Unread 06-28-2004, 03:55 PM
get to go to a gyn/oncologist! quesions

Kay

I am glad that you will be having a gyn/onc doing your surgery. As far as the mother is concerned, I would go ahead and tell her after your appt with the gyn/onc, mainly because you will have any questions that you can think of answered and you would be able to hopefully answer any of hers. I waited until I visited with my gyn/onc before I told any one that I would have to have surgery, except my dh and a close friend. I waited until I talked to my parents until after mainly because I was afraid how they would react. I finally called them just a few days before my surgery becaused it happened so quick that even my head was spinning. I think that my mom would have shot me if I would have waited till after my surgery.

I would tell her that it could be cancer but you won't know until after the surgery. I will pray that it isn't. As they say the CA 125 is not a good dector in catching ovarian cancer as other problems can cause it to rise. Mine was 235 before I had surgery, and I didn't have ovarian cancer, but I did have cervical cancer (adenocarcinoma). But even other girls here on the board have had CA 125's in the 200's and up and it be caused by endometrosis, or other benign reasons.

I wish you the best of luck with the gyn/onc and hope that all your questions get answered even the ones you can't even think of.

God Bless
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