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Unread 07-08-2004, 10:16 AM

I had my pre-op physcial this morning and everything went fine. My TAH/BOS is scheduled for Tuesday morning. My problem is the my ds (6 yo) has a 3rd tumor appearing, which will need surgery again. We see his specialist tomorrow morning after his CT scan. DS has put himself on a soft diet again and is loosing control of his tongue (the tumor is putting pressure on the nerve). Am I being selfish hoping that we could wait 3 wks or even 2 wks after my surgery to have his? My dh had to go through hell to make it work that he would have a wk off w/ my surgery. It wouldn't work so well to have everybody (my dh, in-laws, and parents) change their schedules again to care for me when they all work and only have a little vacation time. My dh works at the same hospital that ds has his surgeries done so we don't need to change his schedule for that. I have just been stressed about what to do with his tumor and my surgery. It is just emotionally draining. I am tired, but can't sleep at night.
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Unread 07-08-2004, 11:21 AM

Being a mom to a 5yo ds, I can understand your dilemma. I guess I would have to question your sons docs. Can this wait for 3 weeks? OR should it be done immediately? Is there some reason you can't both recover together....since everyone will already be off on vacation to take care of you?

I will be keeping both you and your ds in my thoughts

Unread 07-08-2004, 11:54 AM

I was very saddened to hear about your son's tumour! My prayers and thoughts are with you but please do not feel selfish or guilty for wanting your surgery. Like others have said, maybe you could both have your operation at the same time and thereby be together for recovery. What a wonderful bonding period that would be for both of you even if you don't have energy. He will feel like you are sharing an experience, as hard as that experience can be:-(

You have my most sincerest prayers and hopes that all will work out and that you will both be cured forever!

Love Elfie
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Unread 07-08-2004, 12:17 PM

I would love it if we could be in the same hospital, but the hospitals are 25 miles apart. He has many allergies to meds. and food so we can't leave him alone for a min. The past 2 surgeries and an additional hospital stay they have screwed up many times. He also is in the hospital for a wk and has to come home needing a lot of care. It is never fun being there. I hope we can wait a few weeks!
Unread 07-08-2004, 01:27 PM

That would have been my advice also. Talk to your son's Dr. and see if you can wait 2-3 weeks. If not, have your family help you both at the same time. Good Luck. We woman have too many stresses in our lives!!

Unread 07-09-2004, 03:25 PM

I took ds to see his specialist today and the CT scan showed that the tumor is in a growth stage. I am clear to have surgery now and not worry that he will need one also right away. It is a relief! The specialist did order us to start taking ds to a behavioral modification therapist that knows pain and children. It is a medical problem (tumor with pain) and some psychological aspects. The specialist wants the therapist to get ds to start taking meds to help with his pain. I hope it works!
Unread 07-09-2004, 03:33 PM

Good luck! You have a lot on your plate right now. I hope things go well for all of you. Hugs and kisses.


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