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Please help -- feeling hopeless Please help -- feeling hopeless

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Unread 07-22-2004, 10:40 PM
Please help -- feeling hopeless

Much to you. I just want to say you are beautiful in Gods sight. You are the apple of His eye, precious, so precious to Him. Jerm. 29:11 says "I know the plans I have for you', declares the Lord, 'plans for peace and not calamity to give you a future and a hope.'

The suggestions made here for you are great. Listen to your and take care of yourself in whatever manner that you need to. We all are here for you. I too will keep you in prayer and I hope this brings some help to you dear sister.

With much love,
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Unread 08-02-2004, 10:33 PM
Please help -- feeling hopeless

Hi Annie,
I was 35 when I had my hysterectomy. Even though I had 2 children I still wanted more. I have done a great deal of grieving in the past 2 1/2 years. Although I still mourn at times, we are in the process of adopting a child. We are adopting internationally. My husband and I both feel like we are going to save a child's life. This is my light at the end of the tunnel. There is a child that will have a family because I had cancer.

I hope that you are able to find your "light" in this process. It is not easy but hopefully time will help you heal. I also agree with Ellen (Margaret 321) Therapy and antidepressants can help relieve some of the acute grief and anxiety.

Unread 08-03-2004, 03:55 AM
Please help -- feeling hopeless


Just wanted to share my story the let you know that life can shower you with unexpected blessings in the midst of loss. I was 29 and my husband 34 when we married in 1986. We struggled for many years to have children but it was not meant to be. Very unexpectedly my husband passed away from a heart attack at age 49 in 2001. I can't even begin to decribe the grief I experienced over loosing him coupled with the grief of us never having children together. By the Grace of God, and the support of wonderful family and friends I healed. About a year after my husband passed away, I met a wonderful man Frank via buying a car from him. He and his two adult children and grandson lovingly stood by me through my cancer diagnosis and subsequent surgery, and we are planning to marry next summer.
In retrospect, it was probably a good thing I did not have children with my husband, since they would have been so young to have lost their father, plus a great chore for me to care for them while being thrown into immediate menopause. Yes indeed, the last few years of my life have been quite a challenge, but blessings were thrown in to soften the blows. So please, hang in there and try to remain hopeful because there may be some wonderful blessing in store for your future that often arrive in the most unexpected ways.
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Unread 08-03-2004, 08:27 AM
Please help -- feeling hopeless


I'm right where you are. I was diagnosed with stage 2 pre-cancerous tumors on a Monday, and by Thursday was going though a TAH. Like you, my fertility has been stripped from me. i'm only 38 and had dreamt of having 3 little red-headed children someday with a man of Irish descent. Well, both dreams are dead as far as I'm concerned.

Go ahead and grieve. It's okay. Don't let anyone make you blame hormone swings either. I'm on the patch, but inside I want to scream, tear things up, throw things, and hit every well-meaning person who tells me "maybe God has a special plan for me," or "at least you're alive." Right now, that's little comfort 7 weeks out.

If you get to where you can no longer function, that's when you need to seek professional help.

And to everyone here who's words are well meant, I apologize.

Annie, I don't know about you, but I literally felt like control was stripped from me on my situation. I went in for a hernia surgery, where the mass was found to begin with. That surgeon told me, the next day on phone, that I had cancer, I would have a complete hysterectomy, go through chemo, and everything would be just fine! You'd have thought he'd said I was going to be given a chunk of chocolate and a million dollars.

He decided which doctor I would see. The doctor, a gyn/oncologist specialist, decided I should have surgery ASAP. I was in shock, so my mom decided we should just go ahead and get it over with. The only decision I got to make was whether or not to keep my uterus if it was possible. I had no time to think about anything, or about consequences of giving up that option, (although I think it was medically necessary in the long rung.) Anyway, I have felt that everyone else was in control of my life, and now I've had this horribly profound thing happen to me, and no one I know personally has been through exactly what i've been through. For my mom, her's was great because she was in her late 50's and had had her kids. She says my scar is beautiful. I look down and see a monstrous act perpetrated on my body. I feel like I've been gutted and thrown back on shore.

Sorry, I don't mean to bump you out further. I just know what you're going through. It's rough going, and it won't magically get better. I wish I had words of wisdom for you.

Let's pray for one another to have comfort and streangth. I usually post over in post-hysterectomy, and there are others there going through what we've gone through. You might check them out too.

God bless us both.


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