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Feeling Very Sad and Emotional (Warning: Big Vent) Feeling Very Sad and Emotional (Warning: Big Vent)

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  #1  
Unread 08-04-2004, 11:52 AM
Feeling Very Sad and Emotional (Warning: Big Vent)

I was cleaning out some old medications and came across a pack of birth control pills and was flooded with a ton of anger and sadness.

When I was 14, I told my mother that my periods (which began when I was 10) weren't normal. About 2 years before, she had taken the Midol away from me because she felt I was abusing it. I was taking it all the time due to the intense cramping and pain I was having.

She took me to the family doctor who asked me if I was pregnant! While my mother was in the room !! Now even if I *was* sexually active at 14, which, backwards little nerd that I was, wouldn't happen for a number of years, I certainly would not have wanted to say so with my mother in the room.

When I was 18 the college health center issued me my first pack of BC pills. They assumed that all young women want to take the pill so they can have sex without worry. They made me nauseous, bloated and stopped my periods altogether. I went off of them when I was in my early 20s

Since then I saw countless doctors who would put me on higher dosage pills, lower dosage pills, mini pills, tri phasic pills, peach pills, pink pills, white pills, any kind of pill because "it will regulate your cycle and in 3 months (or 6 months or a year) you'll be OK. "

I took them despite my own misgivings and desire to *not* pump myself full of hormones that I was sure weren't helping me and indeed, I was sure were making things worse.

Well, now 26 years later I have endometrial cancer and they're going to take my womb and my ovaries and I am not *OK*.

Seeing the BC pills this morning (which were given to me by yet *another* gynocologist about 2 weeks before my cancer diagnosis) made me soooooo angry. Since I was 14 I have been poked, prodded, spread, interrogated, drugged, cut and insulted and now I feel like I'm going to be raped and robbed of my sons and daughters.

I'm feeling very angry and hurt and immensly sad today. I feel betrayed by the medical profession.

"Bitter and Sad, Table for Two!"
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  #2  
Unread 08-04-2004, 12:43 PM
Feeling Very Sad and Emotional (Warning: Big Vent)

You're allowed to feel like you do, Everdean, and are certainly justified. It all really does bite, doesn't it?

I hope that you have (or develope over time) a sense of faith and security with your current doctors.

God bless,
  #3  
Unread 08-04-2004, 12:46 PM
Feeling Very Sad and Emotional (Warning: Big Vent)

HUGE 'S

I am sorry that you are going thru this. I wish that I could be with you and give you a big in person because I feel that you need that right now.

's

&

God Bless
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  #4  
Unread 08-04-2004, 02:08 PM
Honor Your Feelings

I always have found it helpful to honor my feelings when I'm having a bad time. I can see where those pills would bring back your long long history with them and the doctors. May you now have found the right doctor who will help you not just with the physical aspects of surgery/cancer but the eemotional ones as well. Ellen
  #5  
Unread 08-05-2004, 01:59 AM
Feeling Very Sad and Emotional (Warning: Big Vent)

Oh honey you vent all you need to....you have every right.

Really hope you now get the medical treatment you need and deserve.

Big Z and prayers coming your way xxxxxxxxxx
  #6  
Unread 08-05-2004, 08:30 AM
Feeling Very Sad and Emotional (Warning: Big Vent)

You are entitled to vent......it helps you work through your feelings!!

Sending you big hugs.... your way!!!!!

Karen
  #7  
Unread 08-05-2004, 09:15 AM
Feeling Very Sad and Emotional (Warning: Big Vent)

((Everdean)) I want to send s your way too. You are gong through so much now - facing a cancer dx, major surgery, etc. Upon finding ourselves in this situation, we all have experienced varying degrees of anger, sorry, sadness etc. and I think that it is good to express them by venting, etc. Sometimes just sharing our anger and fears with others who have been there can help a little. I hope you have developed confidence in you current doctors. If you are not seeing one yet, please consider seeing a gyn/oncologist since they are the experts in female cancers. Please let us know how you are doing.
s and blessings, peggiesue
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