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Ever seem like it was all a bad dream.. Ever seem like it was all a bad dream..

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Unread 08-09-2004, 07:19 PM
Ever seem like it was all a bad dream..

I didn't even suspect that I had a serious problem until I went in for a hernia repair and that's where the mass was found. Two weeks later, I was having a complete hysterectomy, including removal of my ovaries and cervix. I'll be going along thinking about someday when I have babies...and then it hits me all over again that I won't. I see that scar, or I scratch my stomach and feel it, and it hits me all over again. I'm just eight weeks post-op myself, but it feels like a lifetime has passed.

I am very fortunant that I had stage 2 pre-cancerous tumors, but I have been assured they can come back. The other day I felt a funny pressure in the front of my abdomen in about the same place where my right ovary had been, and it felt just like the ovary did right before it was removed. I could actually feel it pressing against the inside of my abdomen, but i thougt it was just my colon. I have to admit that this time when I felt that same sensation, I began to wonder if the tumors had already come back so soon, and grown so large so fast. This time however, it did turn out to just be my colon.

It will be long while before I am over the shock of what happened. I'm thinking of having a large pink flamingo tatooed over my scar if I can afford to do it.

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Unread 08-10-2004, 03:44 PM
Ever seem like it was all a bad dream..

You are right, Liz. That's what gets me down every time I start to waver in my faith..the uncertainty! There's just too many unknowns...so how can we be sure of anything? *sigh*

Fortunately for me, those thoughts come few and far between. I do much better KNOWING that I am getting cured, KNOWING that my doctor is the BEST, and KNOWING that God is not done with me here yet .

Yep yep yep. That's the truth!
Unread 08-10-2004, 05:09 PM
Ever seem like it was all a bad dream..


I like the way you think! I hope I can adopt your attitude!
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Unread 08-10-2004, 05:15 PM
Ever seem like it was all a bad dream..

Too soon yet for me yet !!! I will be having my second chemo treatment this Thursday. I just lost my hair, and have not been released to return to work till next Monday. I will be 6 weeks post op this Friday.

I feel the same way as equine.......i think i bore my family with all of my talk....but sometimes you just have to ........

I'm looking forward to the day when I can go a day or two without thinking about it !!!!!
Unread 08-10-2004, 06:39 PM
Ever seem like it was all a bad dream..

MOON..you can! Just keep telling yourself..."I am getting cured. I am getting cured. I am getting cured". There are some great audio tapes and cd's out there with positive affirmations. I listened to a GREAT one today during chemo: "Meditations for enhancing your immune system" by Bernie Siegel, MD.
VERY VERY positive. I borrowed it from my library.
If you are religious, Pray to your higher power for help. "ask and ye shall receive"
"I hope I can adopt your attitude!"

You go, Girl!

Basketnut, I hope your thursday treatment goes well. The day will come when this will all be a dream..or a nightmare?...for us when we look back upon what we've been thru. Remembering it in the PAST would be a good thing, doncha think?
I can't wait for that day! When it's all behind us.

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