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DS and I watched a show last night on Hyst DS and I watched a show last night on Hyst

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Unread 09-17-2004, 07:32 AM
DS and I watched a show last night on Hyst

Good morning Ladies,
I beleive someone else posted about 20/20 having a show on Hysterectomy, but cannot remember who! (Its called sometimers, not allthetimers!!) Anyhow, The Nature of Things came on last night and to further educate my son on hysterectomy, I figured I would sit and watch it with him. NoT is usually a fairly middle of the road program, showing both sides of the story.....

We snuggled up on my recovery bed, and started to watch. I was a little preturbed, because like what the other lady said about the 20/20 program was it was very biased, as was this one. My son learnt some very important facts. You ladies ready to be outraged?? These were the facts:
1) I will no longer be male or female, some sort of in-between gender. (WOW, am I ready for that one!! )
2) I will no longer have any sexual feelings, or libido! (Another great idea for me!! )
3)This is a very unneccessary surgery in 91% of the cases it is done in! (Yes living with chronic pain and anemia from bleeding to death is a much better way to go! )
4)I will gain weight, lose all 'womanly' feeling and will shun from society from being FAT, and UNWOMANLY! (rofl, i already feel that way but i sure dont shun society! )

5) And this was the kicker for my son: I will lose any and all maternal feelings, in other words I wont love my son anymore in that maternal way! (do i even need to respond to this one?? )

My son looked at me with a tear in his eye and said "Will you still love me after the surgery? I don't want you to have it done!!" My heart broke and I wanted to tell him I wouldnt have it. Instead I got tough with Ms. Heart and said to him, "I will be able to love you any day of the week, when we go for a walk, or go to the park. I will love you every day, every minute every second. I just wont be so crabby when I do it because I ache all over." I know in all the preparations I have done with him, are now undone. He has new and scary things to worry about. As do I....I dont beleive for one moment that I will change that dramatically, except in positive ways. I know many woman on here are so excited to be done with it, feeling better and can lead productive lives. I do not have the debilitating and prolonged bleeding, and only suffer for a few days. I feel terrible, but waited for the good part of it to come. And yes there was, a whole 4 minutes of the benefits of it.

Oh yeah forgot to add, hubby looked at me with a twinkle in his eye and said, you are going to gain weight? The standing joke with us is, he loves lil teeny blonds and redheads. I am a redhead by choice! and no where neat 120 lbs. (AT one point was 280, down to 240!) I just laughed and said, yes again, more of me to love, I was getting to skinny for ya anyhow!!! He loves me so much, he did NOT respond......

Any feedback ladies??
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Unread 09-17-2004, 07:46 AM
DS and I watched a show last night on Hyst

Well, at least we all know what we're in for. LOL

I think I hear a call to action. Anyone know a documentary film producer who would like to do a NEUTRAL piece on this surgery?

Today I am 3 days from "slice-n-dice" (as I've started calling it) and I feel like I'm going into labor! Is my hysterectomy necessary? Well, only if:

* I want to be able to sit on the floor and be able to get up again
* I want to ever sing again
* I want to be able to breathe freely
* I want to stop taking iron supplements for anemia
* I want to be able to live a life not dominated by bleeding from between my legs and pain!

I don't know -- sounds like "vanity surgery" to me. Although I am tempted to take a Sharpie and draw lines around my eyes like they are for plastic surgery, then declare, "Hey, wasn't I the winner on "The Swan"?

Unread 09-17-2004, 07:57 AM
DS and I watched a show last night on Hyst

((( Kat )))

Isn't it annoying when you hear such a one sided version about anything? My DH calls it "media sensationalism". I think it's done to get a bigger audience.

After a "good" friend told me that I'd no longer be a "woman" after my hyst my DH told me that a uterous was not what made us "women"! He said that it was a whole range of wonderful qualities that no surgery could ever remove.

I still enjoy being with my DH. Sex is just fine

I imagine that some hysts are not totally "necessary". But I am certainly not able to judge what is necessary or not for others. I think that the ladies and their dr's have the right to make that decision.

I haven't gained any weight at all since my hyst. In fact I lost several pounds at first.

Your answer to your son was wonderful. I had a tah/bso over 2 years ago and still love my DD's as much as ever. What does having a uterous or not have to do with maternal love anyway?

Your son and DH sound great. Please relish in the knowledge that you're loved and cherished!!

Best wishes.

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Unread 09-17-2004, 08:03 AM
DS and I watched a show last night on Hyst

Oh my!!!

I have to get a few things figured out in my mind now!

1) Just when I was feeling more girly and womanly and all that, I find out I'm not really a woman anymore??

2) I have to stop all those feelings I get now and can act on because I feel wonderful and sexy and all that...like I didn't pre-op?

3) I should have kept doubling over in pain and/or running for the bathroom every 20 minutes or whenever I sneezed, laughed, coughed...etc....could have kept getting procedures that made things worse? I didn't NEED to feel this good????

4) Ok...I did have a little relapse with the weight I had lost, but it's starting to come off again...but I shouldn't be losing it???

5) I don't love my kids anymore? Can't hug them? Can't enjoy all those "mom" feelings?

Well, all I can say to that program is: What utter tripe!!!!!

I'm just over one year post op and I can't agree with any of the garbage they spewed. I am on HRT and have no problem with mood swings or migraines or "not tonight, I'm hemorhaging" or memorizing where every bathroom in a 30-mile radius is or....

Get the idea?

Kat...tell your DS not to worry. I think you'll find most of us are better moms, wives, g/f's, etc. when we don't have all the health issues we've fought for so long prior to our hysters. We can really blossom and be the women we want to be...focusing on other things besides our Auntie Flo and her entourage.

Lotsa s
Unread 09-17-2004, 08:27 AM
DS and I watched a show last night on Hyst

ROFL ladies, nice to see you are as serious about it as me!! I still chuckle when I think of it. To think that the one woman on there (From...can you guess?? THE HERS website!!) puts all her femininity on her uterus. To me that is sad and pathetic.

I know many of these concerns are viable. Yes, SOME women may go through those things....SOME When every bone in my upper legs ache, when my uterus is going through labor all on its own, when I cannot move for pain, and I feel things dripping (sorry to be gross) I sure as H$%% dont feel very ladylike!! Or loving!! Or alive, well I do feel alive, just have hopes of not being alive soon lol.... If any of these things happen, obviously we have to compensate. I know weight gain is a hard thing to deal with for some of us, but being Big and Beautiful is ok with me. Being bigger, well I will just lose it again. Many of my friends have had this surgery and still love their kids, and are the same old chicks I used to know. I know that my libido can drop but then it has never been very high throughout the month, only for a few days, and you can all guess which days...:-(

I am thinking of a new wardrobe....a unisex one....and hey, if I am NOT A WOMAN anymore, does that mean I dont have to wear a bra?!?!?! Yeeessssssssss....hehehe
Unread 09-17-2004, 08:44 AM
DS and I watched a show last night on Hyst

Wow that is totally outrageous! Maybe everyone needs to flood this lady with letters! For someone to make those comments is just silly and uncalled for and obviously this person has NEVER ever had any of our experiences. If she had then I would like to believe she would understand why we choose to have this done.

I don't feel very "lady like" or "womanly" when I am bleeding and in so much pain I can't move off the couch. I also get very irritable and have the "leave me alone" syndrome as my friends call it. Then sex....well, let's not even go there. No desire whatsoever because let's face it....it hurts and I am not into pain! Thank God I have a husband who is understanding. And he wants me to get this problem taken care of. He wants me to be normal again.

Personally I can't wait until I have my surgery because my doctor says the pain I experience on a daily basis will go away and sex will be normal again (pain-free) and she even said there is a chance I will want it more.

So anyway, this person who did this program is a complete idiot in my opinon. As "real women" we should not allow someone of this attitude to make us feel badly for choosing to reclaim our lives!
Unread 09-17-2004, 11:04 AM
DS and I watched a show last night on Hyst

That show you watched was just plain stupid!!!! I am still very much a woman, with or without my uterus and ovaries. I still want to look pretty and feel pretty, to wear make-up and such. Arent these "female" things? I still want to have sex with my DH, although I cant yet. I love my two DD and my DS very much and cant wait to be able to go out and play with them. Now I will finally feel like it.

I am woman hear me roar!!!!! I actually feel very liberated, thank ya very much........LOL

Hugs to all my Sisters!
Unread 09-17-2004, 11:15 AM
DS and I watched a show last night on Hyst

I was telling a friend of mine about this and she made a comment to me that I never thought of........

Some people may think and say that if you don't have children that you aren't a real woman and that isn't fair or even true so see, just goes to prove how stupid some people are!

Just thought I would add that since I thought that was good point!
Unread 09-17-2004, 01:13 PM
DS and I watched a show last night on Hyst

It reminds me of what I was told when I was in ICU when my DD was born, and she was in ICU, about how I'd never "bond" with her since we had such a devastating delivery and I couldn't nurse right away (she had surgery and couldn't "eat" until she was a month old). This is the kid who, at 9, still wants "mom" to put her to bed every night, and will wait up for me when I'm out late.

As far as sex, well, you could ask my DH about last night...

I weigh about what I did before surgery, which is exactly right for me. I'm thickening through the middle a bit, but that's due to lingering GI issues and yes, some endo-related complaints.

I'm not sure what "womanly" feels like. I had the pregnancy from h*ll and didn't feel "womanly" then, either. And endo does not contribute to feeling that "womanly" is all that pleasant, either! Guys certainly don't have the suffering that endo causes. Not that I'd want to be a man, either, but I sure could have lived without all the dubious "joys" that being female has afforded me. Pregnancy nearly killed me, twice: ectopic once and hemorrhaging, then severe pre-eclampsia and HELLP syndrome the one time it actually worked. So, oh boy, I get to wear "nicer" clothes -- well, I wear scrubs to work anyway. I never did find that being female, physically, was such a great joy. I do like the compassion and intuition part of it though!

Is this a Canadian program, or was it on in the States as well?

Unread 09-17-2004, 04:32 PM
DS and I watched a show last night on Hyst

The Nature of Things is Canadian but someone else was talking about one, think it was 20/20. It just dumbfounds and amazes me how they can make these 'blanket statements' and get away with it. I am not a gurly girl, never have been, never probably will be. I was a tomboy. I still wear jeans, and am not a skirt person. I do however once in a blue moon, like to clean up and put on some purty clothes. I am all woman tho.

Not to be crude but I have this picture in my head. 6 months, surgery over, me getting out of bed scratchin as if I have [email protected] you know that picture anyone with a male in their life....

I dont see my life changing in many ways. I see no bleeding, which my son bleeds a lot, so it isnt a 'chick' thing. If I get lonesome, I will cut my finger. I see being able to wear my beautiful light beige skirt this winter ALL THE TIME!! I see wearing my lingerie any night I want to, if I want to. I see me being mom, loving my son for all I can, and being able to go play, not having to say "sorry hon, I just cant' and then feeling guilty cuz "its just my period". I see myself being happier and more productive, because the down days will be when they come, not every month. And best of all, I will be able to know in my heart and head I did the best thing FOR ME with the knowledge I had at the time. That gives me power as a woman, and a human. IF something goes wrong, I will deal with it. I have been through tough times before, and probably will again. With the love and support from friends and family, I WILL GET THROUGH as a woman, with grace and dignity.

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