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One Year Later... One Year Later...

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  #1  
Unread 09-26-2004, 09:01 AM
One Year Later...

It is now 1 year later and after my final visit in June to my surgeon, my pelvic floor has once again totally collapsed. There is no entrance vaginally. Not to sound gross, you can't even get a finger in there, much less a speculum. This was part of my problem before the hysterectomy. I had endo really bad so there was a blockage. (I had a TAH/BSO). After the surgery my doctor had said to do "dilation" exercises using a candle or whatever, but the pain was too intolerable. So now it has just plain shut down again and he said without more surgery there's nothing he can do. Well, I don't want more surgery and I'm not married so I am sexually inactive so I figure there has to be a male equivalent of me out there...you know, some older man with PD???? Sex isn't all that for me anyway, but a good hug and companionship is always great......Just wondering if there's anyone else out there with this particular problem......
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  #2  
Unread 09-26-2004, 01:35 PM
One Year Later...

Oh (((((sweetie))))) I am so sorry that you're having all these problems

I had a Stage III Rectocele that was repaired at the same time as my hyst and remember just how awkward dealing with a prolapsed organ all was. I can only imagine how you're feeling

While I do not have any insight for you (my repairs were successful, though I do have an issue with atrophied pelvic muscles and on-going incontinence), I did want to point you towards our Prolapse Resources Library, where you'll find links to websites specializing in this area. Hopefully, you might find some options other than surgery.

Sending tons of s your way and hoping that you find answers and relief some time soon.
  #3  
Unread 09-27-2004, 02:37 PM
One Year Later...

((((Maxxwayne))))

I am sorry to hear you are having this issue.

I can't help but wonder why you were not referred to physical therapy after your surgery and initial healing, instead of expected to do this on your own? It may not be too late for physical therapy to help you. You might has for a referral to a PT that specializes in pelvic floor issues and see if a nonsurgical route is doable.

Best of luck to you and speedy healing.

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  #4  
Unread 09-30-2004, 07:50 PM
One Year Later...

((((Michelle)))) that is a very good point you raise Unfortunately, when I was referred for PT, 2 1/2 years after my hyst, I was told by the therapist that if I'd been referred right after my surgery, I would most likely not have ended up with the incontinence issues I'm currently battling.

Unfortunately, in my therapist's experience, far too few gyn's refer women for this type of therapy. In my case, I was referred by my uro. If gyn's got in the habit of referring women for PT immediately after a hyst, especially a TVH involving repairs, lots of long term problems would be avoided
  #5  
Unread 09-30-2004, 11:46 PM
One Year Later...

Maxxwayne,

When you said, " Just wondering if there's anyone else out there with this particular problem...." are you talking about the collapsed pelvic floor or the part about wondering if there are any sexually dysfunctional men out there looking for companionship?

I don't have the collapsed pelvic floor, but I do have a rectocele from my TAH/BSO. Frankly, I believe the causes are not because of lack of physical therapy, but from removing our uteruses, but that's another story.

Anyway, I totally identify with you regarding male companionship. My surgery did so much damage that my sex life is over, permanently. How do you broach that subject with men?!? At what point, (should the occasion arise) do you tell a man you won't be able to have sexual relations? What are we supposed to do?
Of course, I've discovered that without the chemistry and pheromones, men no longer approach me that way. They come over based on looks but after a few minutes they lose interest. That never happened to me before. I know it's that undetectable sexual chemistry.

So back to your question, how DO we find men who just want companionship???

Anybody out there who fell in love and established a long term relationship AFTER an oophorectomy? ANYBODY? Please, give us some hope!
  #6  
Unread 10-01-2004, 02:31 PM
One Year Later...

  Quote:
Originally posted by Lucille in CA
Of course, I've discovered that without the chemistry and pheromones, men no longer approach me that way. They come over based on looks but after a few minutes they lose interest. That never happened to me before. I know it's that undetectable sexual chemistry.
I'm sorry if that's true for you, but it is not true for all of us who have had an oopherectomy. While I do have a wonderful dh and am not looking for another man, I can tell you that men do still find me attractive! We went to a wedding a few weeks ago and I dressed up a bit and I could see that there were some eyes on me. I was told that I looked very nice and I had to make a point of saying to a few men that "I am a married woman." So while my sex life may not be what it's suppose to be, due to my ongoing gastrointestinal problems, I am still attractive to the opposite sex. Dh ran to my side quite a few times that night. The oopherectomy did not take away my looks or my personality.

  #7  
Unread 10-01-2004, 08:03 PM
One Year Later...

Kim,

Read again carefully... I said they still come over and they are still initially attracted to me... but now, when it comes to the sexual part, the "CHEMISTRY" is not there anymore.

I was accustomed to great passion and sexuality and have never wanted for attention by men before, but now it is different. Science has proven the chemistry of sexual attraction time and again. We have all heard about the "chemistry of love" ... our music, literature and culture are full of references to it. When the scientist removed the ovaries ONLY of female monkeys, they noted that the male monkeys lost ALL sexual interest in the female monkeys. Also, scientifically, there is no question that scent (pheromones) play a huge part of our subliminal sexual attraction and that hysterectomy with the removal of the cervix changes our scent.

As for myself, maybe I should have elaborated more... I have no problems with men being visually attracted to me; I can chat with men all evening and I still have many male friends... but, alas, as a single woman who had to fight off men sexually before my surgery, that problem has ended. I have even discussed this with past lovers and they have honestly told me that "something" is different but they didn't know what. They have assured me it's not my "personality."

There is no doubt in my mind that a woman who is in a loving committed relationship before oophorectomy can maintain that relationship. (Truthfully, I would wonder if they did not notice any subtle changes in the chemistry of their relationship.) Clearly, any good relationship has to have ingredients other than pure lust. However, I think those of us who are single are facing an added challenge to form a relationship bond between male and female without the help of those important chemicals of the "chemistry of love."

I am still hoping to hear from women who formed such relationships AFTER oophorectomy to come forward and give me more hope.
  #8  
Unread 10-02-2004, 05:04 AM
One Year Later...

Well, I have been in the same relationship for almost 30 years, so no, I haven't been out looking. But . . . . as far as DH goes, he hasn't gotten the least bit less interested, and since my TAH/BSO there have been guys I work with who have strongly come on to me, I didn't know them before, they are people I've met in the 2 1/2 years since my surgery. I don't go barhopping, so I have no experience with being "hit on" in bars.

(((Lucille))) Is it possible that because of your feelings toward your hyst and your physical problems since, that you are sending out subconscious messages that they are picking up on? That's just a thought, no offense is intended.

My mother was a widow when she had a TAH/BSO back in the 70's. She later met someone new and remarried, and although we have never discussed sex lives, from what we kids could tell, they had a normal one.

Just my experience.
  #9  
Unread 10-02-2004, 06:24 PM
One Year Later...

Mary Lou,

I'm sure that's possible about the subconscious signals and as a scientific person, I am not ruling it out. However, I have tried to make a conscience effort to act the same as before. I even had a few dates with a man that used to bring me to my knees everytime he looked at me and sent sparks flying everywhere in my body when we touched. Try as I might, that burning desire for him is gone. I still "love" him and want to be with him, but there are no more sex dreams or sexual fantasies or burning desires for sex.

Since I posted the other night I did hear from two women who married after oophorectomy and one told me she and her husband are good "friends" but that she is not interested in sex and just lets him "do his thing" when he has needs. The other one told me her marriage ended in divorce because he said she was "frigid." (I asked them if I could say this on here and they said OK.)

It kind of scares me that I haven't heard from any others yet. Maybe after the weekend?
  #10  
Unread 10-02-2004, 07:58 PM
One Year Later...

My sister had her hyst (TAH/BSO) several years before I had mine. Around 2 years post op, she met a gentleman; they dated, fell in love, they married. Without knowing all the details, I do know that they have an active sex life.
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