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Need Help Getting DR To Listen Need Help Getting DR To Listen

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Unread 09-29-2004, 07:48 PM
Need Help Getting DR To Listen

Hi Sisters,
I am hoping you can give me some help AND nerve. I had a TAH/BSO 14 months ago. I still get achy, tenderness across the incision area. Some days aren't too bad, others I feel like a fresh bruise, just like 6 weeks post-op. Anyway, when I told the GYN this at three months when I developed a granulation he said it will take a while. Then I told him at 4 months and he said do sit-ups! The DR at my chiro's office felt the incision area last week, lying down & standing and he said to go back to GYN and ask for ultrasound lying & standing. Now the problem. I called GYN office, wanting to see the APRN, as she is very nice and listens. I was told I had to see the DR who did surgery. WHen I saw him numerous times BEFORE hyst., I gpt like 5 minutes, and he actually walked out when I was still asking questions! This pain is really getting me depressed, so now that I finally got up the nerve to make the appt., how do I get him to listen? What tests should I ask for? What do I say if he suggests another lap first? I am really very nervous about this, and I can't face another surgery! But the mind games this plays with me has taken a toll on my life. I know plenty of people who have has a TAH, and within 6 weeks were fine! Please, any advise would be sooo appreciated. Thanks
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Unread 09-29-2004, 08:43 PM
Need Help Getting DR To Listen

Hi there

It sounds like you haven't seen your GYN for about a year. If that's the case then hopefully he'll treat you a lot better than he did when he saw you at 4 months. This pain obviously needs checking out and I'd be really disgusted if he didn't see that after 14 months postop. I know you're nervous about seeing him again, but I guess you haven't got much choice other than to go to a new GYN....(have you thought of that possibility? Maybe another opinion is called for here).

By the way, I was 16 months postop before my tummy area no longer felt tender and bruised. It amazed me how long it took to go away. Mind you, you sound as though you're still in pain which isn't right this far postop.

All the very best and good luck with your GYN.

Unread 09-30-2004, 09:37 AM
Need Help Getting DR To Listen

Hello Whatsnormal,

I hope I can offer you some encouragement as I have also struggled along my own recovery. I totally understand how you are feeling. There have been many times both pre and post op that I have been very frustrated with my doctor brushing me off. I had to see her 3 times before she would take my complaints of painful intercourse and bleeding every two weeks seriously. I kept getting, "Oh, you are in your 40's. This is normal. Try different positions during sex and that might help with the pain during intercourse." It was my general practitioner who actually had to order up my ultrasound.

Although I am only 9 months post-op, I am struggling with some pain in my right abdominal area. It began at 8 weeks post-op and set me back to about the 2 week mark of my recovery. I gave myself 6 months to rest before resuming all my activities. Well, by the end of July, I started having the pains again.

So, I went to a new gyn. to see if a new doc. could give me a different perpsective on my problem. He basically said this is all normal and to be patient. I left a little frustrated and then thought, o.k. suck it up and deal.

Well, a month later, I went to my general practitioner, a.k.a. THE BEST DOCTOR IN THE WORLD!, and she actually examined my abdomen (the second gyn. never even looked at me). She kept repeating, this is NOT normal. I sat there and cried, thankful that she, once again, took the time to listen to me and act on my problem.

So, yesterday, I was at the hopsital for a not so fun CT scan(yucky prep stuff) so they could see if I have a hernia, a mass growing, or GI problems. I am waiting to see what the results show. I am a little nervous, and after reading so many posts here, I have the feeling that what I have is adhesions. The tricky part from what I understand is that they don't show up on a scan, only during surgery. So, in the meantime, I wait and try to be patient.

I would encourage you to keep trying to find your answers even if it means going to several different doctors until you find the right one. This is the best advice that a few close friends and my pastor had given me. So many times I cried, and was going to give up. Had it not been for these special people and the care and concern of my GP, I think I would have sunk into the deep pit of depression.

Hang in there, whatsnormal. I'll keep you in my prayers.
(sorry if this was too long winded!)
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Unread 09-30-2004, 10:07 AM
Need Help Getting DR To Listen


I am so sorry you find yourself with a doctor who has brushed off your concerns. IMHO, you either need to have a 'come to Jesus' talk with him or get a 2nd opinion. Depends on how important it is to you to make your original doctor validate your pain.

I've had some of the brush off kind of doctors and it hurts your feelings, doesn't it? Didn't doctors get in to this to heal people, to fix them? Some of them just are in the wrong profession if you ask me.

Luckily, my current doctor, while not a saint, is a "fixer". If anything, he cares so much for his patients well being that he takes it all too personally. However, I'd take him over one who'd brush me off any day. He's a keeper!

My advice ... 2nd opinion, 3rd opinion and 4th opinion - until you find a doctor committed to your well being. Call the nurses on the OB/Gyn floor and ask who their gyn is and why they like him/her. You will probably get an earful.

Keep us posted!!!! We do care about you and hope you get the care you deserve!
Unread 09-30-2004, 10:10 AM
Need Help Getting DR To Listen

I cant offer you any advice as to how to get him to listen but I sure cn sy its time to move on . I left my first gynae because I foudn him impatient .

My current one is a gem and should be given saint hood

A GP who knows him said hes pretty protective of his patients and i have to agree . He even takes emails quetions to save me a trip to his office

(((HUGS))) I think its time to go Dr hunting. In the meanwhile you shouldnt be in this much pain so far along. Would a trip to t he ER or GP help get another referral ?

Unread 09-30-2004, 10:37 AM
Need Help Getting DR To Listen

You described my gyn to a t! Same thing, always at the door on his way out when I am still asking questions off my list. I am getting tired of it and think I need to start looking for someone else as well, but I have been putting it off because he knows my situation and did the surgery. I don't want to have to "tell it all again" with someone else if I can help it. Now I am wondering if there are many out there who WILL listen. Take care and good luck.
Unread 09-30-2004, 10:42 AM
Need Help Getting DR To Listen

I'll tell you what I would do, if I wanted to retain my current gyn for practical purposes or continuity of care:

First, when I call to make the appointment I would ask the appointment scheduler to tell me the different lengths of appointments the office books, for example: 10 minutes, 20 minutes, 30 minutes, etc. I would tell him/her that I have many serious concerns, and need to book two back-to-back twenty minute appointments, for example. The next thing I would do is take some time to create a "checklist" of my questions and concerns, and have it in a thick folder of other printed information downloaded from various medical websites. When the doctor sees me armed with information, he will know I am "serious." Finally, when the doctor walks into the office, I would start the conversation by saying, "I booked a forty-minute appointment with you today. I am feeling unwell and I need to feel better. If you are not interested in helping me, or are incapable of helping me to feel better, I would like you to recommend a top specialist in your field who I can see. Here are my problems." Then I would hand him my checklist with all of my symptoms listed.

Many s and Best Wishes to You!
Unread 09-30-2004, 12:57 PM
Need Help Getting DR To Listen

Great ideas, ((((Carmen)))) !
Unread 09-30-2004, 03:04 PM
Need Help Getting DR To Listen

Carmen, that is the best idea I have ever heard! I really think that I will try it next time for sure. I had been thinking about saying something to him before, but now I have a really good way to go about it tactfully!
Unread 10-01-2004, 01:22 AM
Need Help Getting DR To Listen

Here's another tip: Take someone into the exam room with you! (If you take a husband or boyfriend you will fare better) Make sure whoever goes with you will give YOU support and VALIDATE your concerns to your doctor. You will be amazed at the difference in your doctor's manners when there is a witness to his behavior.

Take a tape recorder with you and ask if you can record the visit so you will be able to remember everything discussed. At least take notes (visibly) and always ask for a copy of your records.

However, you said something that makes me wonder if you shouldn't seek another opinion... you said, "WHen I saw him numerous times BEFORE hyst., I got like 5 minutes, and he actually walked out when I was still asking questions!" If he wouldn't give you the time and attention you deserved BEFORE doing major, irreversible, life changing surgery then I wouldn't expect any better of him when you present with complaints following the surgery. He's already shown you his true colors, don't get your hopes up that he will change.

I hope you get some help soon from a caring, competent professional.

Best wishes,

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