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  #1  
Unread 10-20-2004, 05:40 AM
Losing it?

Another new person to the site and thank you so much for being here! I have one week to go until my TVH and I feel like I'm losing it a little which makes me mad at myself. I'm very strong and independent and I'm a careGIVER by nature and vocation (occupational therapy practitioner) so the thought of people wanting to coddle me makes me feel like I'm smothering before the time even gets here. I know I should be grateful for their concern and their desire to "return the favor," but I just like to be left alone when I'm under the weather even if it's just a cold. I can't imagine people sitting around watching me sit around. If I'm not snapping at someone, I'm crying (which makes me mad and makes me cry even more) and I'm finding myself withdrawing from everyone around me. My husband is at a loss and my family, generally very close, are pretty silent right now. I beginning to feel like an ungrateful nasty person for hermiting away like this, but I feel like I just need cocoon time to prepare myself. Has anyone else felt this way or am I really truly ungrateful? How do I help my family and friends understand how I feel without making them mad at me? It's not that I want them to go away totally...I just need to settle into all of this and feel sort of silly about that since so many women go through this every single day and do just fine. I don't want to be a wimp.
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  #2  
Unread 10-20-2004, 05:56 AM
Losing it?

Your not a whimp - just going through the normal emotions we all go through before undergoing this surgery. We all dont fret over the same things but none the less we all fret. Do what you can but be glad you have support should you need it - some gals here don't. I too went through what you are going through just needed some time to prepare myself emotionally for the surgery, this is not a bad thing - even though your family is not having the surgery it does effect them, my 16 yr old daughter really had a tough time until she seen I was going to be ok with all this - family also needs time to prepare emotionally. Let them lavish you with love and care - it wont last long believe me I am almost 6 weeks post op and the help gets more scarce by the day Prepare and take care - thank your lucky stars for a family that cares.

  #3  
Unread 10-20-2004, 06:11 AM
Losing it?

I have been going thru some very similar things. I thought it was just me LOL I have been grumpy, moody, cry at the drop of the hat, you name it, I thought I was nuts. I got myself geared up for surgery and then it was cancelled at the last minute (I mean, I was in the hospital in a gown and then they cancelled it).Talk about emotions !!!!! I think that I literally lost it for about a week. I couldnt eat, sleep, I was nauseous all the time. I have lost a good bit of weight from this.(that is NOT a bad thing LOL)
Now here I sit with a new appt with a new dr TODAY and have got to get myself ready again. My family is having to put up with my crazy emotions and behaviors and I know that I am not my ususal self. Even though I know that I need this surgery and am not particularly attached to my uterus, it is an emotional surgery. I too prefer to be by myself when something is wrong. Even when my father passed away, I just wanted my husband to get away from me and let me grieve alone. I try not to hurt his feelings but I have to deal with things in my own way in my own time.
What you are going thru is normal, we all deal with things in our own unique ways. It will get better. YOur family will just have to be patient with you.
best wishes
missy
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  #4  
Unread 10-20-2004, 06:44 AM
Losing it?

Thank you so much, Missy. Crying again!!! LOL at the same time. Like you...I'm not particularly attached to this uterus that has given me nothing but fits for the past 5 years, but it is somehow extremely emotional. I'm so glad I'm not as far from normal as I was beginning to think. I'm reminded of that old movie line..."I Vant to be alone!" I hope that this go round for you will take place and all will be well so that you won't have to gear up to slam on the brakes again. Thank you thank you for your message of encouragement. We'll make it sister! We aren't alone after all, huh?!
  #5  
Unread 10-20-2004, 06:49 AM
Losing it?

Sister6,
You have alot going on right now.....physically and emotionally.
Don't be so hard on yourself.....take the time you need, try to explain to your DH that you don't know why, but you just need some alone time.
I will be praying for you.....that God will fill you with His peace. Praying that God will help you to sort out your feelings. Once you sort them out, you may be able to enjoy your family more before your surgery. May God bless you and hold you as you go through this time. He does know the outcome of your surgery, He is in control of all things, trust Him.



Nancy
  #6  
Unread 10-20-2004, 07:53 AM
Losing it?

Hi,
I'm scheduled for next Monday 25th and I'm going through a lot of what you are right now. I've been real irritable the past week or so too. Didn't help that I had to have 1 more bad period at this time either. But the more anxious I get the more I am trying to find comfort in my husband. He has been so supportive. Husbands feel very helpless in this kind of situation. They want to help but just don't know how or what to say. If you are honest with him about your feelings I'm sure he will do whatever he can to make you the most comfortable. The women at this site have been my saviors too. I can talk and ask them anything, and so can you. I also talked with my dr. and he gave me a prescription for something to help my anxiety and it has helped a lot. I know I only have a few days left and as it gets closer I feel like I have to make sure everything is all in order before I go in. That in itself is stressing me out and I need to realize that the world won't end with me laid up for awhile. Remember, everything we go through can only make us stronger. God Bless and I will keep you in my thoughts. Good luck.
Gaylee
  #7  
Unread 10-20-2004, 12:39 PM
Losing it?

Can't say enough how grateful I am for all of you! I'm laughing and crying all at once to feel so not alone when I want so much to be alone and you actually understand that!!! I am grateful for my family and I feel bad when they don't understand that need for alone time, but don't seem to be stating things very well right now so I only come across crabby. Gaylee, I'll be thinking of you and praying for you on Monday and I'm with you on that one more bad period. I think that helped me know how much I really need this. Actually not a bad thing all in all. I just received my copy of "Through the land of Hyster" today so I'm thinking things might smooth out...LOL again!! Thank you thank you for being there. Oops...crying again...LOL!!!
  #8  
Unread 10-20-2004, 01:13 PM
Losing it?

Boy, do I know what you are going through!

I am really grumpy right now (and find myself crying too at times), I have convinced myself it is just a combination of the stress of the upcoming surgery and the relief that hopefully next Tuesday will be the beginning of a new, healthier chapter in my life.

And Aunt Flo had to visit again, for one last Bash at me before the surgery scheduled for next Tuesday the 26th! No afinity for my Uterus here either... "be gone!", or "out, out danged spotter".. LOL

I also am a person who would really perfer to be alone when I don't feel well, and I do NOT EVEN like the thought of anyone having to help me, with much of anything.

Everyone is being nice, offering help, wanting to be "there for me" and all I can think of is "thanks, but no thanks". However the reality is, with three kids, ages 14, 12 and 5, I am going to need some help the first few days home. I just want them to leave me in my bedroom and only come around when I ring the little bell. (ok, there is no little bell, maybe they should only bother me when I hollar at them?)

We will get through this! Right?

Hang in there!

Michele
  #9  
Unread 10-20-2004, 06:13 PM
Losing it?

Oh my goodness! I can't believe how much good all of you have done for me in two days! I feel so much better just to hear that others understand the desire to be left alone! I feel like people are trying to put me in a cushy little cage like a sick bird and I have a week to go! Should they make me a comfy bed on the couch or get this...do you think we should get a hospital bed for downstairs for a few days? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! I think I'll get a BIG bell...a gong maybe...and ring it when I vant to be alone instead of ringing it when I need them to come! I've gone from the crying and mad thing today to an almost manic phase. Poor nurse called me to do pre-op questions and when she told me my "ovaries would be in shock for a little while after surgery" I laughed so hard I finally had to hang up. I don't know why that strikes me so funny, but please...my ovaries in shock! I have this picture of little buggy-eyed faces on them or something. She really just meant that they might over-produce for awhile since they won't have any response from production, or some such thing, but I still can hardly breathe it makes me laugh so hard. See? Hysterical!!! I guess we all know where THAT word comes from now!

Yes, Ladies...Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday...we will all get through this!

Angie
  #10  
Unread 10-20-2004, 06:36 PM
Losing it?

Sister6, we are having surgery on the same day. I logged on to this site because I just had an emotional breakdown, bawling my eyes out. My DH came over to give me a hug and I shrugged him off, which was insane because earlier today I told a friend I was feeling so alone! If someone else tells me everything is going to be fine, I think I'll get so angry I'll burst into flames. And I'm not worried about dying. I'm not worried about the surgery, per se. I don't know what I'm worried about, or even if I'm worried!

I'm having my period this week, so if I was wondering WHY I want/need this surgery, I don't have to question anymore. I've been in horrible pain. I WANT this to be over. I know I'm done with my uterus. It's been a pain in my life ever since I've started having periods. As a teen, I'd vomit on the first day of my period. It's been downhill from there. I should be clapping my hands and having a celebration because I'm finally getting rid of my pain, but instead I'm crying my eyes out, biting everyone's heads off, and feeling like I'm totally out of control. I know everyone is going to be glad I'm gone to the hopsital, just because they get some relief!
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