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What to tell child??? What to tell child???

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  #1  
Unread 10-25-2004, 02:32 PM
What to tell child???

Hey Ladies,

My time is drawing near (Nov. 4th) and I am having a hard time trying to decide what to tell my 7yr. little boy. He is very close to me and I'm not real sure how he will handle this.

Does anyone have any suggestions on how to prepare your young children????

HELP!!!!!
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  #2  
Unread 10-25-2004, 02:44 PM
What to tell child???

Well, my youngest is 5, my oldest is 14, 12 year old in the middle. WIth the two older ones I explained pretty much what was going on, not extremely graphic, but I let them know the basics about the surgery, about my recovery time.. that kind of thing.

With the 5 y.o. he just knows I am going to the Dr., and that he gets to stay with friends. He is excited about that. However this morning he said, "I'm not happy you have to go to the Dr., just happy I get to go to Margies and play games." What a sweetie!

Good luck.

MIchele
  #3  
Unread 10-25-2004, 02:50 PM
What to tell child???

Thank you Shell 84!

Best of luck to you and I will keep you in my prayers!
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  #4  
Unread 10-25-2004, 02:52 PM
What to tell child???

Thanks!

And, I did not notice your name was Seetiesmith when I said my son was such a Sweetie!

No, pun intended.

My thoughts will be with you too.

Michele
  #5  
Unread 10-25-2004, 03:12 PM
What to tell child???

My children are grown, but I have worked with young children for years. When you decide how much you little one can handle, do sit him down and explain that you are going to have an operation to help you feel better, and tell him how long you will be gone, and your physical limitations when you get home. Preparing him will help him cope with it, and make it a lot less scary. I was 11 when my mother had my younger sister (I was the baby of 5 at the time) by C-section. I was totally unprepared for when she came home. I felt totally confused by her limitations and it scared me to death. If they had just told me ahead of time what to expect, I would have been fine...

I hope all goes well, and your little guy handles it well.
  #6  
Unread 10-25-2004, 03:25 PM
What to tell child?

I am going into the castle on December the 19th! I also have children, a girl of 12 and a boy of 8. Although my daughter has known from the start I only told my son yesterday because he is already making his christmas list (as they do) and I felt it was only fair to explain that I might not be home in time for Christmas morning. He has taken it in his stride but does not fully understand the implications yet I think. Children cope better than we imagine and hopefully will appreciate us more when were back on form. I must admit I am more worried about MRSA than anything else....................
  #7  
Unread 10-25-2004, 04:34 PM
What to tell child???

I have two children a boy of 7 1/2 and a girl of 4 1/2. My son has always been like a little old man - knowing beyond his years. He is also sensitive and loves his mummy ( well trained!)
I am a midwife, my husband a paramedic and we have always been open and honest with him. I explained to him exactly what was occuring, he asked a few questions and that was that, he didn't seem to concerned and I did wonder at the time if he had taken it all in.
My daughter was told that mummy's tummy was a little bit broken and that one of the doctors at work was going to fix it, she didn't seem worried.
The surgery went ahead as planned, the children were fine, they got bored coming to the hospital to see me and when given a choice between mummy in hospital or tea with my friend and family they went to tea - I was so upset they chose her over me but as my friends pointed out it showed that they were comfortable with all that was going on.
The recovery tome at home was uneventful and they were always concerned that I was doing too much - they often threatened to tell Daddy that I was doing something naughty - eg. putting a glass in the dishwasher !
Going back to my son he did understand what I had said to him - 4 - 5 weeks after surgery my daughter asked if we could have another baby when my tummy was better. My son answered for me, he said that no we couldn't because the doctors had taken mummys uterus away and that is where babies grow !! He was very matter of fact about it and had obviously taken in and thought about the information I had given him 8 weeks before.
Be as honest with your children as you can - you as the parent will know their limits. Honesty is the best policy.
I always remember a good friend saying that the first time her son heard thunder and asked what it was she started to tell him it was god moving the furniture around, as her mother had told her. She then stopped and told him the truth - she said it would save him learning the disappointing truth in the future !
  #8  
Unread 10-25-2004, 05:22 PM
What to tell child???

told both my boys 9 ,11 the whole truth and nothing but. They understand and I've showed them pics. THey were great in the hospital, and four weeks later, theyre still great , with helping out and doing what needs to be done. Why not tell them the truth, better to hear it from you than some one else.

Good luck
  #9  
Unread 10-25-2004, 05:32 PM
What to tell child???

I have two children who were 6 & 7 at the time of my surgery. I was in a lot of pain the 2 months prior to my surgery. So I just explained to them that I was going to the hospital to have an operation to get rid of the parts that were causing pain. I did let them come to the hospital the day after surgery for just 10 minutes so they could see that I was okay but that I needed a lot of rest. They handled it great! Good luck.
  #10  
Unread 10-25-2004, 05:54 PM
What to tell child???

Sweetie I am going in for a TAH on Nov 17th, and I have a 7 year old as well. They actually understand much more than we may give them credit for. She overheard me telling someone else, and so she started to tell people. I was amazed at how much info she retained. I sat her down and explained to her that the surgery is going to help me not be in pain anymore, and I also explained to her what the uterus was for. She totally got it. Just be straight forward and honest with them, they will be more appreciative!
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