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Even More Confused! Even More Confused!

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Unread 11-04-2004, 12:20 PM
Even More Confused!

Having read other messages on the site, I realise we are all being given varying 'advice' regarding our operations. I thought I had it pretty much under control (or as much as possible anyway!) when a friend's mum who had a hysterectomy years ago said to her that I should avoid this at all costs and hysterectomies should only be done if it's a case of cancer. I know she meant well, but I'm so mixed up now and feel really confused. My friend didn't want to worry me but felt, as my best friend, that she should pass this message on. Her mother also said that it's a very painful operation and emotionally draining too, but I kind of expected that anyway.

I suffer from endo and my consultant also suspects Adenomyosis due to the fact I am suffering from constant bleeding and severe, stabbing back pains too. I am not 'doubled up' in pain like my sister is when her endo flares up, but nevertheless, the constant bleeding and back pains are ruining my quality of life - and my poor hubby suffers too, in more ways than one! He's been great and tells me not to listen to so-called 'good advice' but it's still worrying me to death. I try not to let these gynae problems colour my life, and at times I get the impression that people think I don't 'deserve' to have this surgery (particularly my sister and Mum) - as crazy as that may sound! My sister was lucky enough to fall pregnant twice despite her endo, so I can't understand why she's so resentful and cold towards me regarding my surgery. I've supported her through two pregnancies and never resented her for a moment. I'm just glad that, if only one of us could have babies, it was her and not me, as I'd hate to see someone I love so much go through all the heartache and disappointments that I have. I also love my nephew and niece to bits and couldn't love them more if they were my own. I'm seeing my GP tomorrow - he's been encouraging me to have this TAH for the last 4 or 5 years, as he says it really is the only sure-fire way to stop all my bleeding problems and possibly the awful back pains once and for all. None of the other treatments have worked or given me lasting relief and so this really does seem the only option. I trust him and my consultant, but I'd appreciate any advice and feedback I can get.

I have been married for 8 years and put off the hysterectomy due to the fact that we were still hoping for a baby, but now (at 41) I realise that the chances of that are becoming smaller and smaller. In some ways I almost feel that the 'thousand or million to one' chance of me falling pregnant has now become harder to live with than the knowledge that, after the surgery, there is NO way it can happen. My consultant told me he has heard that from many women in my position, and understands completely. The monthly disappointments and constant advice that 'if you relax it will happen' have driven me to distraction over the years! Being told to 'relax' almost implies that my inability to conceive is my fault - which I know it isn't of course! I've now decided to put all this behind me and concentrate on the things I do have - my wonderful husband in particular!

Anyway, I'm sorry to waffle on like this but I just needed to 'talk' and I know my hyster sisters are there for me and understand (hopefully!) how I'm feeling. I'm thinking of you all and praying for you too. Take care.

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Unread 11-04-2004, 12:35 PM
Even More Confused!

Thats what were here for you 'waffle' as much as you like.
As for what a friend of a friend says, thats her opionion not your Dr's, who has been telling you to have this op for the last 4/5 years.

Sorry but what business is it of theirs anyway its your body.
This is the type of thing I ignor on a regular basis working within the medical profesion.

s to you & as you DH says ignor them.

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