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Unread 11-18-2004, 03:06 PM
Am I nuts?

Geeez, I am becoming very anxious.

I am scheduled for TAH on the 30th of November and I am now trying to figure out how to have a child, frantically, internally…..

I am 46, don’t have any children, I have never been married and I don’t make enough money to support myself, let alone a child………….but……… I am wondering if I should have this surgery or not.

I am diagnosed with adenomyosis and my periods are horrendously painful. This has been going on for over a year, beginning with bleeding for over 8 weeks straight. I had a D&C last October and since then, I have become fairly regular, but the pain is now excruciating, but only 2-3 days out of the month.

Am I being silly? Is it necessary for me to have the operation or is this normal pre-op ‘doubt’????

I am also going through depression at times over losing my uterus and this being soooo final.


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Unread 11-18-2004, 04:43 PM
Am I nuts?

Hi there

I think most of us start having those niggly doubts as our surgery date gets closer. I mean let's face it, having surgery is no walk in the park and no one does it lightly I'm sure. It's perfectly natural to be feeling how you are right now.

That said though, it is absolutely final as you say. Only you know what pain and discomfort you're prepared to put up with as you're the one who has to live with it. In your case, as opposed to someone with a possible cancer diagnosis or someone in a life threatening situation, your surgery is elective. If you are in any doubt at all that it's the right thing for you, then don't have it. You can always change your mind further down the track. Have you had a second opinion? Maybe that might make things clearer in your mind.

You're definitely not being 'silly' over all this. It's a huge decision to make and it's very final.

I wish you all the very best in whatever decision you make.

Unread 11-18-2004, 05:41 PM
Am I nuts?

Hi Tia,

I was 46 when I had my surgery and I had some similar feelings. As Silverfern and you said, it is final.

And that being said, for me my hyst gave me back my "quality of life". In pre-op, I had fibroid pressure 24/7, heavier periods, bladder incontinence and a feeling of tiredness all the time. I felt 86 instead of 46. Now, I am fibroid free, no periods, no b.c. and I have my energy back.

So...maybe knowing you are having a hyst to get your health back can be reassuring.

I agree with Silverfern. Get a second opinion if you feel surgery is not the best option for you right now. I got two opinions and it helped me make a better choice for myself.

On having a baby...things could happen in the future. You could maybe look into adoption. There are so many babies in the world who would be lucky to have a loving parent like you. Or maybe you will get an opportunity to be step parent. I have a biological DD and a step DD. They are total opposites and I love both of them so much. So children come to us in "different" ways.

Best wishes,

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Unread 11-18-2004, 05:52 PM
Am I nuts?

P.S. Tia

Check out the Endo/Adeno: Stories of Truimph over Pain forum, if you haven't already.

To find it, go to the "Hysters Sisters Posts From the Heart" area and click on that line then scroll down. Forum is tucked inside.

Unread 11-18-2004, 06:11 PM
Am I nuts?

Thanks so much for your replies

This is my second opinion already. The first said she was going to take discussing it....

This new doc says i can keep my ovaries, which is what i was hoping for but I had no clue about the vaginal op instead of cutting.

I think i need to have a talk with him.

I am so glad to be here....

oh, and my name is not Tia...........TIA = Thanks In Advance.....
Unread 11-18-2004, 06:33 PM
Am I nuts?


Sorry about your name. Ooops.....................................!!!

I could suggest checking out the vaginal surgeries. The LAVH (Laparoscopic Assisted Vaginal Hysterectomy) and the TVH (Total Vaginal Hysterectomy). The surgery I had is listed below.

You can go to the More Hyster Sisters! link on the top right hand corner and scroll down to abbreviations. Goes over different kinds of hysts.

Unread 11-19-2004, 07:23 PM
Am I nuts?

Hi there, I am feeling a bit low this evening so I though I would check out aching hearts...

TIA - I had to mourn the loss of my uterus even though I was pretty much done with it! I am 40 and it just feels too young! I remind myself all the time that things could be so much worse and that other than this bump in the road, I am healthy. I know that once I am fully recovered my quality of life will be so much better. I too had bleeding and pain. But you know, it is still a loss and surgery is traumatic. Make the best decision you can by talking to several doctors and your closest allies. I had the LSH two weeks ago and am on the mend. Good luck.
Unread 11-19-2004, 08:57 PM
Am I nuts?

Maybe I'm nuts! I'm 41, married with no children and through my process with this surgery, the thought of not or never having a child hasn't entered my mind. I guess I'm not the maternal type and maybe I should be ashamed to say that! My closest friends have a sweet little boy and I love him dearly. I spent some time today sitting with him and boy did he have me on the go...he's almost 2. I had blood taken today and showed him my "booboo" and he came over to me and kissed my melted my heart! Then we fought over tongs that I didn't think his mom would want him to play with, he wanted cookie after cookie after cookie and I knew one was plenty! I was a wreck by the time I left and on my drive home, I thought as much as I love him, I don't feel I could or have it in me to be a mom. It's weird and I wonder if I'll feel differently when it's all over........

I think you should give it some serious thought if your having these feelings. Like other posters have said, this is final. I'm looking forward to the flood gates being sealed forever...even though they don't open monthly and hoping I just feel better all around.

Take care


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