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Mother-n-law? Mother-n-law?

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Unread 11-21-2004, 12:41 PM

Hi Gals! As you all know I will be having a TAH/BSO 12-21-04. My Mother-n-law came over last night and was talking about Christmas and me. I said I doubt I will be up to any partying 3 days post op. That I plan to keep a low profile for at least 6-8 weeks or longer cause that's what my GYN said. She tells my DH that "This surgery is no big deal and I should be able to get up and going." She proceeds to tell him and me that "she had no problems when she had her TAH/BSO (probably 30-40 yrs ago, she is 73)." She is normally a sweet and understanding person. Now my DH thinks I will be back up and running after surgery 3 days post op. UGH! All I know is that when I had my Lap. Gallbladder surgery I hurt for a good month or longer and did not return to work for 4 weeks (would have been six weeks but talked Dr. into my release and I payed the price for that with alot of fatigue and pain. Heck the anesthesia took a week to get out of my system!
So, now what? I am already a nervous wreck for the upcoming surgery. Not thinking clearly as it is.
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Unread 11-21-2004, 12:50 PM

I think your husband should talk to your doctor, not his mother, who as far as I can tell is not a medical professional. Also, she may not accurately remember her surgery. Maybe it wasn't even the same surgery! I've known people to confuse hysterectomy with appendectomy an other things

You don't say what exactly the holiday plans are. Certainly you are not capable of hosting a party. If the family lives near by you MIGHT be able to stop by for not more than an hour to visit. When I was 3 days from a TAH I went out for lunch with my husband (my doctor encouraged me to do so because I did so well after surgery). Most of his patients weren't able to.
Unread 11-21-2004, 12:58 PM

The Christmas party would be 2 Hrs from me or I would have to Host one for 24 people. Not happening. I will have my DH talk to the GYN. My Mother-n-law is a retired LPN. Please don't get me wrong I am not intending to stay in bed the whole time, just not in me too do. But, I will go by how I feel and what the GYN says to do. The GYN already told me no trips for one week. His office Nurse Pract. said the same thing when I went back to his office last week to get paperwork and blood work done.
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Unread 11-21-2004, 01:00 PM

Hi, Boneta.

I agree with Wachusett -- your husband needs to talk with your doctor regarding your expected recovery, etc. Everybody is different and you may have additional health problems that would keep you from recovering faster than someone else. Even so, 3 days post-op is really too soon to be partying. Many ladies who have TAH/BSO aren't even released from the hospital until 3 days post-op. You'll be having a pre-op doctor visit so make sure your husband goes with you and gets the full scoop. If he can't be there with you, then ask your doctor if he/she would mind speaking with your DH by phone prior to the surgery. Let your doctor know that you are getting some MIL pressure about recovery and you need your doc in your corner. I doubt your doc will mind at all.

Good luck!

Unread 11-21-2004, 01:01 PM

Ditto....take hubby to office visit. Also print out info about the surgery and recovery for him to read.
Ignore Mother In Law. Stay focused on your recovery. Best of Luck. Maralyn
Unread 11-21-2004, 01:07 PM

Hi Chris,
Good Ideal to let the Dr. Know Of MIL pressure. Like I say just not thinking. I do have other health issues, not sure how and if would be a problem with surgery? I have high blood pressure (barely under control), MVP and a heart murmur that acts up everytime I get sick or loose a lot of blood like I had when I bled 27 days before they did the D&C last May. DH is taking off from work to be with me for Surgery and a week after. The GYN Said I would be in the Hospital 2-3 days. Do they count the day of Surgery as day one?
Unread 11-21-2004, 01:24 PM

I understand the MIL theory. They think they did so much so quickly. My MIL was telling my DH how I should be able to do normal things by Christams, surgery 12-08, she said she was back to work @ 3 weeks. I know that's a lie, because DH was over there a lot to help her, and her household consist of her and her husband, no children, no pets, in country, plenty of friends that stopped over. Me three kids, dog, cat, in city, no friends, except you ladies. Completely understand. They just don't want to admit that we should have quality time to relax and recover too, since we are soooo much younger than they are, we should be wonderwoman and spring back into action.
Unread 11-21-2004, 02:02 PM

I think in my MIL case she raised 5 kids cause her DH (My DIL) was always gone on Walkabouts (Like crocdile dundee) and was not able to take time off and if she can do it, so can everyone else theory. She is quite mild compared to her 3 daughters, can't wait till TG Dinner to see how they gang up on me. I already Told my DH "NO to hosting any parties for Christmas and New Years this year. He did agree to that, Thank Goodness! ='D
Unread 11-21-2004, 02:27 PM

OMG, Your Mother In Law must know mine!!! I told her I was trying to get easy fixin foods, clean, get things we'll need for a while (dog food, cat food, etc..) and she tells me, "you are over reacting. I was fine 4 days or so after surgery. YOu'll be running all over in a week".....NOT!!!!! She was not fine after 4 days..I remember her car ride home, she was sore! Granted, some feel really good and others don't, BUT even if we feel great we aren't suppose to do much for so many weeks (mine is 4-6).

I wish you the best of luck, lets not let our Mother In Laws get us down!! We'll do just fine...


Unread 11-21-2004, 02:42 PM

You should NOT be riding in a car for 2 hours for several weeks after surgery. You put yourself at higher risk for developing a blood clot. Ask your doctor and I think she/she will confirm that. Short trips are ok. Remember also to follow your doc's orders about driving yourself- usually this is 2 weeks; longer for some patients.

My return to work was pushed to 7 weeks by my doctor because of my long commute (2 hours one way!) Otherwise I could have returned to work 4 weeks after the TAH.

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