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I'm not the same person as before surgery I'm not the same person as before surgery

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  #41  
Unread 12-05-2004, 01:11 PM
My personality changes

Not sure if I can word this correctly. I have been married for 33 years and most of them were happy. But the last 5 have been hard and I am disappointed in my DH. I have grown in the marriage and he hasn't. I was living with it and now I find that I am no longer able to put up with it. He hates to work and hasn't put in a full week since he had emergency surgery in Feb of this year. I am short tempered with him and find that I don't talk to him anymore, I talk at him. I also say many things under my breath. It's as if the love is gone. I think the cancer, all of it gone, was a wake up call for me. I have done so much thinking and soul searching and would love to sell the house and relocate. My bank just got taken over and I am not happy with the new company. I love my job but it has changed signifacantly (s9c) so I am looking. Another problem is my DD, 29, still lives at home and is not able to live out on her own. So anything I do effects not only my DH but would put my DD out on the street. I am not depressed, just suffering from a rude awakening.
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  #42  
Unread 12-05-2004, 01:38 PM
I'm not the same person as before surgery

masxthree
I have to give my

29 and still home? I kicked my 20 son out because he was not wanting to do anything. I live in florida and I sent him to live with my relitives in CT. He's learning how to make it on his own. Its hard but If he doesn't learn now he never will. Its the hard times that make us strong people. If we don't let our children have hard times they will be soft and that is a curse.

Soini,
Maybe some day I will think this is a good thing, but right now I don't. I wish that GYNs cared about keep female reproductive ograns as much as dentist care about saving my teeth. To me my reproductive ograns are more inportant then teeth. Maybe that is just me.
  #43  
Unread 12-05-2004, 01:49 PM
You are so right

Weezy123,

I couldn't agree more but I have no one to send her to and her Dad would never allow me to toss her out. I am fighting a loosing battle. Sadly I am a sap. I worry that if I toss her out something might happen and I would never be able to live with myself. If it weren't that I would like to leave my DH I would not have a problem with her living here. My biggest problem is finances. I am deep in debt and have to get it straightened out before I can sell. I do have a goal of getting things in order and giving them both an ultimatume.

As for the hyserectomy? I agree that doctor's should do whatever they can to save our reproductive organs. I swore I would *never* get one but it was my only option for the cancer. Lost both my parents to cancer, and three of my grandparents, so I was not up to alternatives.
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  #44  
Unread 12-05-2004, 02:41 PM
I'm not the same person as before surgery

I sense a little judgment in the comment about doctor's saving our reproductive organs. Aren't we responsible enough to make these decisions for ourselves? I'm not at the mercy of my doctor, I did my homework, etc. I would have been p***ed if a paternal or maternalistic doctor had said it was his/her duty to protect my reporductive organs at all costs, including my pain and a worsening condition. I respect others may have made a different choice than, but would like the same in return.

I like the earlier sentiment that we are persons first.
  #45  
Unread 12-05-2004, 04:00 PM
I'm not the same person as before surgery

  Quote:
Originally posted by chrispr
I sense a little judgment in the comment about doctor's saving our reproductive organs. Aren't we responsible enough to make these decisions for ourselves? I'm not at the mercy of my doctor, I did my homework, etc. I would have been p***ed if a paternal or maternalistic doctor had said it was his/her duty to protect my reporductive organs at all costs, including my pain and a worsening condition. I respect others may have made a different choice than, but would like the same in return.

I like the earlier sentiment that we are persons first.
Not what I met. Sorry if you or any one took it that way. We all have different reasons for having this surgery and I not cutting any one for their reasons.

For me. I talked to several doctors and I was told that "I'm not having any more children so take it all out and you don't need them any more. You won't have any more problems with them." Well I have more problem now then before.

Maybe I had bad luck with gyns but it was the attitude about my reproductive organs that gets under my skin. Not one told me about ways to avoid having a hyster and I had to fight to keep my overies and cervix.
If I was told my other options I would not of had this surgery.

They are the professionals then why do I have to do all the reseach that they should know and tell me? If I have a bad tooth I'm told what can been done to save it or pull it.

If I hire a carpenter to repair my house do I have to know every thing there is about fixing it too. If I did then I would not need to hire them! So why are doctors any different? Why do I have to do hours of reseach after paying a big bill for their half truth?
I'm a single parent and I did have time to be the doctor too.
  #46  
Unread 12-05-2004, 04:06 PM
Maybe I didn't word it correctly

What I meant was that doctor's/scientist should be doing research to save our reproductive organs. Perhaps a cure for endometrosis? We have the choice as to whether we opt for a hysterectomy in most instances but from what I have read here the women suffering from endo. do not have an option. I could never understand why a women would *want* a hysterectomy but after reading some of these threads I have changed my way of thinking. I have never had trouble with periods, and I got my first one at age 10 and had it not been for cancer I would not have had the surgery. I do not consider myself less a woman but I do know that the uterus still does good even after menopause.

Those are just me thoughts. I could be wrong.
  #47  
Unread 12-05-2004, 08:58 PM
I'm not the same person as before surgery

sorry to keep this going - my point is nobody is right or wrong in this decision. it's each of ours to make. believe me, i didn't "want" major surgery, but i also didn't want things to get worse.
  #48  
Unread 12-05-2004, 09:35 PM
I'm not the same person as before surgery

hi all
Thanks for this thread. I am reading this with tears in my eyes. Your stores echo what I have been feeling for weeks. I am not the same person. Yes I took restock of my life. I would have died without this surgary...eventually hemorhaged to death. It gave me a gratefulness and perspective of what I want to do change things. Once I started feeling up to it. I realized I needed to change my work. I was not working a lot and I am tired of the feeling of waiting for my work to call me. So I made a decision that will change my life for now. I decided at 45 to take the bull by the horns and go back to school. So here I am back at school wondeirng how I am going to make it financially etc. Knowing the time going will change my life for the good. I am going to become an insurance coding billing specialist. I am really hating nursing as I can't do it physically anymore and I hate how I am not getting work at this agency I started wtih 14 years ago. I loved it then but realize that is not my passion anymore. I love the patients but hate everything else about the job. I want something new to stretch my mind and use my intellect to the best of my ability. I am loving school and yes there are some there in there twenties there but there are a few older then older then me. I feel I can teach those younger by my life experiences.
I know this time off gave me a second chance at life and now I can live it to the fullest as I now have my health back! I am so thankful this nightmare of the female part is so behind me. I look at last christmas and how sick I was and so miserable. I am grateful for every day. Funny how almost dying and going thru a crisis changes things for us.
I am so glad I am not alone in this journey.
thanks sisters for sharing your stories they are encouraging.
I don't have prince charming yet either and i too had to give up the dream of hubby and family.
Maybe once I am out of school I will look into eharmony.com. I have heard neil clark warren interviewed on the radio and this site is truly different.
gl and hope you meet your mate.
teresa
good to see some of you ladies i saw here all the time.
  #49  
Unread 12-06-2004, 08:58 AM
I'm not the same person as before surgery

Hi oregongal45,
Thanks for your post,

I have to do something and that is I'm starting a local support group.
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