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I guess I've decided? I guess I've decided?

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  #1  
Unread 12-01-2004, 10:14 AM
I guess I've decided?

My first posts were a couple weeks ago in the alt forum. Now I have my surgery date for a Supra cervical Abdominal Hysterectomy, which is December 20th. I just got the date yesterday and was up until 2am last night. I am really freaking out.

I have not decided if I am keeping my cervix or not. The doctor originally said to take it out because of HPV and a few abnormal paps, but after talking to her again, she said I can go either way. My last 3 paps were normal.

But my uterus is coming out, that I know. It's as if I am 6 month pregnant all the time. I have 3 huge fibroids, one is nearly a watermelon. My uterus is giant and tipped, pressing on my back side. I am always in pain. I also have Arthritis, Colitis and Lupus, which doesn't help.

I am 36 and I do not have kids, so the decision has been really hard and painful for me to make. Now I must decide if I am keeping my cervix and I have 19 days to finalize my decision. My doctor wrote on the paperwork that we are going to leave it, but she said I can change my mind right up to the point where they put me out. She said if it were her, she'd take it out because of the possibility of cervical cancer and another surgery. I've read about how it helps with sex and the big O, and that it also helps to keep things in place -- with my uterus gone, I need all the structure I can get?

Can anyone help me make this decision? I really need it. I am also very very scared of the surgery. I don't know how I'm going to make it through this.
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  #2  
Unread 12-01-2004, 10:19 AM
I guess I've decided?



Just wanted to let you know that this is a big decision and if you have any doubts at all sit down with your doctor and get answers. Make a list of questions and concerns so you can make a decision and feel good about it.

Most of all know this is a great site to come and get encouragement and just to be with others who know what you are going through.

  #3  
Unread 12-01-2004, 11:19 AM
I guess I've decided?

Fuffiecat,
The advice to talk to your doctor and be certain of your decision is a good one.

You WILL make it -- through this and beyond. I know this time of your life is scary and sad. I never had children -- combination of bad luck and circumstances and whatever else. Fortunately, for me, this "decision" (or "result") was already in the past when I faced having a hysterectomy, so the two were not related. When I finally realized that I definitely would never have children, I really thought that I would die. Literally. I thought life was OVER for me. I thought that I would never be happy again. But somehow, life has gone on, has gotten better, and now I feel like I am a very happy, complete person ! I have a very good, full life. I never would have believed this ten years ago !

When I had the surgery, I had it done vaginally and I think this meant taking the cervix, too. I don't think there was any choice in the matter. But having it "gone" really hasn't affected me sexually. Maybe I'm not as sensitive as some other women, but I honestly can't feel any difference. Sex is good and the big "O" is still there. (But I'm also the kind of woman who can't differentiate between vaginal and clitoral O's and I don't know where my "G" spot is, or even if I have one. So what do I know ?!)

Anyway, I wish you luck and much happiness in your life journey. There IS life without children. It is different, but it can be very good. Take care.

Barbara
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  #4  
Unread 12-01-2004, 12:46 PM
I guess I've decided?

Read your reply to my" Cervix or no Cervix"...

It's a tough decision to make .... but going through all the replies I received it is nice to know the results tend to be good with both outcomes....(kept or Removed)

Like I said earlier I still have til March to make my decision but I find all this input very (soothing) interesting ....

It's comforting for me to know that I'm not the only one with these sometimes frightening decisions...

Keep in touch
  #5  
Unread 12-01-2004, 12:54 PM
I guess I've decided?

Barbara,

Thank you. I really appreciate your very wonderful message. I can relate to it already and I have not yet had the surgery or decided for sure about the cervix thing. I too have a very full life and I really don't see children, or at least babies, in my world. Motherhood seems to not be related to my feelings of loss, but, perhaps ...it's a different kind of motherhood? - both a biological/hard-wired thing or just a feeling of femininity. Having no uterus (even though I don't want children) is still very upsetting, as if I will not longer be a whole woman. It is interesting to me - this feeling, as I am very tomboyish/tough/rebellious type. I am an artist and I guess I am just sensitive? I am really not sure. Seeing all the women in the waiting room of my OB/GYN's office (either pregnant or with newborns) is enough to make me sob.

On the flip side, I really do hope the quality of my life will improve. I need it to. My pain is always present. I am constantly keeping distracted because of it. It's made me obsessive/focused. I'd rather spend more time experiencing the good things in life rather than staying in a constant coping mode. Your support is really meaningful. Thank you.
  #6  
Unread 12-02-2004, 06:43 PM
December surgeries...

I am scheduled for surgery 12/21 -- so I send you my best regards! After speaking with three friends of mine who opted to have their cervix taken along with the uterus, I am definitely having mine removed. My friends said that sex is actually better since their hysterectomy...

I have pain when my cervix is touched -- so it will be great to have it removed. I have been reading a lot of medical reports and have found nothing to support keeping the cervix.

Good luck to you!

CV
  #7  
Unread 12-02-2004, 07:48 PM
I guess I've decided?

My Dr told me that he was taking the cervix. Didnt leave it up to me at all, and since I was never told I had any problems what-so-ever with my cervix, I decided to ask my Primary Dr today at the pre-op visit... surgery 12/6
"Why will he take the cervix if there are no problems"
She said that years ago they left it in thinking that it helped keep the bladder from falling so low... but later studies showed that it really didnt matter whether they left it or took it. She said that he more than likely decided to take it for the possible future cervical cancer reason. She told me that it has no impact on orgasms or sex and that it doesnt affect the natural "moisture" our bodies create. She told me that it will be exactly as if it were still there!
Hope this helps... but I also recommend talking with your DR.
Also if anyone has been told different than what I was told I would sure like to hear about it. Just making sure I was correctly informed since she wasnt a GYN just a PAC... I like her but I like to have more than one persons
Good luck with your decision!
  #8  
Unread 12-02-2004, 10:18 PM
I guess I've decided?

HI,
I also had some concerns about the same issue. He took my cervix. It hasnt affected oragasm at all.. at least not in an adverse way. As far as needing it to support things, they can attach the ligaments that hold the uterus top of the vagina and all is well. I have had no problems with my surgery at all.
Good luck to you.
Suzann
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