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Friends Don't understand!! :( Friends Don't understand!! :(

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Unread 12-06-2004, 06:20 AM
Friends Don't understand!! :(

i had my hyst last year. and i still have my right ovary...still having alot of problems... i just wanted to complain about a friend that doesn't understand! i confided w/ her regarding my sex life with DH. THERE IS NONE!!It hurst way to bad and it hurts for a few days afterwards .. i called my Dr. friday and i have appt on wed.
anyways we were together last night (my friend) and we were talking about sex! she just blurted out in front of other friends "well Lynn can't have sex"!!! i don't know how her hubby puts up with it!!! i was soo humiliated!!! i thought that was something i shared with her alone.. i am very sad that we don't have of a sex life anymore i'm only 30 and i feel like 50.. just wanted to know if anyone else has a hard time explaining all of your post- op problems to friends and family... sometimes they just don't understand at all!!!!
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Unread 12-06-2004, 06:33 AM
Friends Don't understand!! :(

I understand how you feel. I had TAH just for that reason because it hurt to bad to have sex. I had my TAH in Aug and I am so disgusted that it still hurts to have sex and my heart was broken. DH, try to understand but everyone else thinks I should just give and to keep him happy!! I do not wish pain on my friends but if they only understood.

Two weeks after surg. I started back driving so from then on everyone thinks I should be well and doing much better then before. I have got where I don't even talk to my friends much or alot of my family over it.

I went back to the doc Fri and told how sad i was and that all I wanted to is sleep. He told me that I was very depressed, had IBS, and put me on prozac. I have really feel emberrased now cause now I really feel crazy. But with in three days of taking atleast I really dont care what they think and I am smiling again. My kids seem to notice too. It's been two days since they have got hollard at.

Best of luck and let me know what you dr says about the pain and maybe it might help me too.
Unread 12-06-2004, 08:04 AM
Friends Don't understand!! :(

In my opinion, that was a very hurtful thing for your friend to say. Makes me wonder if there are some issues with her that are surfacing. I'd like to her on your behalf.

You do have us and we do understand what its like to lose your sex life and be in a confusing (at best) state with how to deal with your medical issues. Its so much to deal with.

Gentle, healing for you and some too!
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Unread 12-06-2004, 08:23 AM
Friends Don't understand!! :(

It certaintly was very rude for your friend to blurt that out. It is a very personal matter and something you didn't want to share with just anybody. I hope she apologized for it.
I will be 7 months tomorrow and have pain with innercourse. It is very disappointing. I thought after my surgery things would greatly improve in the sexual relationship with my DH. He is being very patient with me and supportive with any treatment I may need,but how long can this go on?
I tried to talk to my sisters ,whom I am very close too. They won't disgust any sexual issue with me. I finally told my gyn about the lack of sensation a few weeks ago. That took alot of courage. I didn't get any answers from him either.
I feel like it will remain a unresolved issue.

People do need to be more sensitive to our personal issues.

I hope you let your friend know how bad she hurt you by her actions.
Unread 12-06-2004, 11:16 AM
Friends Don't understand!! :(

** CoffeeLover, I am so sorry! This is NOT a friend. She sounds like an insecure jerk!
How did the others recact? Unless they were in shock or anything less than disgusted with her she they are not likely friends either.
I would guess that this so call friend, does not feel secure in her relationship. She cannot wrap head around the fact that your husband is sticking with you through this. Her motives are very selfish. You DH loves you with or with out sex and that burns her up!

Let us know how your appt goes. I know all too well the endo pain you are feeling As you can see many of us have the same problem with sex. I may be older than you but trust me that does not make it easier. I have not had pain free sex for YEARS. It is maddening! And to have someone rub it in your face is just sickening!

Unread 12-06-2004, 12:53 PM
She is a loser


She is no friend, not to add anymore concerns to you. If I was you I would watch my back (or your DH). She sound like a snake in the grass looking for a prey.
Lose her and her so called friendship, you don't need a person like that around you at this time.

Just continue to heal and come to this site for the emotion support.
Unread 12-06-2004, 06:21 PM
Friends Don't understand!! :(

coffee lover - I am so with you on this, not only are we from the same town, we both have pain...we both have no sex life...i went to doc today, he thinks i have a hernia and said we would address the other issues after a cat scan on friday...hang in there :-)

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