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When somebody asks 'How Are You?' When somebody asks 'How Are You?'

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  #1  
Unread 12-07-2004, 10:10 AM
When somebody asks 'How Are You?'

Simplest question in the world - how are you - and I have no idea how to answer it.
Nobody really wants to know, not even your mother. And if a helper asks, and you slip and say 'fine', just out of habit, you're screwed and help is gone. Even though you're not fine, not even close.
Sisters - what do you say?

joano
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  #2  
Unread 12-07-2004, 10:20 AM
When somebody asks 'How Are You?'

Just be honest. No need to go through all the details on how you feel, I just say "not feeling so hot"...that is it. Or you could say, I am not feeling any better yet.

I am in pain management and my DH calls me at home and asks how is the pain every single solitary day! It really ticks me off for some reason. I want to yell, the pain is not going away, it is chronic!
His exact words on the phone "how are you feeling so far today?"
:hair:
I just grit my teeth and say "the same"
he is being thoughtful, I know, but what is he expecting me to say? I had a miracle and the pain is gone?

Sorry, didn't mean to vent..LOL
but you are right, if you say fine they expect you to start cleaning house.
  #3  
Unread 12-07-2004, 10:32 AM
When somebody asks 'How Are You?'

Joano - I say, "not as well as I had hoped by now." Which is the unfortunate truth. Oddly, enough, some people then say, "well, I'm glad you're feeling better"!
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  #4  
Unread 12-07-2004, 10:38 AM
When somebody asks 'How Are You?'

  Quote:
Originally posted by Babs100
Joano - I say, "not as well as I had hoped by now." Which is the unfortunate truth. Oddly, enough, some people then say, "well, I'm glad you're feeling better"!
That is because those people are asking out of manners and aren't really listening to what your answer was.
  #5  
Unread 12-07-2004, 10:44 AM
When somebody asks 'How Are You?'

I find myself using "ok". Implying not good, but not too bad either.

Marianwrn---my husband does the exact same thing...calls everyday while he is on the road and asks how I am doing and how's the pain....???is he expecting an overnight miracle??? I think he is getting tired of playing "Mr. Mom", "The Maid" and "Caretaker". Though I truely think he cares, but yet he is patiently waiting for me to say someday...."I'm ready to take over all my motherly, wifey, maid and whatever other responsibilities I have"......he'll have to keep waiting.

I over did things yesterday and I paid for it dearly last evening and today yet. Good lesson for all....even though we feel like we are up to doing things....we probably aren't. Rest...rest...rest...
  #6  
Unread 12-07-2004, 11:07 AM
When somebody asks 'How Are You?'

My stock answer is "I've had better days." People generally ask how you feel because we're programmed to ask--"hihowareya" kinda thing. Unfortunately, we're not programmed to actually listen to the answer. Your real friends will listen; to everyone else, the question is like a verbal hiccup, not a real question.
  #7  
Unread 12-07-2004, 11:29 AM
When somebody asks 'How Are You?'

Heck, let people know! People who know you, that is. If it's a store cashier, I just say 'fine.' If family or friends ask, I go into some more detail, depending on who's doing the asking. Believe me, your mom really wants to know that you are doing okay.

If you're having a rotten day and you don't want to feel like you are burdening your loved ones, come here! There are lots of sympathetic shoulders to cry on! We've all had our good days and our bad days because we're all going through the same thing. We can offer suggestions to help you get through the bad times. If nothing else, it helps to communicate with others in your same boat.
  #8  
Unread 12-07-2004, 11:46 AM
When somebody asks 'How Are You?'

I know what you mean. My by-line is "some good days, some
bad days". Seems to work. No one asks anything else!

Connie
  #9  
Unread 12-07-2004, 11:51 AM
When somebody asks 'How Are You?'

I just say "hanging in there" its basic and not too much detail...
if I tell my family I am feeling even "ok" then they would expect me to do everything I did before surgery!
Its weird though because one hour I can feel good, and the next hour I feel like complete c**p! lol
cant wait to be able to say "great!"
  #10  
Unread 12-07-2004, 12:36 PM
When somebody asks 'How Are You?'

I know exactly how you feel! You feel like you should say fine or ok or that you're doing better even if your not so you don't sound like a whiner, but the minute you do say that the help and support seems to dwindle. I agree that some people ask just to be polite. It seems like people who have not this type of surgery think you should just be up and around after a week and they act like you're milking it when you do what you're supposed to do and stay down. The one comfort I have found is through this board and knowing you're not alone. When people ask me now how I am doing now I just say still sore but getting there. Good luck to you!

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