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insults from hubby!! insults from hubby!!

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Unread 12-10-2004, 08:13 AM
insults from hubby!!

Originally posted by marianwrn

For plane fare, I can come over there and kick his butt [/b]
I think that you could get a whole delegation of hyster sisters to help you with that!

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Unread 12-10-2004, 11:45 AM
insults from hubby!!

lol its ok ill be kicking his butt for him.anyway im going away to a lovely country cottage tomorrow for a few days wiv my parents, they asked me cos they know im not happy or looked after here!!thanks for all your supportive comments!!!
Unread 12-10-2004, 11:54 AM
great news

So glad to hear you are getting away for a few days. That will be lovely. Rest, relax and let yourself be pampered!

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Unread 12-10-2004, 12:11 PM
insults from hubby!!

For those who are in bad relationships, let me share a little something with you.

Five years ago, I ended my last relationship as I was tired of being a door-mat. My self esteem was as low as it could get, and I just couldn't imagine being all alone. I was also tired of "sharing" him with other women.

What I discovered - it is so much better to be alone, then lonely in a relationship. In the past five years, I helped a friend live her final year with a brain tumor. I felt blessed to have the time to be with her, and didn't have anyone questioning "my time."

I've had two major surgeries, and found out that although I didn't have a significant other, I had many wonderful friends and co-workers.

My son and I have a very close, open relationship. There is no turmoil, arguing, or trying to reason with someone else on why I do, or don't do, things a certain way. He no longer sees me crying about "some guy who doesn't care."

I bought a house on my own.

I've had two job changes, each better and with more money, becuase I had the confidence to "go for it."

Yes - without that negative energy - I have improved 200%. Am I lonely - no. Do I get ****** - yes...but hey, by now, if I AM going to be with someone, I didn't wait five years for CRAP. I want the best. No, I DESERVE the best. No longer will I settle for what I THINK I can get, but for what I KNOW I deserve. And in the meantime, I will enjoy my life, which is so much more relaxed, happy, and well adjusted, then it ever was in my last three relationships and failed marriage. And when I do meet people, it takes about 20 seconds to see the selfishness (what? they didn't ask about my life, my feelings, my family) the alcoholism (what? that's their third drink while I'm still on my first) and their rudeness (Oh I know you didn't just make that comment about that person that just walked in the door). Yep - we always say hind-sight is 20/20, and when we think back to that moment when we truly knew the person we were with wasn't right, the signs were always there.

Don't ever think that being alone is bad. It's truly a time to self-reflect and find out who YOU are, and what YOU want and need in life. Then, once you are healthy - you can start to attract healthy people.
Unread 12-10-2004, 12:48 PM
insults from hubby!!

I am so glad you are going away. That will help you so is great!
Unread 12-10-2004, 01:15 PM
insults from hubby!!

Hey Marian, I'm in!! I'm feeling strong today, and having lived 8 years with a verbally abusive (fill in the blank)...I'm in the mood to rumble. Reminds me of the Dixie Chicks song about Earl, and we all know what happened to "poor" Earl. There's a beautiful song by Maura O'Connell about this type thing, wish I could remember title. I used to tune out when my dh was blathering on telling me what I SHOULD do and how Fat and Ugly I was (he called me JabbatheHutt etc.) He was such a jerk! Ironically, he was good in hospital situations with cranky nurses, so he plans to come be there when I have my surgery according to my kids. Divorce and time provide some healing, but I remember, I remember. Hang in there Candypops...we all care.
Unread 12-10-2004, 01:19 PM
insults from hubby!!

I have just sat here and read your post and others who have replied, and oh wow it so reminded me of my ex. I was married for 20 yrs in a verbally asusive relationship. It did not start until we had been married for a few years, and I always thought it will get better. I would put up with the abuse, when he said "no one will ever want you". After I was pregnant, and had given birth he would tell me, that I was his and that if i left he would kill me, and I would never see my kids again. I believed this, but then 4 years ago something snapped and I got up and left. Actually it felt more like running for my life.
I have not looked back since that day and we got a divorce yayyyyyyy he is now with someone else and she is going through the same thing I did.
He tore my self esteem and confidence out of me, and made me feel like dirt.
I can say I am glad I left, and as for my kids well one of my daughter now lives with me, so how wrong was he.
You say your gonna leave, my advice is if you do it, never look back never listen to his pleads of he will change, bsecause he won't. make sure you have some where to go, and you know you will be safe.
I wish you so much luck, and I hope your recovery will go much better now your getting away for a bit, you deserve all the luck in the world.
Unread 12-10-2004, 02:30 PM
insults from hubby!!

aww im nearly crying at all the lovely supportive messages, thanks soo much everyone!!i am staying put in my house that ive had for over 18 years, he will be the one leaving !!!!my problem is that i have 4 dogs that need walking so for now he cna stay and be the dog walker, i'll use him like hes used me for the past 7 years
Unread 12-10-2004, 03:08 PM
insults from hubby!!

Yes...that is just very, very cruel. My DH gets upset with me when I try to cover up my scars. Since he married me I have had two surgeries and am covered with scars so to speak.

When your DH says things like that its his disease talking - Alcoholism. Just as the previous post said, no matter what you do you can't cure addition to AA, there is a program for families and friends of alcoholics...its called Alanon. Check it out...its way cool. I am sure they have info on the web. It will help you find your own solutions....

In the meantime, you take extra care and know you did not create this situation. I'll be thinking of you...

Unread 12-10-2004, 03:52 PM
insults from hubby!!

Hi candypops,
I am so sorry you have to go through this now that you need him the most. This sure tell us everything about him! He is so stupid that he can not see what he has infront of him. Yes, you are beautiful and kind and he does not deserve you or anyone else.
Please, try to get rid of him and just take one day at the time.
I know one day you will find someone that will love you for what you are. Yes, as the other sister said, BE CAREFUL!


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