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How Is Everyone's Husbands/Better Half's Doing?? How Is Everyone's Husbands/Better Half's Doing??

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Unread 12-15-2004, 06:51 PM
How Is Everyone's Husbands/Better Half's Doing??

I am 1 wk post. My DH gets a B+ overall. Nevermind that barn door that was demo-ed when he had to start taking care of 12 horses during harsh weather. I just keep telling him "don't get hurt out there..who you gonna call to take care of this farm if you're hurt." The house is a little more cluttered than usual and the dust bunnies have taken over, but yeah, I want to ride again and it wasn't going to happen the way things were going.
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Unread 12-15-2004, 07:09 PM
How Is Everyone's Husbands/Better Half's Doing??

I'm one week post op and my dh has been fantastic. Now mind you in alot of ways he's better at the housework than I am. In the past, however, when he's done it he griped and moaned about why can't you do it etc. During this past week he hasn't done that once. He waits on me hand and foot without hesitation. Had a little set back last night that caused me to break down. He was right there for me and went out to get meds for me that I wanted. Tonight he made up a ice pack for me when I talked about how nice the one in the hospital was.

It has been interesting seeing him get frustrated at things that I used to get frustrated over, that then he didn't think was a big deal. Things such as the kids and their refusal to eat whatever, the kids' school schedule etc. (We are back and forth to the school 4 times a day either dropping someone off or picking them up.)

He took this time off work to deal just with the school aspect alone. This week school has been more hectic cause all the classes having various parties and needing this or that. So he's been dealing with that too. Tomorrow is the kids' last day then they are on summer break. Dh goes back to work next Tuesday.

He's always worrying about me. He's taken over dealing with the kids at night. Our 5yr old ends up in bed with us most nights. Since my surgery, I took over my son's bed and dh has our bed to sleep in and son sleeps with him. That way no worries about me accidently being kicked or pushed during the night.
Unread 12-15-2004, 07:10 PM
How Is Everyone's Husbands/Better Half's Doing??

We've been married for 35 years and I've nursed him through alot. This is his first turn. He was very nervous about watching me...didn't want me to pass out or fall when I first got home.

I froze alot of dinners prior and my adults kids have dropped off food also. Hubby cooked for the first time in 2 weeks last night...fried eggs. I ate it.

Overall, DH is doing ok. Did have to raise my voice though to get him to strip the beds and do the laundry. I can tell he's tired and wants me well again. I think I'll go lay down now.
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Unread 12-15-2004, 07:19 PM
How Is Everyone's Husbands/Better Half's Doing??

Sarah in Canada

Im in Maple Ridge, about 40 mins from Vancouver. Nice weather we had today. ANyways, I think my hubby was very happy to see that I recouvered and jumped back into my duties at 2 weeks. My mom was around for the first ten days, so that helped him out loads. Once my mom left I cooked, but he'd take the kids back and forth to school, and would vaccume. Iget him to bring the laundryinto the laundry room and I'd do the washing /drying, he'd fold and put away. Can't complain though as he's the one bringin home the paycheck. HE did what he had to do, but sure didn't enjoy doing it, do any of us thou?

Unread 12-15-2004, 07:52 PM
How Is Everyone's Husbands/Better Half's Doing??

What great posts!!!

Sounds like we are all in the same spousal ship!! Smooth sailing...NOT!!

Thanks for all the replies. I knew I wasn't alone in this journey with regards to the DH. It is funny to read all the quirks our husbands/better halves have!! I hope that at the end of all this, we as moms/wives/housekeepers..etc. get the accolades we deserve. It's not an easy job and contrary to popular opinion, we aren't at home eating bon bons and watching Oprah all day....or at least not until we went under the knife!

You girls rock and take care of yourselves!

Keep the posts coming....!

Unread 12-15-2004, 08:08 PM
How Is Everyone's Husbands/Better Half's Doing??

Mine get an F for assistance, F for caring, F for housework......get the picture. I have a 19 yr old DD (who by the way had a baby freshmen yr of college) and to think I was so mad about that but boy am I glad now she was home this semester. If not for her, I don't know what I would have done. As of right now, my DH is not even speaking to me because I let him have it this weekend screaming and yelling at him and accusing him of not being in love and our marriage just being convenient right now, that's it!! So sisters, pray for us. Better yet, for him because I'm going to choke him soon (LOL). But, I am a new me and don't care anymore about his sulking and being mad at me for days when I did nothing wrong. His excuse....I work 10-12 hrs and PT work and my back hurts! Still, that's no excuse for not even offering to help me out of bed the 1st week or rubbing my feet with lotion or offering to drive me to the dr last week when I caught this bug (instead the dr fussed me out for driving by myself. I didn't want my DD to drive me for fear of the little one catching germs). It's the little things that will kill a marriage. Sorry to vent but you asked!! Good to know there are some good and caring men out there though!
Unread 12-15-2004, 08:18 PM
How Is Everyone's Husbands/Better Half's Doing??

Why make the guys do so much housework? There's only a few things, like dishes or laundry, that have to be done, but the rest--leave it! Forget about it! My house, including the room we keep our parrots in, went 7 weeks without being vacuumed. Papers and junk and feathers piled up. It looked awful. But so what.

Life goes on. Eventually week 7 hit and felt good and so I finally got to it and cleaned it all up.
Unread 12-15-2004, 08:20 PM
How Is Everyone's Husbands/Better Half's Doing??

6 weeks post SO (been together 4 years) has now decided that at 6 weeks I should be all healed - after all - that's what disability paid me. He was great - better than that - until that fateful day! I can't believe this. Today he had a pity party - couldn't believe sex wasn't first and foremost this morning...ugh....WOMEN SHOULD RULE THE WORLD.
Unread 12-15-2004, 08:21 PM
How Is Everyone's Husbands/Better Half's Doing??

Oh my gosh, Rumart!

I am sooooo sorry to hear about the lack of support you are experiencing!

It is frustrating, stressful and hurtful. I hope that your daughter can help you out a bit.

It is times like these that really test a relationship/marriage. I often think that it can put a wedge between couples, especially when one harbours anger and discontent toward the one that is ailing.

I am not sure what the answer is for you. I guess the less you worry about what you are not getting from your husband and focus more on your own health and needs, the sooner you will be back up to speed?

My prayers are with you and hope you can collect the strength you need to heal!


Unread 12-16-2004, 12:12 AM
How Is Everyone's Husbands/Better Half's Doing??

DH=Dear Husband or Dumb*#@ Husband?

I am almost 5wks TAH my DH or whatever you want to call him is just driving me nuts and don't get me wrong hes a GOOD man and father and GREAT husband of 14 yrs and we just turned 30 that's 1/2 our lives. But i am afraid this last surgery and ilness not only that but a ton of coplications which have most truthfully left me in a ton of pain and emotional anguish ( usually very low maintence but always ill or in pain wife) lately. He just can't deal with it anymore i had this feeling about it and gotta tell you last surgry ovary removal not a fun trip, so this time i stayed with my mother 2 miles up the road and that was great healing time and great time alone with my mom.
Mom was leaving town and i could not wait to get home DH and 2 kids did great for 2 days after that and since you would think they would starve to death if i did not go to store DH claimed he wouldnot nknow what to get then of course silly me i forgot once i got the food home i would have to cook it OWE. They progressivly worsened . my oldest dd she does everything now i can't do GOD bless her 12 year old soul she resents me though i can tell, but my 6 year dd shes a whole nother thing she knocks on my door every 15 min for something. EVERY 15! DH tells me today i should be feeling better and he's mad that he has to do a drywall job on his christmas vacation from school. He was all nuts at finals but passed with flying colors and then some but finals was last week and now he has to work. Myself after 13 years of only working 6months at time for pennies because I was always sick i promised him he could go back and get his degree this year he has workehard construcion for 16 years and ay to smart with computers and networking for that. Then came the surgery not happy he had to take care of kids for 3 wks of his first 1/4 back to collage in 14 yrs he worke dhard for a 3.8. Now he resents me and keeps telling me to get this done and that done and then when i get hurt or another complication occurs he gets mad at me for not taking it easy!!! HELLO i know this is nuts but i wanna go back to my mommies!!! LOL!

Golly whining to long it is just this is the worst surgery i have ever had and i have had over 14 quit counting so much pain vagina collapsing and diagnosed with IC Very Painfull all day and night and now i'm doing everthing crying and feeling guilty that i can't do more cause every one keeps asking me all day long for this that or help i'm up last 3 days for 12 hrs cleaning cooking christmas bills and earning money want to die at end of day and no pauinpill in world will stop it!!!!!!!!!

But still i really need my husband and i have a feeling he needs me to now he just stays in his home office allday and night till he sleeps. We don't talk just argue and i miss him!

DH *****!!!!
Truly Sorry for this THread
it was therapy at most

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