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Well, it's official Well, it's official

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Unread 12-17-2004, 04:04 PM
Well, it's official

SO made his flight arrangements last night - he will be visiting his family in Oregon during my surgery and initial recovery. My surgery is scheduled for 12/28 (don't know what time yet) and his flight out is at 4:30 pm on 12/28. He will return on 1/2/05.

I am rather bummed - guess I now know in uncertain terms just how much he cares for me.

I am glad I have this site to visit and the support of my (hyster) sisters. I have asked a friend for a ride home from the hospital.
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Unread 12-17-2004, 04:29 PM
Well, it's official

I am so sorry about your SO. I would be extremely disappointed if I were in your situation. Does he know how much it means to you to have him there? Have you asked him to stay? Maybe he thinks this surgery is no big deal. You could try talking to him and tell him how you feel. Will you have anyone who can help you at home for a couple days after surgery? You will definitely have the support of you Sisters, day and night!
Unread 12-17-2004, 06:47 PM
Well, it's official

I am soooo sorry about your SO leaving!

It would be a huge shock to me if my fella did that! Do you think he is scared and is running away so he doesn't have to deal with his fear? Or is he really an uncompassionate person?

I hope that this doesn't affect your emotional and mental state going into this surgery. Although some anxiety and fear on your part is natural, it is in your best interest to be in a good mental frame of mind.

Please reach out to family and friends at this time. This is the time you will need them the most. And your true friends, neighbours and family that care about you will come to your aid.

Good luck to you and keep us posted! We are here for you!


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Unread 12-17-2004, 08:28 PM
Well, it's official

I'm also very sorry this is happening. Please come to us for all the support you need.

Do you have another friend or relative who might be willing to at least check in on you for the first few days you're home (if not the kind friend who is bringing you home from the castle)? Although you MAY be OK without, it would still be helpful if someone could at least stop by.

My best wishes to you. (And I'm not giving up on SO yet. He can still change his plans.)
Unread 12-19-2004, 01:36 AM
i can relate

i feel your pain and frustration! although i am divorced, my ex-husband said he would make the trip here to take care of our 2 kids and help me out around the house after my surgery. he backed out just after Thanksgiving, so i am going it alone. a family friend is taking my children for a week, and my best girlfriends are going to come and help me around the house as needed. my parents are going to take me to and from the hospital.

i am soo sorry your SO backed out on you last minute. i am grateful to have found this site! thanks to all you hyster-sisters!

oh, yeah...i am having a TVH on 12/20 b/c i have cervical dysplasia and do not want more children.

best of luck to you, justme5959....you will be in my thoughts as i recover...

Unread 12-19-2004, 10:44 AM
Well, it's official

Hi Justme,

Okay...so the going gets tough and your SO gets on a plane and leaves??

Sweetie...a hyst can be a new beginning for many ladies. Maybe it is time you looked at that. Every relationship has good times and not so good times. Right now, I am sure you could use his support. And if he can't see it, well...you may be better off if he gets on the plane.

Don't worry. We Hyster Sisters are here for you!!!!! 24/7 anytime you need support and hugs.

Best wishes,

Unread 12-19-2004, 10:58 AM
Well, it's official

I kindof know how you feel. I had close people that were supposed to be there for me not even showup to bring me home. I also have an exhusband that expects me to take care of the kids but when I asked him to take the kids so I could recup after the op he decided he had better things to do.

Good luck with your op and always remember even when no one else is God always with us!
Unread 12-19-2004, 01:12 PM
Well, it's official

Thank you all for your kind words and thoughts. I don't think that his choosing this time to visit his family is because of his fear of my surgery - I think he just doesn't care.

My 22 year-old daughter will be with me - although she doesn't drive, she will be a big help to me. I have a ride home from the hospital and I have made a huge list of groceries that I will be sure to purchase before my surgery. I don't want to run out of anything and not be able to get to the store.

We live about 15 miles from town and the roads can get pretty bad up here in northern MN. I am sure I'll be fine - just would be nice to have his concern.

And...of course, I have you, my (hyster) sisters.
Unread 12-19-2004, 04:53 PM
I can relate

I understand exactly what you are going through! My SO managed to tick me off a couple of days ago, complaining about his "desires" not being met. Well excuse me that my mind is on more important things than whether you are a happy camper or not. Needless to say I haven't heard from him since that little exchange of words and quite frankly if he can't cut it, he's not worth having around! You'll pull through this fine and become stronger because of it. My surgery is the week after yours and I've asked my Mom to take me to the castle and pick me up. My grown daughters will come and stay with me during the weekend and during the week Mom can drop by to see if I need anything. I will be stocking my pantry and frig with nourishment to get me by until I can drive. There is a reason I live by myself...it's called PEACE. Good luck with your surgery and best wishes for an uneventful speedy recovery.

50, Single, 2 C-sections, Tubal and now TAH 1/5/05
Unread 12-19-2004, 05:44 PM
Well, it's official

Copy that !

Peace of mind is worth a lot more than someone who is only concerned about themselves.

As my symptons worsened over the last year or so, my SO stated similar remarks to me. I decided the undue stress and energy I was spending to make sure he was OK is better spent making sure I am OK.

Whatever happens does so for a reason. Justme5959 you may not understand why today, but it will become clearer in the near future.

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