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Upset and hurt Upset and hurt

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Unread 12-18-2004, 11:41 AM
Upset and hurt

I had a TAH/LSO on 11/29, a friend of mine had the same thing on 12/07. She is already out running around and driving and plans on returning to work next week part time. There is no way I am ready for that. I still have burning, pulling pains and am very tired. I have only drove one time and that was after the doctor said I could and even after that I was very tired and only wen to the bank which is very close. She sais I must be in more pain then her and the fact that I am am diabetic is slowly me down. And told my DD this also. How does she know how I feel. Eveyone heals different and I think she is trying to be some super hero and will pay for it later and I am not willing to risk it at all. Sure I would like to get out and go shopping for Christmas but it just isn't worth the risk to me. Also she is 10 years younger than I am. I am kinda of really bitter about the entire thing now. Am I wrong in thinking this way? Should I be doing more? Am I being a baby about the whole thing, do I need to slap her? Sorry just had to vent..........
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Unread 12-18-2004, 12:08 PM
Upset and hurt

Even though you want to slap her, don't do it...LOL
You are not being a baby about it and you can vent here all you want!
She is 10 years younger, that is a factor too. No one and I mean no one recovers exactly like you do. And you never know, with all this running around she is doing, she might regret it soon. She is too early to be doing all she is doing anyway cause it sounds like she isn't following the basic rules.
You are doing exactly what you are supposed to do, so be proud of that! And I am glad you are not willing to risk it, you have the right state of mind for recovering and healing properly. Like I said, she will probably regret it soon enough.
Take care and continue being the good princess you are!
Unread 12-18-2004, 01:48 PM
Upset and hurt

Well, just to play devil's advocate- if your friend does really feel pretty good already, would you like her to do? Stay at home and pretend she feels bad?

Everyone does heal differently. Everyone (including my doctor) has been impressed by my recovery, and I felt guilty being at home the first week since I felt so good. Once I started doing more, I discovered that my stamina seemed to exist only in the vicinity of the couch. If that hadn't been true, I would be out and about a lot more. Even so, I feel like I'm setting the bar pretty high for the next sister in the office, and that makes me feel guilty. However, I'd feel more guilty (and bored!) if I didn't do as much as I'm comfortable doing. I'm sure you are doing as much as you feel comfortable doing, which is the right thing to do. This isn't a contest!

She's probably feeling just as bad about the inevitable comparisons and wondering what to do about it.

BTW, I'm 42 and was in great health before surgery.

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Unread 12-18-2004, 01:54 PM
Upset and hurt

No need to slap her she will be slapping herself for not taking it easy!! do not compare yourself with her we are all different and that includes the way we treat ourselfs after surgery. Recovery is not a race its a process, take care of yourself and enjoy the down time to reflect on the changes taking place within you, no need to hurry your worth it and you will be glad you did.

Happy Holidays !!!
Unread 12-18-2004, 02:39 PM
Upset and hurt

Although I find it hard to believe, maybe she does feel that good, and if she does, so what! We are all different, and we don't all heal at the same rate. It sounds like you feel the same way as the majority of us did(or do) at this point in time of recovery, so don't push it just because of her. She may be very sorry she is doing all this running around. I can't even believe you drove already, I didn't drive until after my 4 week followup, and that was just up the street to the store and back! Take care of yourself, listen to your body when you are tired or uncomfortable, and don't push it. Be the good princess that you are, and come here and vent whenever you feel like it. Everyone on this site is here to support you! Caroline
Unread 12-18-2004, 02:54 PM
Upset and hurt

I had a TVH on 11/8 ( Monday) and by that Thurs I'd walked over a 1/2 mile. I've had a wonderful recovery so far and didn't take any pain meds once home from the overnite @ the hospital. No problems with any of my " systems" so far but the internal stitches do get on your nerves!!

I was in EXCELLENT health before the surgery 43 yrs old and about 10 lbs under my " correct" weight ( 18 lbs under now) so I know that helped me out a lot.

So if your friend feels good ....I'd say she does!! It's REALLY hard to fake feeling that good when you feel like crap, no one can fake that.

Everyone's body has it's own time line and if you push it you will pay for it.
Unread 12-18-2004, 03:22 PM
Upset and hurt

I hear ya *big cry*!!! I stopped visiting the HS site for a day or so because it seemed everyone with my date of Dec 1 was doing so much better. It depressed me!! I'll alot older, nearly 56, and I'm sure it has slowed me a bit.

My doctor said our healing rate depends on so many things. I had alot removed with adhesions, cysts, fibroids, and I had a general and a spinal. I have not been able to tolerate the pain meds so I've never taken the prescribed I hurt all the time. Besides my age, I'm about 14 pounds overweight and I did not not have an active life before surgery. I was house bound for years with uncontrolled bleeding and anemia. Yard work is my limit!

Eventhough it gets you down, just know that there are also many of us who aren't out running. Do what you need for your body and it will pay off.
Unread 12-18-2004, 03:57 PM
Upset and hurt

I agree that all of us recover at different rates. I am also a Dec. 1 surgery and seem to be healing a little slower. I have been doing more things because I don't want to miss out on my kids holiday activities but then I need to just sit and relax at home in my chair.

I have both the lap incisions because I was supposed to have a lavh and I have the 8 inch incision because there was no way my dr could finish the surgery through the lap and vaginal incision. I have pains due to all of these incisions. I am trying not to compare myself but sometimes it is hard. I have also had bladder spasms (I have a patch I wear for that), a small urinary tract infection, and I think I may have a yeast infection. Things are good at times and then hard at other times. I just do what I can and sometimes what I have to then I rest a lot to make up for it.

I am glad that I don't have anyone nearby to compare myself to because I think I would do that. I am just going at my own pace and trying not to overdo things. I don't want any more problems.

Good luck to you all.

Unread 12-18-2004, 04:13 PM
Upset and hurt

I also am 42 and became very disappointed that I had a slower progression than some of the other sisters. I was in very good health until an annual physical revealed many problems resulting in severe pelvic pain. Even though many of us have these hysterectomies, the approach is different, they find many varieties of problems, and for some of us there is a whole lot more work done than just the hysterectomy. I for one am terrified of my adhesions returning, so am following the plan of care. Listen to your body. I found that about the 3 1/2 week mark, my pain had improved, and I was able to compare progress with others. I don't know why some people seem to gloat especially when they can see someone is in pain. I think it centers around their low self esteem. I have had a few friends that have displayed surprise that I was still doing so poorly. Yeah, well let them dig around in your belly for 4 hours and see how you feel. Some people. I vote to slap her! No, just kidding! (lol)
Unread 12-18-2004, 05:24 PM
Upset and hurt

Thanks Ladies,
I will not slap her - but the thought did nake me feel better. I am following my doctors orders and what my body tells me. My recovery is more importmant than being able to run around already. If she feels great then more power to her. I will just sit back and continue to let my family take care of me. You ladies are correct, we all heal different. I had a lot of scar tissue from prior surgeries and 2-c-sections and she didn't. I am 42 she is 32 and yes I realize that does make a differnence also. I do feel better now.

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