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There is light at the end of the tunnel There is light at the end of the tunnel

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Unread 12-30-2004, 07:27 PM
There is light at the end of the tunnel

Well Girls, I had my six week post op exam on Tuesday. Everything looked pretty good. My vaginal cuff was not completly healed and still a little tender and DR said I still had some stitches....Good news is I recieved the GREEN LIGHT to return to normal activities. Yea!! Now here is the problem..........Sex!! I promised my DH a nice dinner, candlelight and wine on New Years Eve and then a romantic evening by the fireplace. What do I need to know about this first encounter. It did not hurt terribly when the DR examined me so I am thinking it might not be too bad but the DR also told me to not let him penetrate too deep. Now how is that possible. Anyways, should we try it tonite first so I will no what to expect before the romantic evening?? Honestly, the whole thing scares me to death but I miss the love making tremendously. I almost wanted to lie to DH and tell him I couldnt do it for two more weeks. Isnt that terrible. Anyways everything else is going well. Put on low dose estrogen patch on Tuesday but still did not take away the hot flashes and sleepless nights. How long before those things kick in??? Lori

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Unread 12-30-2004, 07:59 PM
There is light at the end of the tunnel

Hi Lori,
Word of advice, still take it fairly easy. I vacuumed at 6 weeks, and hurt myself bad enough to end up on 3 days bedrest!! You still need to be very careful and rest....As for the lovemaking, get on top honey! That way you control the penetration, if it gets too much, you just lift up a bit!
I wouldnt wait, and couldnt wait. I would be testing the new equipment out tonite, and then have the romantic evening. That way it wil be romantic, and not stress filled!!

Happy loving
Unread 12-30-2004, 08:12 PM
There is light at the end of the tunnel

I have another week to go before sex (although, I doubt I'll wait that long) and I am prepared with an extra large tube of KY. It is SO dry in there and I'm afraid that the skin is going to pinch, so I want to make sure there is plenty of lubrication.
It's intereseting your doctor said you weren't completely healed but told you to go ahead with sex. Mine is paranoid of me having sex because I'm not completely healed and that's why she's making me wait another week.
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Unread 12-30-2004, 08:20 PM
There is light at the end of the tunnel

Lori, Somehow I can't imagine the thinking that went through your Doctor's mind when he (I assume he?) told you that you have stitches and are not completely healed, but hey - you have the Green Light....Does that make any sense to you?
You say it still hurts (and who says it has to hurt terribly before it's OK not to), and you're worried. The only one on this earth who can (or should) give you the green light is you, and until you are completely comfortable, that light should be red. You wouldn't be 'lying' at all to say you need 2 more weeks, more like that's the truth.
As to promises made - I'll bet every one of the sisters here, including me, can come up with several things we optimistically promised to do, and by a certain date.... I promised my partners that I'd be able to work 40-50 hrs/wk by Week 3. NOT!!!!! It sure did not happen.
DH won't die if you postpone, but think how bad he would feel if something happened to you. I know he wouldn't want to be the cause of that.
And then, one day when you are ready - to control it, just make sure you're the one on top! (Princesses RULE!)
(I know sisters, I'm ALWAYS chiming in with a different POV - you ***** things! LOL!)

(((can't believe the word that describes the accessories on the heads of mountain goats got censored!)))
Unread 12-30-2004, 08:33 PM
There is light at the end of the tunnel

My DR is a She and she is also a dear friend of mine. She didnt actually say I have the Green light. That is just how I put it. She said that he could not hurt me in any way but that it would be more comfortable for me to not have him go to deep into my vagina. I trust her completly. My husband would not have a problem if I say lets wait. He is a great person and would never ever want to hurt me so I dont have to worry about this. I want to do this for me because I miss that part of our relationship and I want to feel good for a change. I think my fear is not actually in the pain, but the lack of feeling good again. I am hoping that it all works again....even better than before. Thanks Joano for your concern and I understand where you are coming from. You Hystersisters are awesome as usual. Lori
Unread 12-30-2004, 08:59 PM
There is light at the end of the tunnel

Ahhhh, now that you've shed more light on that, I completely understand where you're coming from!
Interesting how you titled the post, yes, there is light at the end of the tunnel, after all!!!
Happy New Years' Eve
or Eve EVE, whichever comes first!

(I assume you're not reading this)
Unread 12-30-2004, 09:25 PM
There is light at the end of the tunnel

Dear Lori,

I think I understand how you feel. I know I was apprehensive about how everything was going to be after the hysterectomy and I wanted and needed to be held and have the closeness we once had. I think you will find in time that all your fears will be put to rest. It just takes time.
I know I wanted to try things almost more than my dh because I wanted to know it was ok. He just didn't want to hurt me. I think you will know when the time is right and you have a peace about it.
Wishing you well in your first times together.

s, Rita
Unread 12-30-2004, 11:52 PM
There is light at the end of the tunnel

hi Lori, I finally took the plunge, no problems, no pain despite my 'cuff' not fully healed.Felt a bit knackered the next day just like I would shopin for 2 long.I just wouldnt recommend a marathon session in th early days.
go girl and enjoy.
Happy new year to all sisters.
May your dreams come true in 2005
Unread 12-31-2004, 05:39 AM
There is light at the end of the tunnel

Lori...Same date as you and am so glad to hear you mention the light at the end of the tunnel. That too is how I view this recovery process. Seems to be a long road at times. Do what is comfortable for you, and only you know when the time is right. Glad to hear your 6 week went well and now you are really on the road as we hear it takes 6 months to a year to fully heal. The light sure signafies a big turning point in our recoveries. The best to you in 2005.
Unread 12-31-2004, 06:41 AM
There is light at the end of the tunnel

I am 5.2 weeks and got the green light too. I thought about it a long time and decided I am just NOT ready. I thought I was, but when push comes to shove I'm afraid. For me there is something about the 6 week mark that sounds right so I told my DH maybe at 6 weeks. He's just as scared as I am so there's no pressure. I am doing what feels right for me. Good luck thomas! Let us know!

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