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Hysterectomy...the big secret. Hysterectomy...the big secret.

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  #21  
Unread 01-02-2005, 09:55 PM
Hysterectomy...the big secret.

Sue,

I would just explain that you had surgery and it takes awhile to recover. Also, explain to him that not everyone wants to share their medical experiences and consider such things private.

I've told both my daughters that I was having a hysterectomy and that it was a surgery that would prevent me from having children. Both my kids are teens and one is on spectrum.

They are my children and they did warrant a more detailed explanation of the type of surgery I was having. Your 16-year-old autistic student doesn't need to know all the details, IMHO.

MissDaisy

  Quote:
Originally posted by coolaide
I agree with all of the above!! When people ask how I'm feeling, I am honest and say I feel pretty good, as long as I don't overdo it. I try to explain about internal healing, etc. Some people think I should feel worse than what I do, some think I should be back to work already.

I work with a 16 yr old autistic boy and will be going back to work in 3 wks. I told him I was having surgery before hand but didn't go into detail. He is very inquisitive and I know he is going to have alot of questions. I'm not sure how much to explain to him/lol.


Sue
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  #22  
Unread 01-02-2005, 11:16 PM
Hysterectomy...the big secret.

Hi Eubbie and all,

BOY, did you hit a nail on the head! I feel like a medical missionary...."HEY, I just had a hysterectomy!! It was EASY! Ask me about it!" Or, my favorite, "Want to see my little tiny port scars or my color glossy photos?" (LOL, that is only for those I know have a sense of humor!)

The moment you even mention the *h* word you get the strangest looks....or the Comparison Game..."oh, you didn't really have a hysterectomy because you still have some of your parts."

I have been handing out my new gyn's cards left and right. Her new book, "The Essential Guide to Hysterectomy" (Dr. Lauren Streicher) is my new bible (please, no offense meant to the religious right).

Not everyone is a candidate for the LSH I had in September, yet everyone is certainly entitled to ALL the information out there. A lot of men are very interested in helping their loved ones get HELP. Or, as my DH said, "sheesh, take CARE of THAT!" LOL.

I feel talking about it is a service I can provide; my surgeon and others provide the rest!

Making the decision to do it is the hardest part.

Reggae
LSH on 9/21 after 4 years of crazy bleeding and general chunky monkey bodily fluids!
  #23  
Unread 01-03-2005, 12:14 AM
Hysterectomy...the big secret.

Ok Girls...I am confused-bear with me. Why are any of you confused about your feelings over having a hysterectomy? It is a surgery just like other surgeries people have every day. Men are not ashamed to talk about their heart bypass surgeries or whatever so what is causing these feelings in you?

I had brain tumor surgery-shoulder surgery-breast reduction-ablations (which did not work but I tried) and had my jaw cut through and my face peeled up to have a tumor removed from behind my maxillary sinus. It is something people have every day.

Be thankful most of us do not have cancer concerns as some of the sisters here do-God Bless Them.

So...get enough rest-the housework can wait. If you hurt call your doctor. If your husband is not being sympathetic tell him to straighten up. If your work friends wonder why you have to take several weeks off let them wonder-they will find out when they have surgery of some kind.

You are WOMEN...quit feeling guilty and take care of yourselves!! You certainly are worth it!

Love...Mary
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  #24  
Unread 01-03-2005, 02:11 AM
Hysterectomy...the big secret.

s Weezy

eubbie ,

When my father in law had his leg amputated, due to diabetes, he was accomodated in every way by his family, his medical community, his co workers. When he was "blue", they said, "...he has every right to be sad".

When he was angry,they all said, "...well that's expected, of course, I'd be mad at the world too ".

When he was just plain ol' wishing he had that leg back - that was seriously going to kill him if it stayed- they said, " ...he just needs some understanding and tlc".

After a year passed and he was still blue, and angry and mad at the world, they said, " He just needs time" and he was graciously given that time.

No questions asked...amazing, huh? :hair:

I love you all, my Hystersisters. Be angry, be wishing, be mad at the world. And, take all the time you need to do so. Write your own ticket as far as recovery time goes.

Call that Dr. as many times as it takes! Remind that family that Hysterectomy IS a big deal. Bite your lip and bravely explain to those co workers, just what it is and what it ISN'T! By doing these things, we can be examples and pave the way for future Sisters, so that they can recover in times that are less stressful and far less ignorant than today.

Much Love,
AnnieWoof
  #25  
Unread 01-03-2005, 09:37 AM
Hysterectomy...the big secret.

Thank you, sisters, for all your thoughtful responses. You've provided me with even more food for thought.
  #26  
Unread 01-03-2005, 10:42 AM
Hysterectomy...the big secret.

Addendum:

I would not go into details of a hysterectomy with any student, especially an autistic child. If the student does not understand what a hysterectomy entails, then the PARENTS will have to explain what the surgery does and perhaps the parents do not want this job. Let them be parents and allow them to explain medical procedures in their own way.

I stand by my earlier statement, tell the autistic student you've had surgery.Tell te student it may take some time to recover but you will. Autistic children are a special lot, I know because I'm raising one on spectrum. For my daughter that means giving reassurance and telling her that I will be OK. She's been doing just fine with my surgery and has been very helpful during my recovery.

Now the advice of discussing surgery is different when dealing with adults. Adults have the ability to give consent to hearing about medical procedures. They should be mature enough to handle the details. Tell all you want to the adults but leave the children alone.

MissDaisy
  #27  
Unread 01-03-2005, 11:11 AM
Hysterectomy...the big secret.

This is a really interesting thread ! After I scheduled the surgery, I sent an e-mail out to my co-workers, telling them that I was planning to have a hysterectomy and would be out for several weeks. I work in an allied health field, and all of my co-workers are adults, so I thought they could take the whole truth. I am becoming more assertive as I grow older. I figured if they couldn't take it, it was THEIR problem, not mine. And I agree that, in the past, anything related to menses or female organs was taboo to talk about. People need to get over this ! It's not like I'm going to talk about my sex life in public, but we should be able to tell people we're having a hysterectomy (or even having a period) without total shame.

Individual differences need to be respected, too. Science can give you percentages and averages, but can NOT tell you what a particular experience or surgery or recovery will be like for YOU. Thanks, everyone. I'm learning a lot.

Barbara
  #28  
Unread 01-03-2005, 12:39 PM
Hysterectomy...the big secret.

I hear you! I guess I'm one of those girls who doesn't self-edit much, I tell anyone and everyone just about every detail and kind of watch their faces to see if it's TMI.

The interesting thing is since I've been so open about my experience, women are literally coming out of the woodwork with stories about their own problems (not necessarily hysterectomies but "female" problems in general. I am amazed at how many women I know have had SERIOUS problems and never said a word! It's like a big cover-up and people are afraid to talk about issues that involve their reproductive organs.

I find this to be a real disservice to other women. I felt so alone in my experience until I heard stories from other women about their own troubles.

Keep on sharing!
  #29  
Unread 01-03-2005, 12:44 PM
Hysterectomy...the big secret.

Okay... so I'm in the Steel Industry.. and I'm also 46 years old. I've worked in this industry for 25+ years. I've always been surrounded by men. So I learned early on not to pull any punches. I'm sure that at least 1/2 of the guys I worked with had my menstrual cycle on their calendars....

Anyhow.. I told my "guys" on a ccall right before Thanksgiving because I needed them to know my schedule and how to reach me while i'm out of commission. It was a matter of minutes within the closure of that call that the vendor, customer, co-workers calls started coming in. I was very honest with everyone.

The flowers, food baskets, books, etc.......... have been wonderful!
  #30  
Unread 01-03-2005, 02:16 PM
Hysterectomy...the big secret.

I agree with you, Miss Daisy, on not telling ALL to my student. I know the parents well and I know they will tell him what LITTLE he needs to know. These kids do need alot of reassurance and I did alot of that before I left.

I also agree and have no problem discussing my hysterectomy with any adult that wants to know about it. I think men are alot more open minded about that kind of thing than they used to be. Family men have been alot more open than I thought they would be, over Christmas when people asked about it.

Sue
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